Baja Bernie
`Normal` Nomad Correspondent
Posts: 2962
Registered: 8-31-2003
Location: Sunset Beach
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Mood: Just dancing through life
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Dirty Miguel
I have known Dirty Miguel for over 30 years and I have never known him to participate in what is commonly understood to be the activity of work. Once
I did see him lean on the handle of a shovel for an extended period of time. One of the working guys whispered something in his ear and he suddenly
dropped that shovel like it had turned into a hot poker. A few weeks later I asked him about this incident of almost work and he replied, “Trabajo es
no bueno por el alma” (work is no good for the soul) “Oh, Seńor Burnie, I almost committed a terrible sin—everybody knows that to work is not good for
the soul.” That was Miguel; he would do just about anything to avoid the stain of ‘honest’ labor.
Miguel did have a ‘regular’ job—really more like a position—as a gatekeeper at Campo Mariposa (butterfly). He was a true filosofo (philosopher) who
had gone beyond the needs of modern man. Or! Perhaps he had never acquired those needs that seem to afflict other, more common, people. He had no
need to bathe and rarely did so. Changing clothes was a far to involved endeavor to occupy his time. He has been known to wear the same clothes for
over a year. He might take his overskirt off if he got too warm. You immediately noticed the increased aroma and the fact that his undershirt was no
longer white, it had turned to a mottled earth color as a result of continual wear. His boots once black were scuffed beige with use. His beat up
old, plastic, kinda gray, cowboy hat never left his head unless it fell off or he went to bed.
Removing his hat was his idea of getting undressed. He got his hair cut almost every year and he shaved but rarely.
Miguel thought of himself as a regular “Don Juan.” He was always asking the women in the Cantina to dance. This normally happened just after he
became so drunk that he could hardly stand much less dance. He considered himself to be bi-lingual because he could say, “wanna buy me a drink.” He
proved his bi-lingual ability quite often. Miguel would remove his hat with a flourish as he asked the ladies, “Lady wanna dance.” You could not
help but notice the hay sticking out of his hair as he removed his hat.
Dirty Miguel was really a great guy and you could learn a lot from him—if the wind was just right—and you could get close enough to hear him. On a
weekend you could usually find him sleeping in the weeds just down the hill from the Cantina. He usually started waking up when he could no longer
avoid the glare of the sun shining in his face. Picture the sun and you will realize that this was just about noon!
Gus loved to tell the story of Miguel and one of his drinking buddies, he only had one at any given time, they just were unable to keep pace with him
when it came to the bottle. It seems that Miguel and his most recent friend had been drinking Tequila most of the night and found themselves lying in
tall weeds at daybreak. A rattlesnake was making its way across Miguel’s chest. Noticing the snake, his friend grabbed a half full bottle of Tequila
and started to club the snake to death. Miguel suddenly awoke, seized the bottle, and screamed, “Don’t do that! You’ll break the bottle.” At this
they both started laughing, rolling around, and fighting for the bottle. The snake wandered off after biting Miguel. Seeing this, his buddy, of the
moment; exclaimed, “We gotta get you to a doctor.” Taking a great slug of booze Miguel just laughed! They finished the bottle and passed out again.
No, he didn’t go to the doctors and he never seemed any worse off for the rattlesnake poison.
Apparently, one poison cancelled out the other.
My smidgen of a claim to fame is that I have had so many really good friends. By Bernie Swaim December 2007
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Bajagypsy
Super Nomad
Posts: 1416
Registered: 8-31-2006
Location: BahĂa Asuncion BCS
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Mood: Living the dream
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Miguel sounds like a real character, one of the type of people you can never forget!
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FARASHA
Senior Nomad
Posts: 848
Registered: 6-3-2006
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 good Boy - Miguel saved that Bottle!! Funny ! Thanks Bernie - quite inspiring!
Will have to reconsider my LIFESTYLE!! >f<
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DENNIS
Platinum Nomad
Posts: 29510
Registered: 9-2-2006
Location: Punta Banda
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Miguel was a regular Zorba The Mexican. My kind of man.
Thanks Bernie, keep'm coming.
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Sallysouth
Super Nomad
Posts: 1835
Registered: 10-9-2003
Location: Capo Beach
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Mood: missing Baja...
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Oh Bernie! Another one of your Classic Tales!! When I read your words, I can see who and what you are speaking of.Ya got the magic in your hand, and
in your mind ,my friend! Thank you once again....
Happiness is just a Baja memory away...
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Baja Bernie
`Normal` Nomad Correspondent
Posts: 2962
Registered: 8-31-2003
Location: Sunset Beach
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Mood: Just dancing through life
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All of your comments bring a smile to my face.
Thank you!
My smidgen of a claim to fame is that I have had so many really good friends. By Bernie Swaim December 2007
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Cypress
Elite Nomad
Posts: 7641
Registered: 3-12-2006
Location: on the bayou
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Mood: undecided
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We all have a dose of "Dirty Miguel" in us. The older we get, the more of
"Miguel" seem's to come forth. Thanks for the story Bernie.
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FARASHA
Senior Nomad
Posts: 848
Registered: 6-3-2006
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Cypress - does that mean you stop changing your clothing, and having a shower?
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Cypress
Elite Nomad
Posts: 7641
Registered: 3-12-2006
Location: on the bayou
Member Is Offline
Mood: undecided
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Farasha, Yes, every now and then.
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DENNIS
Platinum Nomad
Posts: 29510
Registered: 9-2-2006
Location: Punta Banda
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Caltrans could take a lesson from Miguel and stop leaning on the shovel.
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Packoderm
Super Nomad
Posts: 2116
Registered: 11-7-2002
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Bernie - my favorite one yet.
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Baja Bernie
`Normal` Nomad Correspondent
Posts: 2962
Registered: 8-31-2003
Location: Sunset Beach
Member Is Offline
Mood: Just dancing through life
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Pack
I believe that I understand that because for years my handle in Baja was “The Dirt Road Philosopher.”
It is a bit of a secret but once I have finished a book and put that baby to bed I never have gone back to re-read it. This posting of stuff I wrote
back in 2000 has forced me to do exactly that and in some ways………..I’ll catch heck for this………the same blocking of hurt and pain that women use to
mask the events leading up to the birth of a child is involved in birthing a book. I know, quite well, that it is not the same but it is the only
comparison a mere male may make. That is why I decided to edit and publish it myself……………I just could not abide a stranger messing with my baby. I
have felt that way about everything I write. It is mine, I created it and that is that.
When I revisited Miguel I almost decided not to include it because of the silly PC that dictates what is acceptable today. My love for the guy and
his philosophy is what decided it for me.
I know that, perhaps, I could have come up with a better product, but it was not a product that I wished to create. The only exception, aside from
my wife, was when the Roadrunner (my schoolmarm) and I worked so very closely on my last book. He helped make it better and I found a very important
friend that I have ‘never’ met.
Farasha, scratch the brute that is man and you will find that most of us love to wander around Baja and not have to worry about some of the most basic
hygienic mandates of the opposite sex.
Heck, a few of us don’t even worry about putting the toilet seat down—but only in Baja..
Guess I better quit being honest ‘cause that often comes back to slap one.
[Edited on 4-22-2007 by Baja Bernie]
[Edited on 4-22-2007 by Baja Bernie]
My smidgen of a claim to fame is that I have had so many really good friends. By Bernie Swaim December 2007
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DENNIS
Platinum Nomad
Posts: 29510
Registered: 9-2-2006
Location: Punta Banda
Member Is Offline
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Thanks Bernie....
I just threw away all my toilet paper, deodarant and toothpaste. I am now on the natch, thanks to you.
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Baja Bernie
`Normal` Nomad Correspondent
Posts: 2962
Registered: 8-31-2003
Location: Sunset Beach
Member Is Offline
Mood: Just dancing through life
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Okay!
Now that we are forwarned we will all gather up wind of you.
My smidgen of a claim to fame is that I have had so many really good friends. By Bernie Swaim December 2007
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FARASHA
Senior Nomad
Posts: 848
Registered: 6-3-2006
Member Is Offline
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- another Mystery solved - and will be reported soon in the Baja News.
I read recently ( vandenbergs post), about the stench that had moved from La Paz to Loreto - wondering Why/How . You been around Dennis?? >f<
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thebajarunner
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3687
Registered: 9-8-2003
Location: Arizona....."Free at last from crumbling Cali
Member Is Offline
Mood: muy amable
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Awwww, c'mon Bern, lighten up...
| Quote: | Originally posted by Baja Bernie
I believe that I understand that because for years my handle in Baja was “The Dirt Road Philosopher.”
It is a bit of a secret but once I have finished a book and put that baby to bed I never have gone back to re-read it. This posting of stuff I wrote
back in 2000 has forced me to do exactly that and in some ways………..I’ll catch heck for this………the same blocking of hurt and pain that women use to
mask the events leading up to the birth of a child is involved in birthing a book. I know, quite well, that it is not the same but it is the only
comparison a mere male may make. That is why I decided to edit and publish it myself……………I just could not abide a stranger messing with my baby. I
have felt that way about everything I write. It is mine, I created it and that is that.
When I revisited Miguel I almost decided not to include it because of the silly PC that dictates what is acceptable today. My love for the guy and
his philosophy is what decided it for me.
I know that, perhaps, I could have come up with a better product, but it was not a product that I wished to create. The only exception, aside from
my wife, was when the Roadrunner (my schoolmarm) and I worked so very closely on my last book. He helped make it better and I found a very important
friend that I have ‘never’ met.
Farasha, scratch the brute that is man and you will find that most of us love to wander around Baja and not have to worry about some of the most basic
hygienic mandates of the opposite sex.
Heck, a few of us don’t even worry about putting the toilet seat down—but only in Baja..
Guess I better quit being honest ‘cause that often comes back to slap one.
[Edited on 4-22-2007 by Baja Bernie]
[Edited on 4-22-2007 by Baja Bernie] |
Bernie, I was having a great weekend, mainly ranting and raving around the house, peesing everyone off, waiting for the rain to let up....
Then you go and say nice things about me.
Shucks!!!
I like it better when we are squabbling
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