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TMW
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Location: Bakersfield, CA
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Speeding Ticket in Baja
Interesting story by a pit crew member.
It was June, 2004 and we were planning on helping out Baja Jones? neighbor
Tim at a Mag 7 pit near Mikes Sky ranch for the Baja 500. The plan was for
the four of us to head east from Tecate and hit the Compadre Trail for a
little dirt in the GSB Bronco over to Ojos, hit the Hiway, a little more
dirt and then make our way to the proposed pit location below Mikes. As we
were pulling the grade out of Tecate on the toll road the plan changed
rather abruptly. A loss of power and metallic banging noise said something
had just gone wrong under the hood. CRAP! The hood went up and at idle
there appeared nothing a-miss. However, at increased RPM the knocking under
one of the valve covers was a problem.
Well as all of you know that travel Baja, it doesn?t take long when one of
us high and mighty Gringos is in trouble that a local is sure to stop and
ask us if they might be of assistance. This time was no exception. Maybe
10 minutes had gone by when a smiling local in a little Toyota truck worth
less than a couple of my wheels and tires stopped. A decision was quickly
made as to whether we were going to stay 15 miles out of town or get back
down the hill somehow. I took a ride with our amigo to El Longo and two
equally helpful Senoras in the little market helped me to get a tow truck on
the way.
Fast forward to being dropped in the Payless shoe parking lot on the US side
in Tecate by a great tow truck driver and his nephew who wanted way less
than should have been expected for the tow. Also an understanding border
guard who let us tow across after a quick pass, tow truck and Bronco through
the X-ray machine. The problem, a broken rocker arm stud. The rocker arm
had neatly fallen over on its side and the lifter was tapping on the valve
cover. Hey! I can fix this. A walk into town and yeah, a race enthusiast
auto parts owner, nice guy amigo and a little wrenching and we are under
way. We decide to still try and make the pit with a few hours of daylight
left.
We take pavement south to Ensenada and head out Mex 3 towards Ojos. I?m
trying to make time so I?m doing my usual game of passing / chicken, which
by the way my wife hates. I should rein it in a little as I tend to push it
a little from time to time, but anyway. So we have a good 2 miles of road
in sight, at dusk, with headlights on and three to pass on a long downhill
right hander and then uphill grade beyond the curve. I can get all three
which I easily do and the GSB Bronco is purring along at 70 mph up the grade
as we move safely back into our lane. And then?.we pass a little notch
along the side of the road. I look over at Gidget and say ?don?t even tell
me? as she cranes her neck around. I got another corner to look at so I don
?t get to take a look in the rear view as she says ?red light?! CRAP!
Well, I know I?m busted so I pull out at the next turn out and get out. The
Federal cop pulls in behind us and pops out of his shiny new Mopar cruiser
with a spring and a smile and in perfect English says ?Oh my friend, my
friend, you crazy gringos and your fancy trucks?. You all drive so fast!
Passing on a solid line, speeding, what am I going to do with you? How fast
were you going? I answer, 70. ?Yes, I thought that also? he answered.
?So?you know I will be giving you a ticket?. He asks for my DL and REG and
tells me to walk to his car with him. He gets out the ticket book and logs
onto a little computer consol mounted on the dashboard. He seems to enjoy
me checking out the cruiser. It seems to be fully modern and equipped like
ours in the states. He explains to me that he is taking my DL and that the
ticket will now be my DL while in Mex. I want to state here, and all my
family and close friends know that I DO NOT ever pay mordida ( bribes) in
Mexico. I have and will stand and argue for hours (it helps to speak the
language folks) and have either paid a deserved ticket at the station, or
wore them down to where they realize they could have made 3 bribe stops from
some other saps in the time they just wasted with me. This guy however, was
totally legit and professional.
Now things get interesting. The cop explains to me that I can retrieve my
DL and pay the fine on M, W, F, in Ensenada. I whine that I don?t want to
come all the way back down to Ensenada. ?Well, where do you want to come
for it?? he asks a little put off. I ask what are my choices? As I right
this I can see why we Americans are sometimes disliked elsewhere in the
world. Anyway..he lists off Tijuana, Tecate, Mexicali. ?Tijuana?! I say and
he shoots back in like form ?what day?? ?Monday? is my answer and he
finishes filling out the ticket. He then tells me the fine will be $42.00
US, gives me my copy and explains that he could have written me up for way
more than speeding, tells me to stop driving like an idiot, smiles and
shakes my hand, and splits. I walk back to GSB almost thinking that was
cool, except I don?t have my DL anymore and it will be floating around in
Baja forever.
Well we never make the pit job and end up playing spectators between Ojos
and Tres Hermanos and head home. I?m giving a Baja report to Jones, Sunday
evening, and after relating the ticket story to him, the first question he
has is ?why would you go back for your DL?? ?You can get a dupe at the DMV
for fifteen bucks?. ?I don?t know, Stu, I think I should go get it?. ?He
had a little computer and never even came close to hitting me for mordida?.
?That computer wasn?t even hooked up, it?s a phony, no wires in the back?
Stu blares. ?How much will it cost you in lost wages for a half day missed,
plus they are going to take you to the cleaners when they see you WANT your
DL back?? ?It?s a no brainer?! ?I don?t know, I got this feeling I should
go down?. We sign off and Jones is probably asking himself, what? is he
new???
Monday comes and yes I am headed for the border. I got no idea where I need
to go, so I park and walk across to get a taxi. As I walk into the taxi
coral, I?m hustled by 10 drivers that all look totally peeed off at me. In
the background though, in the loudest Hawaiian print shirt you have ever
seen and a voice to match this guy is saying to me, ?don?t hire any of these
grouchy putos my fren, I will take joo?. This guy is Cheech Marin,
mustache, walk, voice, and as a former heavy pot smoker, he?s my guy. He
asks where I?m going and I pull the ticket out of my pocket. ?Oh my fren,
joo bean bad?? ?Lets see dees ticket?. ?Oh no, federales?! he says. I can
take joo to the places, but I don?t go in station, dey know me? he winks.
We?re in his taxi now and he?s got the tapestry hanging across the
windshield and enough cherry car freshener going to catch a buzz. As we
start to leave, Toni is explaining to me that we need to go to the Municipal
Palace in El Rio to pay the ticket and then up to the airport to the hated
Federal Police station to retrieve my DL. He can tell I?m overwhelmed by
the air freshener and tells me smiling ?I deeg cheris mang?. ?So hey whats
your name mang?? ?I?m Antonio, joo can call me Tonee mang?. I tell him I?m
Guillermo. ?Oh Belee, he says?. Actually I go by Will and he responds
?ride on mang, its Memo den?. ?So Memo, do you like to do biagara Mang?? I
?m running this through what?s left of my long term memory of my druggy days
to try and think of some slang for something when he says ?joo know BIAGARA?
and gives the internationally recognized hand symbol for a hard on. I?m
just going what!! ?Oh jea mang, I do biagara almost ebery fryday night and
cruise for cheeks and the clubs?. I?m just laughing now and I ask, ?you
mean you take Viagra and then go out to pick someone up after wards?? ?What
if you don?t find someone?? He laughs, ?not much sleepe and alota? and he
gives the internationally recognized hand symbol for?..
Thankfully we arrive at the Municipal Palace and Toni finds the most illegal
spot he can to park in and we go in. He shows me to a department window and
I hand the gal my ticket. She looks it over and makes an entry on her
computer keyboard. She looks puzzled, I?m thinking, no, don?t look like
that. She looks up and tells me there?s a problem. OK, here we go, maybe
Stu was right and this won?t be the last time I tell myself this today
either. I?m informed ever so nicely that there is no fine amount on the
ticket, so she doesn?t know how much to charge me. I will have to go to the
Federal Police station to get that info. But you have a computer I whine.
?Sorry the computers are not connected with each other? she tells me. Where
have I heard that before, I ask myself as I turn to leave. Toni says ?oh my
fren, this could be trouble?.
Soooo up the hill we go to the cop station and I?m glad to say that Toni is
getting nervous too, although for different reasons for sure. We arrive and
he takes a painfully long time parking extremely accurately in the furthest
space away from the building, and slumps down in his seat. ?Good luck mang?
. I walk into the station to find a big glass wall with several walkup
lines formed and a dozen or so people in line. I?m the only gringo. When
my turn comes I slide my ticket through the pass through and the clerk on
the other side eyes me up and down and then looks at the ticket. He slides
it back through and tells me in Spanish that I have to go to the Municipal
Palace and pay first. I explain my trip there to him and slide it back
through. He flips it over and tells me to ?wait?. So while I wait, I?m
looking through the glass and I see way too many big, swarthy, cowboy hated,
pistol wearing, mean looking federales to feel ever remotely smart at this
point. I should have listened to Stu.
Now my guy is back in view and he is having a lively conversation with a big
black fumanchu mustachioed, black cowboy hat, not happy looking guy. My guy
goes to a big file drawer and searches files and pulls one. There is a
paper and clearly a DL clipped to it. Hey what do you know?, I think. Then
he goes to this big tilted desk and opens this three foot square ledger and
starts turning pages, stops at one, scans down the page, stops and marks out
a line with a marker and ruler. Then the two of them head towards me. Butt
pucker factor is at maximum! Mr. happy steps up to the window and something
really strange happens. His permanent scowl turns into this big toothy
smile and in pretty good English says, ?so my fren you were espeeding??
Yes. He explains that for some reason the officer neglected to put the code
on the ticket for how much the fine was. He goes on to tell me how pleased
they are that a gringo such as myself would bother to come down and take
care of the fine which will save them a really big problem (payday, my
thought) in the future. The fine amount is $82.00 US. So, I think for sure
a hold up but less than the $100 ceiling I had set before I would be peeed.
He breaks my thought as he continues, that since I have returned within 15
days of the violation, I am entitled to a 50% discount and the fine is
$41.30 US. Well I?ll be!! Now I get to go back to the Municipal Palace to
pay the fine, get the traditional very loudly applied big red rubber stamps
all over both sides and all four edges of the ticket. Back to the cop
station to show said stamps, for more stamping and my DL retrieval. A wave
goodbye to my new found federally friend and the DL is in hand.
I?m not in the computer that wasn?t hooked up, in the file cabinet or the
big ledger at the Federal Police Station. Total cost for the day with wage
lost, fine and taxi close to $250.
Memories and the ensuing phone call to Jones, priceless
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Baja Bernie
`Normal` Nomad Correspondent
Posts: 2962
Registered: 8-31-2003
Location: Sunset Beach
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TW
Most interesting story, well written, and priceless!
My smidgen of a claim to fame is that I have had so many really good friends. By Bernie Swaim December 2007
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Sallysouth
Super Nomad
Posts: 1835
Registered: 10-9-2003
Location: Capo Beach
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Mood: missing Baja...
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Very nicely written TW!! Great story for a cold Saturday morning.I loved your taxi driver, could picture him perfectly.
Happiness is just a Baja memory away...
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wornout
Senior Nomad
Posts: 595
Registered: 10-24-2004
Location: San Felipe, Baja California
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The reason we who live here pay the cop, on the spot, is the money goes back into the local economy (the cop gets to take his family out to dinner)
and the advertising they get at all campfires for us telling the story of how we got off so cheap is priceless. Believe me, a lot more people know
about the $20 speeding ticket I got in Mexicali than they do about the $100 speeding ticket I got in Nevada.
The $42 you paid went to Mexico City and now some corrupt politician is enjoying a dinner.
This Space Available, E-Mail Me If Interested.
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lizard lips
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GREAT STORY TW!
Wornout, speak for yourself. I have lived here for 18 years and have never paid a cop off and I have been pulled over plenty of times. Wont do
it---never will!
The cop gets to take his family out to dinner---and if you pay the ticket the money goes to a corrupt politician in DF---GET A GRIP MY
FRIEND..............
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Natalie Ann
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Registered: 8-22-2003
Location: Berkeley
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What a great read on a rainy Saturday afternoon... Bravo!
Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.
.....Oscar Wilde
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DanO
Super Nomad
Posts: 1923
Registered: 8-26-2003
Location: Not far from the Pacific
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TW, that is an awesome story. It sounds a little like my last trip to the DMV to register a motorcycle. It went something like this --
DMV: "You can't register the bike because you don't have the motorcyle DL."
Me: "OK, sign me up for the DL."
DMV: "I can't. That's another window and you don't have an appointment. Even if you did, you need to have the bike here and take the driving test.
You also need proof of insurance to register it."
Me: "But my carrier says it won't issue a policy unless I get the license first."
DMV: "They'll issue you the license without the insurance. Then you can show the license and get the insurance and register the bike."
Me: "So you're telling me to drive an unregistered and uninsured bike down here, in violation of at least two laws, then get the license, then go get
the insurance, and the come back here again for another couple of hours to register the bike? That doesn't sound too efficient to me."
DMV: "Well, it doesn't matter anyway, because you can't renew the registration until June and it's March now."
Me, pausing while the pounding in my head subsides, and then quietly: "Fine, I've just decided to sell the bike, which is less trouble than all of
this. Thanks for your help, I think."
DMV: "OK, but good luck selling a bike that hasn't been registered for 5 years. The registration fees and penalties are probably more than it's
worth."
Me: "AAAARGGGH!"
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A-OK
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Location: San Diego
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Great story TW.
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Roberto
Banned
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Registered: 9-5-2003
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| Quote: | Originally posted by wornout
The reason we who live here pay the cop, on the spot, is the money goes back into the local economy (the cop gets to take his family out to dinner)
and the advertising they get at all campfires for us telling the story of how we got off so cheap is priceless. Believe me, a lot more people know
about the $20 speeding ticket I got in Mexicali than they do about the $100 speeding ticket I got in Nevada.
The $42 you paid went to Mexico City and now some corrupt politician is enjoying a dinner. |
That's a bunch of BS - what you're doing is making life easier on yourself and perpetuating the system, plain and simple.
The cops who take mordida are crooks, and predators. $20 to most gringos is nothing, but a whole different story to most locals.
[Edited on 12-18-2005 by Roberto]
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Fatboy
Senior Nomad
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Great story! Thanks for taking us along with you via your post!!! 
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wornout
Senior Nomad
Posts: 595
Registered: 10-24-2004
Location: San Felipe, Baja California
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Roberto
| Quote: | Originally posted by wornout
The reason we who live here pay the cop, on the spot, is the money goes back into the local economy (the cop gets to take his family out to dinner)
and the advertising they get at all campfires for us telling the story of how we got off so cheap is priceless. Believe me, a lot more people know
about the $20 speeding ticket I got in Mexicali than they do about the $100 speeding ticket I got in Nevada.
The $42 you paid went to Mexico City and now some corrupt politician is enjoying a dinner. |
... what you're doing is making life easier on yourself and perpetuating the system, plain and simple.
[Edited on 12-18-2005 by Roberto] |
Well, it is THEIR system and THEIR country. I am not another foreigner who came here to try and change it. I like, and have liked, living here for
the last 7 years.
This Space Available, E-Mail Me If Interested.
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Roberto
Banned
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| Quote: | Originally posted by wornout
Well, it is THEIR system and THEIR country. I am not another foreigner who came here to try and change it. I like, and have liked, living here for
the last 7 years. |
I don't want to get into too long a "debate" over this, so I'll just ask one more question and leave it at that.
Do you think this is a "system" the people of Mexico have chosen? Or maybe just abuse from those who can toward those who can't? Long story there,
right?
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Oso
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 2637
Registered: 8-29-2003
Location: on da border
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Roberto
| Quote: | Originally posted by wornout
Well, it is THEIR system and THEIR country. I am not another foreigner who came here to try and change it. I like, and have liked, living here for
the last 7 years. |
I don't want to get into too long a "debate" over this, so I'll just ask one more question and leave it at that.
Do you think this is a "system" the people of Mexico have chosen? Or maybe just abuse from those who can toward those who can't? Long story there,
right? |
It has often been said of the PRI that they stayed in power 72 years by establishing a system of "institutionalized corruption". That is, rather than
the random corruption of dishonest individuals, there was (is) a structured, organized hierarchy in which bribery is necessary to obtain positions in
which bribery is demanded in exchange for services and tribute, a percentage of the bribes, is passed upwards. This is, indeed, a system. It is not
logical to assume such a system could be "chosen" by the people forced to pay the bribes. They simply became resigned to it , for the most part,
because it was "the system" and there seemed to be no practical alternative. Fox was supposed to change that. He may have tried, but with a
"congress" still largely controlled by the PRI, his success has been very limited.
[Edited on 12-18-2005 by Oso]
All my childhood I wanted to be older. Now I\'m older and this chitn sucks.
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Baja Bernie
`Normal` Nomad Correspondent
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Oso
Do you suppose that Fox might have had a chance to succeed if he had tossed the required mordida to the members of Congress.
But then, that would have made him an even larger failure--NO!
My smidgen of a claim to fame is that I have had so many really good friends. By Bernie Swaim December 2007
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Oso
Ultra Nomad
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Registered: 8-29-2003
Location: on da border
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Baja Bernie
Do you suppose that Fox might have had a chance to succeed if he had tossed the required mordida to the members of Congress.
But then, that would have made him an even larger failure--NO! |
Eggs-ackly. Success at what? Changing the system? No, he would simply have become part of it. Some say he did. The one man from within the PRI
who spoke most strongly about abandoning "business as usual", was Colosio. And you know what happened to him...
As we near the end of the sexenio, the question "Are things any better?" will come up often. I recently asked it of a teacher in the Sonoran state
adult education system. She felt that things were indeed better...in the field of education. She wasn't too sure about anything else.
All my childhood I wanted to be older. Now I\'m older and this chitn sucks.
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wornout
Senior Nomad
Posts: 595
Registered: 10-24-2004
Location: San Felipe, Baja California
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Oso
It has often been said of the PRI that they stayed in power 72 years by establishing a system of "instutionalized corruption". That is, rather than
the random corruption of dishonest individuals, there was (is) a structured, organized hierarchy in which bribery is necessary to obtain positions in
which bribery is demanded in exchange for services and tribute, a percentage of the bribes, is passed upwards. This is, indeed, a system. It is not
logical to assume such a system could be "chosen" by the people forced to pay the bribes. They simply became resigned to it , for the most part,
because it was "the system" and there seemed to be no practical alternative. Fox was supposed to change that. He may have tried, but with a
"congress" still largely controlled by the PRI, his success has been very limited. |
Oso: Very well put, thank you. All I was trying to say in my original post is it is a 'system' (good or bad), and by doing so I was told to "Get a
grip' and 'That's a bunch of BS". I appreciate your view and response, and Baja Bernie's too, without personal attack!
This Space Available, E-Mail Me If Interested.
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Mexray
Super Nomad
Posts: 1016
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The 'bite' easily takes on a life of it's own...
...I can remember years ago, in the Off-Highway equipment business, when we sold a couple machines to a mining operation in the phillipines...
We had to pay a 'commission' (bite) to the issuing buyer's agent for the privilege to quote!
We had to pay the actual buyer a 'commission' (bite) when the Purchase order was issued.
We had to pay the Captain of the vessel transporting the equipment a 'commission' (bite) to see that everything was packed aboard properly.
We had to pay the Port Captain in the off-loading port a commission' (bite) to see that the equipment was not damaged by their stevedores.
We had to pay a 'commission' (bite) to complete the Import paperwork at the port of entry - in addition to the actual 'Import Fee'.
We had to pay the trucking company a 'commission' (bite) to see that the equipment reached the mine in good shape.
We had to pay the Mayor of the local village a 'commission' (bite) to allow the trucking company to use their roads for transport of the equipment.
We had to pay the mining company's foreman a 'commission. (bite) to allot us room in their shop to assemble the equipment.
I'm sure there were several other 'commissions' that were required to do business in the Phillipines...we had to add all these 'commissions' to the
cost of the actual equipment, to arrive at a 'true' cost of the machines. These needed 'commissions' can raise the costs of products beyond belief -
but they keep the economy moving!
If you wish to do business in a 3rd world country - don't overlook the cost of all the 'commissions' required to do business!
According to my clock...anytime is \'BAJA TIME\' & as Jimmy Buffett says,
\"It doesn\'t use numbers or moving hands It always just says now...\"
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bajalou
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Mexray, I have always felt that the way you describe is more honest than much is done in the US - campaign contibutions, hire a brother-in-law,
donate a plot of land to the city - on and on. At least the bite can be forseen and budgeted for.
No Bad Days
\"Never argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell the difference\"
\"The trouble with doing nothing is - how do I know when I\'m done?\"
Nomad Baja Interactive map
And in the San Felipe area - check out Valle Chico area |
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Oso
Ultra Nomad
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Location: on da border
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Let's not lose sight of the fact that what we're talking about is corruption and corruption is a synonym for rot and decay. It is ultimately harmful
to society and exists only because people feel they are powerless to stop it, something the corrupt count on. They are sometimes wrong when the
people decide they have had enough. True, it is a fact of life in most of the third world and there are situations in which we must go along to get
along if we want to "do bidness". But when we CAN fight it, we should. Some, if not all, elements of Mexican society are struggling to overcome this
sickness. We should help when we can.
The Phillipines is one of the few countries in the world considered to have a worse postal system than Mexico. In my younger naive days, and in my
nacent Spanish, I once tried to see about receiving mail at the main post office in downtown Mexico City. The helpful clerk informed me that general
delivery service was not always entirely secure but that he could "watch out" for my mail and see that it was set aside for me. With a smile of pure
innocence, I said that would be very nice, thanked him and turned to leave. As I did, I heard him say to a colleague, "Se esta haciendose pendejo ese
buey". I never got any mail there. Another time I made the mistake of trying to send a few bucks to my brother-in-law for his birthday without
tipping the clerk at Telegrafos de Mexico. Of course he never got it and tracing it was useless. The "funniest" time was when I actually got package
in the mail. I had interpreted between some tourists and the police on Cozumel and helped resolve their situation. They were grateful and wanted to
compensate me for my time but short on cash and needing to catch their plane. They mentioned they owned a small store in the states and would send me
something. I told them not to worry about it and promptly forgot it. But, lo and behold, about a month later a very light package arrived for me in
the mail. Inside was a nice black simulated leather carrying case for a transistor radio. No radio, just the case. I wondered why the P.O.
bothered.
All my childhood I wanted to be older. Now I\'m older and this chitn sucks.
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Paulina
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TW,
What a great experience, thanks for sharing. I loved the way I could "see" what was happening to you through your writing style. It's a pain in the
butt sometimes to follow the rules, but it's worth it in the long run.
P<*)))><
\"Well behaved women rarely make history.\" Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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