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Miette
Junior Nomad
Posts: 51
Registered: 12-9-2008
Location: Mendocino County, CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: Yo soy contenta
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I need some sensitive sort of translation help, por favor.
Hola, and Hi to everyone,
I have a friend (hmmm, that's what they all say ;^) -
but, no, really it's me - I have a delicate question...
Ahem, here goes,
How does one politely, yet firmly, say in Spanish -
Wait, now first, picture this, i am a lady, minding my own business, and I sometimes, well, many times when traveling, I wear a wedding band, on the
appropriate finger so as to somewhat discourage chit-chat that I am , quite frankly, just not interested in at that particular moment.
So, there I am, once again, really, really, minding my own business; perhaps, a bit lost in thought (perhaps, actually lost, but I digress) and a
Spanish-speaking male will pop up in my face and start heavily flirting with me. I point to the ring and mumble something about mi esposo,
but all that just goes nowhere many times, and I get a bit flustered since I am just not doing anything, that I can perceive at any rate, that would
give off any false signals that I am in need of company.
I think I might download a photo off the 'net of 8 children that sort of look like they could be related to me - and then a photo of some big, hulking
macho-type sort of guy (with a couple of knife-fight looking scars), and pass this whole bunch off as my mi familia.
Anyone have any suggestions? Is there some body language that should go along with the reply? Is there some attitude (polite, maybe not-so-polite?) I
should adopt when approached.
I mean there is a time and a place for everything, but sometime a lady just wants to sit and write postcards and letters in peace and quiet.
So, respectfully, I ask all of you that are much more fluent than I am, and much more familiar with local customs - what should I say? or do?
I have stopped smiling when I reply. Smiling seems to really create confusion, and the general wrong impression - hmmmmmmmmm...
Okay, I humbly await your suggestions.
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k-rico
Super Nomad
Posts: 2079
Registered: 7-10-2008
Location: Playas de Tijuana
Member Is Offline
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You must be attractive, consider yourself lucky. I may have a solution. Would you like to meet for lunch and discuss it?
Or, try this: Gracias, eres muy guapo, pero soy una lesbiana. Tienes una hermana? 
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Paulina
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3810
Registered: 8-31-2002
Location: BCN
Member Is Offline
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Good question. I like your photo idea. Then maybe you could tell the "gentleman" that you're expecting your husband to join you at any moment.
To give the apearance that I wasn't alone I used to keep a pair of my dad's work boots outside of my door, (he wore a size 13 EE) and a few items of
mens clothing hanging on the line. Would be kind of hard to cart all that along with you though.
If someone would ask for my husband I would say that he's out fishing.
I'll be curious to hear some of the replies.
P<*)))>{
\"Well behaved women rarely make history.\" Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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flyfishinPam
Super Nomad
Posts: 1727
Registered: 8-20-2003
Location: Loreto, BCS
Member Is Offline
Mood: gone fishin'
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"I am just not doing anything, that I can perceive at any rate, that would give off any false signals that I am in need of company."
You're a woman alone that is your crime and of course unsupervised you need company. I don't know where you are though, in the park, on the playa, in
the library, in a bar, and how are you dressed...? Welcome to Mexico. Why would a woman want to be alone to do work or actually THINK on her own?
that's just not possible!
good looking or not, sometimes one just wants peace and quiet and they don't want to be bothered. and its usually the most annoying ones that are the
biggest pests in these case like the the timeshare salesmen.
try these:
"no me moleste" = don't bother me
"estoy occupado favor vayanse" = I am busy please go away
"no tengo interes" = I am not interested
these assume you want the pest to go away if that is the case. I do understand it is annoying. The ring and the photos won't work, a ring is just a
ring very few married ladies here have those and a photo is just a piece of paper. If all else fails get up and leave, but don't say what k-rico
suggests that will get you into trouble.
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DENNIS
Platinum Nomad
Posts: 29510
Registered: 9-2-2006
Location: Punta Banda
Member Is Offline
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Just throw on a set of bedroom eyes, lean a bit closer to his drooling face looking him straight in the eye, both if he has two, and in your most
seductive voice say..."SIDA."
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Oso
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 2637
Registered: 8-29-2003
Location: on da border
Member Is Offline
Mood: wait and see
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"Lo siento, pero a mi me gustan las mujeres."
All my childhood I wanted to be older. Now I\'m older and this chitn sucks.
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Natalie Ann
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 2819
Registered: 8-22-2003
Location: Berkeley
Member Is Offline
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Sometimes a little drool goes a long way....
Nena
edit: oooops, Dennis and I posted at same time.... I didn't mean his drooling eyes.....
I meant a little of her drool could work wonders.
[Edited on 2-3-2009 by Natalie Ann]
Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.
.....Oscar Wilde
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vandenberg
Elite Nomad
Posts: 5118
Registered: 6-21-2005
Location: Nopolo
Member Is Offline
Mood: mellow
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Maybe....F..........k off !!!.... may work. Understood in many countries.
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shari
Select Nomad
Posts: 13048
Registered: 3-10-2006
Location: bahia asuncion, baja sur
Member Is Offline
Mood: there is no reality except the one contained within us "Herman Hesse"
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OH yeah...all too common scenario here...Pam is right...the idea here is that a woman alone NEEDS a man to guard her. Keep in mind that No means "not
just now thanks but probably later...so keep trying". It's really hard but ya just have to be cold and hard..wipe that smile off your face and choose
a phrase ...need to have several of em ready...like suggested here...NO ME MOLESTE (dont bug me) Quiero estar sola...and a very effective one they
understand is "Mi esposo es MUY MUY zeloso y peligroso"(my husband is very very jelous and dangerous)...this usually works for me...you could even say
esposo es mexicano...good luck and practise in the mirror being rude.
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gnukid
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4411
Registered: 7-2-2006
Member Is Offline
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With all due respect consider that you may be projecting a bit, perhaps Mexican people in general are simply much nicer than you are accustomed to and
more than likely someone chatting at you is simply chatting and minding their own business as well.
If a man were truly flirting he would say so in direct fashion and all you need to say no gracias.
I have quite a few female neighbors who seem to fall into the same thing, that is quite often imagining much more than is occurring, but I guess
that's the fun part for some.
Try not to be so quick to assume the intentions of others and you will less likely to be feel uncomfortable, instead let the friendly communication be
just that.
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shari
Select Nomad
Posts: 13048
Registered: 3-10-2006
Location: bahia asuncion, baja sur
Member Is Offline
Mood: there is no reality except the one contained within us "Herman Hesse"
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I used to smile and wave at everybody...before I married Juan...he explained in full to me that mexican women dont do that...it is considered flirting
on our part girls...if you smile or wave, it is construed to be a come on...or at least a signal that you perhaps may entertain a man's attention. It
really hard for me to do...not smile and wave but I must pay attention to local protocol as well...it is embarrasing for Juan that his wife is
considered to be flirting with his buddies.
He makes a point that if I smile at a guy and later he comes on to me...Juan will have to "deal" with him...so mi esposo would rather NOT have to do
that...thus I must be more careful at whom I smile. Living in another culture is very different...there are so many subtle things we dont see or
understand. It used to bother me that Juan wanted to change my behavior...I'm ME and like me like that...but I now understand it from his point of
view as the defending male. It's a jungle out there girls...practise your scowls.
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ELINVESTIG8R
Select Nomad
Posts: 15882
Registered: 11-20-2007
Location: Southern California
Member Is Offline
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After you nicely rebuff his advances a few times and he does not get the hint you could say something like...
1. "Largate a la hijo de su p..a madre."
a. [Get the "F" out of here you S.O.B.]
2. "Agarra la onda P-nche imbécil .
b. [Get a clue you "F"-ing imbecile]
3. "Estoy casado dejame en paz."
a. [I'm married leave me alone].
Say it all tobether.
Good Luck!
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TonyC
Nomad
Posts: 421
Registered: 1-25-2008
Member Is Offline
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Refusals:
No, gracias. Estoy cansado. No thanks, I'm tired. pretty weak
Estoy esperando a alguien. I'm expecting someone. also weak
No, que le pasa? No, what's wrong you? Strong
Dejeme en paz! Leave me alone. To the point.
Larguese! Go away. Should work
Slang....No Mames, guey! Don't bug me, dude.
Don't forget to "mean mug'em" when you talk.
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BajaGringo
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3922
Registered: 8-24-2006
Location: La Chorera
Member Is Offline
Mood: Let's have a BBQ!
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Simply say, "gracias, pero no me interesa". If he insists use the advice Dennis gave...
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Miette
Junior Nomad
Posts: 51
Registered: 12-9-2008
Location: Mendocino County, CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: Yo soy contenta
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First
My apologies for taking so long to reply.
I asked my question, and very unexpectedly,
I was unable to online and get back to this post until just this moment.
(I am still having problems so please bear with me.
For example, this is the second time
I am composing a reply - my first attempt disappeared
before my disbelieving eyes
just moments ago #^(
While I still have a working connection for the moment,
Let me say the following two things:
Please excuse me while I log off and get some extremely overdue sleep.
I have been awake and doing heavy, physical work, with only two brief breaks,
from
6:30am on Feb 4 to 2:30am on Feb. 5.
and -
I will return to this post and reply and/or comment on all of your responses.
I appreciate all the replies and comments, and I am always
pleasantly surprised and always impressed by the wisdom,
thoughtfulness, humor,
and good intentions of 99.9999999999% of the Nomadians.
Good Night and/or Good Morning!
(also I am going to amend my status, to make it a little more clear
that I am having some connectivity issues)
PS.
Dear Internet Gremlins
You know I am a terrible, terrible typist. This feeble attempt at a reply,
at this early hour, has consumed 30 minutes due to my lack of skills, but also
due to your voracious appetite.
Please, please Internet Gremlins - leave this reply alone!
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lesliego
Junior Nomad
Posts: 30
Registered: 4-30-2009
Member Is Offline
Mood: tired of rain
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What happened to dejame sola cabron?
voy a llamar mi esposo
tu no vas a querer a encontrar mi suegra
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BajaGringo
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3922
Registered: 8-24-2006
Location: La Chorera
Member Is Offline
Mood: Let's have a BBQ!
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No te enojes, no hay pedo...
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CP
Nomad
Posts: 434
Registered: 7-19-2006
Member Is Offline
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I've noticed that a woman being married or a lesbian is a challenge rather than a deterrent to some macho dudes....
Ya just gotta be cold. It doesn't feel nice but it works.
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oladulce
Super Nomad
Posts: 1625
Registered: 5-30-2005
Location: bcs
Member Is Offline
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| Quote: | Originally posted by shari
I used to smile and wave at everybody...before I married Juan...he explained in full to me that mexican women dont do that...it is considered flirting
on our part girls... |
| Quote: | Originally posted by CP
I've noticed that a woman being married...is a challenge rather than a deterrent to some macho dudes....
Ya just gotta be cold. It doesn't feel nice but it works. |
Sheez, I smile and wave like i'm in a parade when i ride my moto on the dirt roads in town . I might be shy, but don't want to appear snotty. It
sounds like snotty is the least of my concerns, and ****ty might be up there on the front burner!!!
This is very interesting .
Shari, do you think there's more focus on you because you're married to a local guy? Is there an age cutoff to this no waving/no smiling rule or can a
viejita appear like she's on the prowl also ?
CP, it sounds like you've gained some first hand experience in this department too. Do you purposely avoid waving at folks when riding sola on your
moto?
Like you Shari, my initial response is a stubborn one-I'll smile and wave at whomever I want dangit!. But it would be a lot easier to prevent unwanted
advances than it would be to become embroiled in small town drama.
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jeans
Super Nomad
Posts: 1059
Registered: 9-16-2002
Member Is Offline
Mood: Encantada
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Gee..that never happens to me….
Now that the guffawing has subsided, let me explain what I think may be shaping your experiences.
By the manner in which you expressed yourself in both of your posts I pictured a woman who is hesitant, apologetic, does not want to offend or
displease, is fearful, maybe appearing coy, who is expecting unwanted attention everywhere she goes….and guess what? That is exactly what you attract!
Predators size up their victims on visual clues…Yes..it is your body language…your demeanor...how you walk, your posture, the tone of your voice (the
old saying, “It’s not what you say but how you say it). You are unwittingly attracting unwanted attention.
By the way…Anyone who would say “You must be attractive, consider yourself lucky” is ignorant beyond belief. (You should feel “lucky” a man is coming
on to you? Oh puh-leeze!)
This has nothing to do with a woman’s looks…it has to do with the aggressor’s belief, after sizing you up, on whether or not he will prevail. And
when I say prevail, it could be anything from only wanting conversation on up.
That said…is it possible that you are so fearful of being taken advantage of that you are not allowing yourself any “foreign exchange” at all? That
would be a shame. The vast majority of men are not predators. Conversation is just conversation. You can end a conversation any time you want.
Really.
It is true that Americans smile more that other cultures. And that can cause misunderstandings. So can eye contact.
Ok...it happened once. I was in Paris sitting in a sidewalk café with a glass of wine reading a book when I looked up and saw a young man walking
toward the café. I was thinking to myself he looked like a “player”, and our eyes met. That’s when I realized I was wearing reading glasses not dark
glasses. “Oh $#it!” And he was sitting at my side in a heartbeat.
You travel alone in Mexico. You are obviously a courageous and adventuresome woman. It is just not showing on the outside. My suggestion to you is
to study self defense training…(you may feel more comfortable with a women trainer). The physical & mental training will give you a level of
confidence that will change your whole physical carriage. A woman who is confident and secure in herself and not fearful of strangers can pick &
choose with whom she engages and on what level. That is very empowering. The most important thing is, that when you change your demeanor, you change
your experiences.
I have traveled alone all through Baja, US, Europe, & Southeast Asia. Foreign exchanges can be fun when you pick & choose and assume control
of your level of involvement.
Mom always told me to be different - Now she says...Not THAT different
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