DanO
Super Nomad
Posts: 1923
Registered: 8-26-2003
Location: Not far from the Pacific
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No good deed goes unpunished - Baja version
Here's a little scenario that proves this. Any similarities to real life are completely intentional.
1. Your wife has been demanding a dirt bike for her birthday for years, but you've used one excuse after another not to buy her one, so she thinks
you're too cheap and selfish to get her what she really wants. What she doesn't know is that this is all part of a sophisticated plan that will
demonstrate your total devotion to her.
2. You secretly buy her a brand new dirt bike, plus some groovy accessories -- helmet, goggles, gloves, boots, pants, jersey, the whole wad (because,
of course, you love her so incredibly much), and stash it all in the neighbor's garage. It pains you not to tell your kids, who would love to be in
on a surprise, but you don't, because they couldn't keep a secret from a dead guy.
3. You search high and low and find a little die cast metal model of the very same brand new dirt bike, which you wrap up to give her as a
"consolation" gift for that bike you're going to pretend you didn't get her again this year. Because although you love her very, very much, you can't
resist a good practical joke, and you know that once she sees how hard you've worked to show her how you feel about her, she'll think it was funny
too.
4. Before unwrapping her presents on her birthday, you make an excuse to get out to the back yard, then sprint to the neighbors' and roll the bike
back home and leave it in the darkened driveway, right outside the living room window. You haven't ridden it, or even fired it up (you want to, but
you suppress the urge). In fact, you haven't even sat on it. Why? Because you know that this is all about her needs and desires, not yours.
5. Back in the house, you give her the consolation gift. She smiles weakly, not wanting a fight in front of the kids and on her special day. Then
you give her a bigger box. She opens it, looks inside, and asks, with a puzzled look, what the helmet and goggles and gloves are for. You respond,
in your best game show announcer voice, "why, they're for you to wear when you're riding around in the desert, on your BRAND NEW DIRT BIKE!!!!," and
you flip on the outside lights to reveal the gleaming new machine crouching on the driveway like a big cat ready to pounce.
6. She. Goes. Nuts. There are tears. Big wet sloppy 30 second long kisses. You take her outside and she goes all giddy, like a little girl,
doing pirouettes around the bike and running back to hold your face in her hands and cry and kiss you. The kids are awestruck. They had no idea that
you possessed the power and skill to do something like this. One of them says, "Dad, is that really a motorcycle?" "Yes, son. It is," you respond.
"Wow," he says. The other one tells your wife that it's probably just a dream, and that she shouldn't be sad if the bike isn't there when she wakes
up.
7. You feel a unique sense of calm and well-being envelop you, like a warm breeze. Everything has worked out perfectly, as you had planned it, not a
single detail missed or out of place. Simply put, You Are The Man. The master of your universe. You have not felt this good in years.
8. Your wife, the love of your life, puts on all of her gear, and you walk her gently but knowingly through the features of the bike. She trembles
with excitement and anticipation. You turn on the ignition, open the gas valve, switch on the choke, and, then with a flourish, you flick out the
kick start lever. She looks down at it and says . . .
"What, you didn't get one with an electric start?"
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David K
Honored Nomad
Posts: 64488
Registered: 8-30-2002
Location: San Diego County
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Mood: Have Baja Fever
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Oh man... I think there is a good answer to that, but I am NOT going to say it!!!  
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comitan
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4177
Registered: 3-27-2004
Location: La Paz
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Mood: mellow
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David
That answer could have come from a Man or woman.
Strive For The Ideal, But Deal With What\'s Real.
Every day is a new day, better than the day before.(from some song)
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
“The sincere pursuit of truth requires you to entertain the possibility that everything you believe to be true may in fact be false”
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Diver
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4729
Registered: 11-15-2004
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Thanks DanO. I love it !
For my wife it was a new mountain bike - she went wild with tears and joy; then questioned the color and seat style.T hing cost so much it should have
had a motor !!
Wanna ask me how many times it's been riden ??
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bajaden
Nomad
Posts: 496
Registered: 4-7-2005
Location: Ensenada
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Mood: vicarious
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Careful David. You don't want the wrath of every wonderful, insiteful, sensitive female on this board to come down on you, do you. Man, I covered my
butt. Which, I might add has been chewed on so badly over the years, that there hardly anything left, thanks to all the...... Im sorry, I lost
control.......... Good night Gracie.......
At a feast of egos, everyone leave\'s hungry...
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Paulina
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3810
Registered: 8-31-2002
Location: BCN
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quote[...I covered my butt. Which, I might add has been chewed on so badly over the years, that there hardly anything left), ...
Another quote from one of my favorite songs..."It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chewed your ars out all day loooonnng."
Good story. Cool wife. Cool husband. Electric start? She should have known better. She was only kidding, right?
[Edited on 12-10-2005 by Paulina]sorry for all the edits, but it must not be smut monday as the proper word for the backside just wouldn't post as I
typed it! :moon:
[Edited on 12-10-2005 by Paulina]
\"Well behaved women rarely make history.\" Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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Santiago
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3499
Registered: 8-27-2003
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You guys are kidding, right???? If I bought my wife a dirtbike for her birthday I'ld get quite a reaction too.........
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bajaden
Nomad
Posts: 496
Registered: 4-7-2005
Location: Ensenada
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Mood: vicarious
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Everybodys different. My wife wanted a router for her birthday. In fun, I got her a sears catalog instead. Big big mistake. Now she wants a table saw.
At a feast of egos, everyone leave\'s hungry...
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Sharksbaja
Elite Nomad
Posts: 5814
Registered: 9-7-2004
Location: Newport, Mulege B.C.S.
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| Quote: | Originally posted by bajaden
Everybodys different. My wife wanted a router for her birthday. In fun, I got her a sears catalog instead. Big big mistake. Now she wants a table saw.
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I'd like to meet her. Does she do cabinets?
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vandenberg
Elite Nomad
Posts: 5118
Registered: 6-21-2005
Location: Nopolo
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Mood: mellow
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Bajaden
Was that a router for the computer or the kind with which she can carve her initials in your ass? 
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