Baja Bernie
`Normal` Nomad Correspondent
Posts: 2962
Registered: 8-31-2003
Location: Sunset Beach
Member Is Offline
Mood: Just dancing through life
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JR Palmer
Sadly, there are many of you who never had the pleasure/pain of knowing this Baja Man.
I wrote this thing right after he passed from us and have waited until his whole family have received my story. That happened today when his brother,
at last, contacted me. I had sent it to his lady, Carol months ago and she responded that I truly understood JR and that I had pegged him in this
small story.
Many of you have commented about him even to this day.
Please read and understand!
Salud JR
A Distant Drummer
JR Palmer
I have known a ton of people who have settled here in Baja. These folks are very different than those who come down to spend a few days or even a
few weeks at a time.
Some, mostly middle aged men, were pulled into Baja by the climate, the great fishing, cheap living, free flowing booze and other delights. Others
were pushed over the border by divorces, arrest warrants, failure to pay child support/alimony or other more anti-social behavior. Very few of them
were ever politically correct.
A lot of the guys came to hide from themselves. These are the unshaven, hollow cheeked guys, who?because of healthy retirement checks?ruined their
health by beginning to drink, and it ain?t orange juice, as soon as their feet hit the floor in the morning. These are the guys I call evaders;
basically good guys who were productive members of society who have just given up on life. Yes, there are a few women in this group.
Usually when you find a husband and wife team, those people who are chasing a dream and are both involved in a fairly small but successful business,
you will more often than not find that the woman is the stronger of the two and that the guy drinks far more than is good for the business.
Interestingly, I have only met one (1) man in Baja who has never touched an alcoholic drink in his life?and that over 40 years. I have had a lot of
acquaintances who frequented the ?AA? meetings that can be found wherever a few gringos have set down roots.
Many young to middle aged guys and gals wandered down here and found that the local cops don?t bother gringos even if they are using drugs as long as
they basically stay in their ?own? areas. It became party time all of the time with these people. A few of these, usually the younger ones, would
really mess up and start dealing to the Mexicans to support their own habits. This was dumber than dumb and a quick way to never get older. If the
cops didn?t get them then the Mexican gangs would.
One thing always stood out?the women knew exactly what they wanted in Baja and were not shy about grabbing it. Some of the guys still knew what they
would like to have but many had lost the desire or drive to reach out for it.
I guess what I have been trying to say up to this point is that everyone who settles in Baja does in fact march to a different or distinctive drummer.
So in this round about way, we have come to our late friend JR Palmer?aka Ski Baja, JR Baja, or Jim or Jay. Many people never met the guy in real
life but suffered a real and painful loss when they heard of his passing. If you based your knowing of this man from his postings on the Nomad Forum
you just might guess that one of his gears was put in backwards. You would see a guy that was way larger than life. A guy who could, and did, stir
the pot and make it boil by breathing angry flames on it. A man who thrived on conflict.
You would see him slashing out at anyone and everyone who, in his mind, did not really understand or care about Baja or it?s people ?according? to JR.
Heck, he even nipped at me a few times when he felt that I needed a little re-direction. We shared many of the same thoughts and values about Baja,
it?s people and the crazy gringos who closed themselves off from the Mexicans by living behind walls and who couldn?t care less about the ?humans? or
their culture. JR was always talking about the ?humans? and you could rest assured that he was not including most gringos in that grouping.
He held up a thousand mirrors that allowed (no?required) people to see themselves as they wished to be. The harsh and bitter person could peer into a
mirror and find a companion in JR, a guy who shared his bitterness towards life. Another who needed love, compassion and a soothing hand would easily
see these things reflected in JR. Others would be challenged and offended when he held up a mirror and they saw a person they really did not wish to
know. They would see JR peering out at them and it was obvious that he had very little use for them.
As with most people who believe that that they have been ?called??and he certainly did?there is seldom much if any middle ground. One person called
him a prophet. I would never go that far in describing my friend.
Those few of us who really had met JR were not surprised that he was not a giant of a man. In fact, he was rather on the frail or even on the
delicate side. His large mustache mostly hid the smile that came often to his face. If you watched closely you would notice that the smile often
failed to reach his eyes.
When I looked into his calm eyes I saw a man who had been deeply hurt in his life?and who had badly hurt others. A man who did not allow many people
to see who he really was or to get very close to him. Listening and watching closely I found a guy who had more than a passing knowledge of the drug
scene. I always had the sense that this was earlier in his life because one of his major missions in Baja Sur was to help and provide jobs in rural
areas so the kids wouldn?t get strung out on drugs. I saw a man who was a heavily conflicted ?human.? During his later years he constantly reached
out to help those ?humans,? usually poorer Mexicans. He tried valiantly to help them find a better life.
Here was a southern gentleman, who drew people into himself. He totally enjoyed a laid back discussion about almost anything?but mostly about ?his?
Baja. His self deprecating little laugh was used in place of a period in his conversations. A real nice easy going ?human.?
More than anything his pictures of Baja, which were always framed with much love and understanding, displayed a wonderful grasp of the land that he
loved. He did not focus in on the harsh and hot lands of Baja. No! They were normally filled with scenes of high and cool vistas or hidden oasis of
greens and blues with refreshing waters. One of his pictures says more than a book could about the man who shot it. It is taken from the inside a
cave looking out and down, dark to light, and focused on a beautiful green and fragrant little valley with a slowly flowing little stream meandering
at the bottom. These were the scenes that only JR seemed to be able to find and capture in ?his? Baja.
Let me stop here and insert a tribute by a man that JR named as his ?friend? with the full understanding of what that word really meant:
?A Nomad [Baja Nomad.com] for whom I have tremendous respect once gave me some of the most wise advice that I have ever received. He told me that he
did not place so much stock in what people wrote but was more concerned with face to face meetings with people so that you could actually look into
their eyes and see what makes them smile. That, he told me, would tell you what is REALLY important to a person and would speak volumes about that
individual?s character. He made an assessment of JR back then based on this model that, in my mind, was 100% accurate. In fact, he so eloquently put
into words what I had already learned about JR. His quote in a post once directed at JR:
?SOME ARE ALWAYS ASKING YOU TO LIGHTEN UP! But let me say that I believe that men and women of passion are somehow unable to ?lighten up.? They just
care too much and see far too much.
Stay as you are my friend!?
He had obviously looked into JR?s eyes and seen what made him smile. Bottom line is that I have never met a more caring and compassionate ?human? (to
coin his favorite term). He was so passionate and straightforward in his feelings and beliefs, however, that there was no room in his mindset for
being PC to spare anyone?s feelings. At the same time, though, this was the beauty of Mr. Palmer. He was a true WYSIWYG (what you see is what you
get) because he did not mince words even if he was not choosing the kindest of them. We all know, however, that actions speak louder than words. And
the overwhelming majority of his actions conveyed more kindness to those who knew him than most of us could ever imagine.
I met JR after the devastating hurricane season of 2003. I emailed him as a complete stranger, not even a registered Nomad at the time; merely a long
time lurker from there and Amigos [defunct website] before. I asked him for suggestions on where I could go and what I could do to help. He directed
me to some small mountain villages and communities where I have since made friends who are like family to me now. I thanked him for his help in
providing me with such a rewarding experience and he subsequently invited me to stop by and visit. I did so bearing, naturally, even more donations
for his next trip down south. We hit it off instantly. We shared many common passions and had a strikingly similar outlook on life in general.
We traveled together shortly thereafter and what a blast that was. He was an incredibly skilled (and crazy) off-road driver. We explored remote
nooks and cranny?s of the peninsula, shared a wild ?confluence point? hiking adventure and met and spent time with many more wonderful people along
the way just by being ?human.? We have stayed in touch ever since and I visited him on a regular basis. He became a dear friend and was truly loved
by myself and my family.
It has been said, at times, that he was self-promoting. Ha! Nothing could be further from the truth. A self-promoting person would have been far
more concerned about his public image. He had a story, a message and a vision that he was determined to share with the world. He wanted to challenge
people to look at things differently and he didn?t give a damn what people thought about him as an individual as long as the message was heard. He
saw himself as merely the messenger. And, as we all know, a devoted one.
There were some who proclaimed pity for the man because he must have been miserable and lonely. Not so. Those who have had the pleasure of meeting
her know that his soul-mate Carol is one of life?s truly special people. They shared a wonderful kind of love with each other that most people never
find. She tolerated him, tamed him, encouraged him, nurtured him, reigned him in and at times just shook her head and let him run wild. He in turn
knew what he had and cherished her as only he could. She was right there by his side to the very end. He could not have been more loved. And he
deserved it. They were beautiful to watch together.
When I went to San Bartolo to visit him just before summer this year, I ended up having to bring him and his dogs back north as his health really
began to take a turn for the worse. I watched how he handled the onset of his impending physical demise with a grace that I could not even begin to
imagine. Always smiling when I saw him and leaning forward to embrace me with little more than his shoulders as his arms were increasingly unable to
move.
In the last message I received from him, he asked about making a ?couple more trips down south while I still can.? Well it didn?t happen before your
death, my friend, but you still can. Because I will carry you with me in warm memories everywhere I go. Down south, up north and anywhere else on
the planet.?
I need to stop here and salute the ?human? that wrote this tribute to JR:
?You, sir, are a man who walks straight and tall and makes this world a far better place as you stride through with friends like Mr. Palmer in your
heart. Would that I had a friend such as you.?
Many people expressed condolences at JR?s passing and one of them stood as a reflection of just who JR really was.
JR my friend I salute you
?Like others of his friends I was aware of some of the problems that JR faced over the past year or more. Hell! I was called a hypocrite by more
that one member of this board when I disagreed, in a very forcible manner, with his attacks on some of the members of this board. I visited him a few
weeks before I posted this disagreement even knowing that he was very sick. Yes, he and I shared a lot! I must tell you that the absolutely the
worst thing that you could wish for this Baja warrior is that he rest in peace.
Hell, no! He could never deal with that. Lashing out right and left was his style and what made him a darling of this board.
JR, know that you have not lost this old guy?s friendship and keep pulling the devil?s tail.
I missed you even before your were gone.?
I guess you can now understand how a guy who would take the handle ?Ski Baja? really did march to a totally different drummer.
JR was a friend. . . .a foe. . . .and fun to know!
NO! This story will not be in my new book--it is only laid out here for fellow Baja Nomads to share.
My smidgen of a claim to fame is that I have had so many really good friends. By Bernie Swaim December 2007
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CaboMagic
Super Nomad
Posts: 1103
Registered: 4-30-2005
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Beautiful Bernie ... thank you ...
Kind regards to JR's family .. hope as time passes there is room made for peace in the heart ...
L
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jerry
Super Nomad
Posts: 1354
Registered: 10-10-2003
Location: loreto
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wow bernie you said a lifefull well done
jerry and judi
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David K
Honored Nomad
Posts: 64490
Registered: 8-30-2002
Location: San Diego County
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Mood: Have Baja Fever
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Nice words Bernie... well said!
Remember the good Baja time we had at JR's place when Antonio and family treated us to a feast there as a way to meet?
Here is a photo Doug (Baja Nomad) took showing JR and I having a chat and you (sitting by me on your van) chatting with Antonio and his dad (Antonio
Sr.)
More photos at JR and Carol's home that day: http://vivabaja.com/bajacactus
[Edited on 8-2-2006 by David K]
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thebajarunner
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3687
Registered: 9-8-2003
Location: Arizona....."Free at last from crumbling Cali
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Mood: muy amable
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Nice words Bernie!
In the midst of one of his real cranky periods, where I took him on a bit in print....
well, the old curmudgeon turned me on to the Agua Viva Orphanage in Maneadero, and we have been visiting that special place since then.
When I introduced myself the first time they smiled and simply said, "JR sent you, yes?"
Interesting guy, a real Nomad
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Diver
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4729
Registered: 11-15-2004
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Thank you very nuch for sharing, Bernie.
All very well said.
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Mexitron
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3397
Registered: 9-21-2003
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
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Mood: Happy!
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What a great tribute Bernie. Well done. I never met JR but you've shed some light on what he was really like. You're a true friend of his.
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Sharksbaja
Elite Nomad
Posts: 5814
Registered: 9-7-2004
Location: Newport, Mulege B.C.S.
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A most meaningful post
as I've ever read here Bernie. You are a man of honorable intentions. I'm remiss at ever doubting your sincerity. Although I didn't understand all the
drug stuff about JR I understood all the "human" kindness he exemplefied. Kudos for your tribute.
JR.......you changed my life too.  I'll meet you in another forum
DON\'T SQUINT! Give yer eyes a break!
Try holding down [control] key and toggle the [+ and -] keys
Viva Mulege!
Nomads\' Sunsets
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Bob H
Elite Nomad
Posts: 5867
Registered: 8-19-2003
Location: San Diego
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"...a southern gentleman, who drew people into himself. He totally enjoyed a laid back discussion about almost anything?but mostly about ?his? Baja.
His self deprecating little laugh was used in place of a period in his conversations. A real nice easy going ?human.?"
This is exactly how I thought of JR the day I met him and shook his hand. Bernie, what a wonderful tribute to another wonderful person. He is really
missed. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Bob H
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Diver
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4729
Registered: 11-15-2004
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I hope Carol sees this post and is heartened.
Bob said it well, JR is really missed.
When he passed, many posts extolled JR's life and promised that he would be remembered; sounding like so many well-intentioned condolences with the
potential, as in so many cases to go unfilled.
This thread is confirmation that those well-intentioned condolences came from the hearts of many with respect and love that will continue to endure.
I think we will definitely visit at least one more mission or orphanage this year than normal. Maybe someone will ask us if JR sent us ?
.
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Cincodemayo
Senior Nomad
Posts: 725
Registered: 3-7-2005
Location: Pacific NW
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Click on this link and you will see what Bernie wrote is JR's dash....a very inspiring one at that!
http://www.thedashmovie.com
Don\'t get mad...
Get EVEN.
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Baja Bernie
`Normal` Nomad Correspondent
Posts: 2962
Registered: 8-31-2003
Location: Sunset Beach
Member Is Offline
Mood: Just dancing through life
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Cincodemayo
When I first read "The Dash," a couple of months ago, I immediately thought of JR.
I also hope that Carol somehow will see what you Nomad's have written here about her companion, lover, child, and friend.
Bajarunner brought forth the "magic"of JR when he wrote the comment about JR sending him to the orphanage
Perhaps someone out there has her email address.
I was also thinking of the Lady Nomad who recently lost her husband as I posted this.
[Edited on 8-2-2006 by Baja Bernie]
My smidgen of a claim to fame is that I have had so many really good friends. By Bernie Swaim December 2007
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Skydiver
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 8-4-2006
Location: Azusa, CA
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Bernie, You nailed it. I used to be on as DDurrell but had password problems re-registered as Skydiver. I talked to Carol yesterday. her
computer is down right now, but she is going to try and check out the thread ASAP. Looks like I might have to make a trip down and fix her
computer.
To all you Nomads who knew JR personally or just on the net, I think you'll agree, he was and is one of kind.
thanks for your thoughts.
Cousin Dave
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elgatoloco
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4323
Registered: 11-19-2002
Location: Yes
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Bernie, thanks for the post. I never met JR in person, wish I had.
MAGA
Making Attorneys Get Attorneys
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