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Skipjack Joe
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8084
Registered: 7-12-2004
Location: Bahia Asuncion
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This is a trip of a lifetime. You'll remember this one fondly for the rest of your lives.
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defrag4
Senior Nomad
Posts: 536
Registered: 2-5-2011
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Perhaps we were getting too big for our britches, perhaps we had one too many drinks the night before, and perhaps we did not bother to sit down and
seriously study the Honduran/Nicaraguan border crossing. But here is a lesson on what NOT to do.
I went back and forth on sharing this story… Primarily out of amateur overlander shame and secondarily out of scaring the crap out of our parents.
But here at Home on the Highway we like to share the UPS and DOWNS of the adventure. So here it is!
NOTE: There are no pictures to this post. During stressful times the last thing running through your mind is, “OH I SHOULD SNAP A PICTURE!” Sadly,
once you look back these are the times you wish you had documented it via photos.
We arrived at the “El Espino” border from Honduras into Nicaragua. We had glanced over some border crossing info the night before but feeling
confident enough with our Spanish and our prior border crossing experience we did not bother to study. We roughly calculated it would cost around $50
to complete the crossing and had that amount in Honduran Lempiras. Mistake #1. ALWAYS CARRY EXTRA CASH AND CLOSELY RESEARCH FEES BEFORE
HAND
We arrive to the frontier road and find a chain strung across it. A government official sits lazily in an old run-down shack nearby. We are instantly
bombarded by touts (border helpers) but we are prepared for this and ignore them. I grab our paperwork and make a beeline to the government shack.
I hand over our paperwork over to the government official to check it out, he, in turn, immediately hands it over to some random dude in a T-Shirt who
proceeds to run off with it. Mistake #2 NEVER LET YOUR PAPERWORK OUT OF SIGHT
I ask the government official, “What the hell?”
Government official explains that I must to use this guy to get the process done…
Sensing the worst, I immediately run after him to find our paperwork. I find him in a another dirt-floor shack that has been rigged up with a copy
machine. T-Shirt guy is happily making copies of all our paperwork.
I demand it all back from him, he refuses explaining that he is the official in charge of this process. Not exactly wanting to get into a
brawl at the border… I reluctantly pay the copy man $5! for a fistful of copies and we go back to government official in the shack whom I apparently
need to get a stamp from to cancel my Honduran import permit to move on with the border crossing process.
The entire time I am yelling about getting my damn paperwork back, so now T-Shirt guy and government official are both perturbed that this gringo is
rocking the boat. They start running a scam demanding some bullchit receipt we were supposed to have from purchasing the original car import permit
into Honduras over 3 weeks ago.
I told them we received no receipt and obviously we have paid since we had a legitimate car import permit.
They explained that if I did not have the original receipt then I would have to pay again.... $40 (Originally it was $25 when I paid crossing into
Honduras from Guatemala…)
Realizing we are now deep into scam territory I start some scamming of my own…
I explain… “Ummm... OK I am happy to pay for the new receipt but I do not have enough cash right now.”
I told the government employee that I needed his official stamp to move on with the process, to the next country where I could use an ATM. He
reluctantly agrees and stamps our paperwork. He tells his T-shirt buddy to stay with us to make sure I come back and pay him. Great… a new friend!
I jump back in the truck, Lauren who has been listening to all this going down, gives me the “What the hell are you doing!?” look…
T-Shirt guy runs ahead of the truck with our paperwork. By the time I catch up with him he has had our passports stamped out of Honduras (I pay his
friend $10 in bribes... for this) It is normally free and I know this but I am all flustered and not thinking clearly at the time.
After checking out our passports T-shirt guy goes to check the car import permit out of Honduras. For this he actually did come in handy since the
office was closed for lunch, I guess he knows the people that work there since he banged on the door and someone came and got him. They went inside
for a few minutes and came back with our stuff. The import official wanted a bribe as well, Worrying about my dwindling bankroll, I told him I didn't
have enough money but would come back later to pay...
We were now officially checked out of Honduras (Owing at least $60 in back-pay bribes) but now needed to check into Nicaragua.
At this point I now have T-shirt guy and 3 other touts following me around like sharks. I have screwed up. I am now a mark...
To enter into Nicaragua you are required to purchase car insurance and pay a per/person check-in visa fee. I needed to change my Honduran Lempiras
into Nicaraguan Cordobas (Again, We did not check the exchange rate.. and lost about $5 in this process)
I pay the Nicaraguan customs guy for our visa stamps. He was actually very friendly and yelled at the touts to leave us alone.
We get our passports stamped and now our bodies are official in Nicaragua but the truck is still in limbo stuck between the 2 countries.
We need to buy insurance and get it inspected by customs to get the truck legally into the country.
Problem is after all Nicaraguan entry-fees, various bribes, and getting screwed on the exchange rate now we REALLY are tapped out of cash.
We do not have enough money to buy insurance AKA We cannot drive into Nicaragua.
This is when 3rd world shadiness comes in handy. I search around for a dude who sells insurance who also happens to know the Nicaraguan customs guy. I
explain to him I do not have enough cash to buy insurance or pay for customs inspection. I need to get into Nicaragua to use an ATM and if he could
help me I would pay him for his services.
So shady insurance guy writes us up an insurance policy and gets his customs friend to inspect my truck.
I tell shady insurance guy and customs guy that I will pay them for the insurance policy and bribes once I get some money.
OK. So now we have a Nicaraguan insurance policy, the truck is inspected and signed off by Nicaraguan customs. Our passports are officially stamped
into Nicaragua. I have a long-line of people who are demanding payment for their “services”. Everyone involved is peeed off and I still have no money.
I talk with Shady insurance guy and he assures the angry mob (lead by damn T-Shirt guy from Honduras!) that he will go with me to the ATM and come
back with money for everyone. He wants me to go on his motorcycle into town and leave my truck at the border.
I say “Screw that, You get in my truck and we will go into town together”
Lauren who is all kinds of peeed off at me and this whole situation now has to climb in the back and squeeze between all of our crap. The shady
insurance guy gets in the front-seat of the 4Runner and we drive into Nicaragua...
We are are now driving in Nicaragua, the closet town with an ATM is about 20 miles away. Lauren and I are talking in English to each other trying to
figure out if we are 100% legit in Nicaragua. I am wondering if maybe we need some other paperwork at the border.
We determine we do not need anything. If we were to kick this dude out of the car we would be 100% legal and all those other border scammers could go
pound sand.
Now Shady Insurance guy was really the only dude who really helped me out, he fronted the $12 for insurance out of his own pocket. I did not want to
screw him over completely.
We finally get to the ATM. I pull out cash, jump back in the truck and drive back down the road. We are headed back to the border. Shady insurance guy
is totaling up all the money I owe the other scammers, It totaled up to $85, plus $12 for insurance.
Somewhere in between the border and the town I pull over the truck. Give the guy $20 and tell him to get out. He gives me a confused look and starts
asking for more money.
I tell him that is all he is getting. He argues for a bit but then gives up and gets out of the truck.
We are finally 100% legal and alone in Nicaragua.
What a friggin' day.
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Ken Cooke
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8923
Registered: 2-9-2004
Location: Riverside, CA
Member Is Online
Mood: Its Pole Line Road time
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What a frustrating situation. This is all a game to cause you to lose your cool - in front of your mujer. I have no respect for this, since it has
happened to me countless times - never by myself, but in front of the Mrs.
Just try to forget your bad experience, because it isn't worth getting yourself angry again thinking about it. Desperate people will go to these
lengths to make more money because of the power that they wield.
Have a beer as soon as possible. 
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Bajamatic
Senior Nomad
Posts: 571
Registered: 8-31-2006
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Just read this top to bottom. What an awesome trip. Awesome. Please keep the stories coming! And Godspeed!
yuletide
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goldhuntress
Senior Nomad
Posts: 663
Registered: 1-28-2010
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I read this on your website today and got a good laugh. Not at the situation, that sucked, but at your great storytelling. You really have a knack for
writing and I enjoy the reading as much as the
the trip itself.
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Skipjack Joe
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8084
Registered: 7-12-2004
Location: Bahia Asuncion
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Aren't you vulnerable now that you have stiffed all these scammers?
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defrag4
Senior Nomad
Posts: 536
Registered: 2-5-2011
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Ken Cooke
What a frustrating situation. This is all a game to cause you to lose your cool - in front of your mujer. I have no respect for this, since it has
happened to me countless times - never by myself, but in front of the Mrs.
Just try to forget your bad experience, because it isn't worth getting yourself angry again thinking about it. Desperate people will go to these
lengths to make more money because of the power that they wield.
Have a beer as soon as possible. |
I think I drank my weight in Tonas and Flor De Cana that night 
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defrag4
Senior Nomad
Posts: 536
Registered: 2-5-2011
Member Is Offline
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Skipjack Joe
Aren't you vulnerable now that you have stiffed all these scammers? |
If I do end up heading back that way, Ill be sure to cross at a different border 
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Udo
Elite Nomad
Posts: 6326
Registered: 4-26-2008
Location: Black Hills, SD/Ensenada/San Felipe
Member Is Offline
Mood: TEQUILA!
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I have never contemplated a trip like this (the closest I could come is a motorcycle trip via the coast route from Cannes Fr. to Venice Italy).
However, knowing what I have learned from posts on this forum, I would have crossed each country in a more circuitous way and avoided the most direct
route.
Defrag4, be prepared for some larger scammers and mordida seekers as you head south.
You guys have bigger balls (and money) than I have!
Udo
Youth is wasted on the young!
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David K
Honored Nomad
Posts: 64526
Registered: 8-30-2002
Location: San Diego County
Member Is Online
Mood: Have Baja Fever
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Wow, note to self... use different border crossing!
Thanks for sharing the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!
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vandenberg
Elite Nomad
Posts: 5118
Registered: 6-21-2005
Location: Nopolo
Member Is Offline
Mood: mellow
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Skipjack Joe
Aren't you vulnerable now that you have stiffed all these scammers? |
My sentiments exactly. I believe I would have parted with the additional 77 bucks for peace of mind. 
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David K
Honored Nomad
Posts: 64526
Registered: 8-30-2002
Location: San Diego County
Member Is Online
Mood: Have Baja Fever
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Maybe there is a ferry to miss that entire border on the return?
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defrag4
Senior Nomad
Posts: 536
Registered: 2-5-2011
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Border fiasco behind us we drove deeper into Nicaragua. Nicaragua is the land of volcanoes. Pretty much everywhere you turned your head your eyes
would meet at least one or two of them towering over the horizon. On the road to Leon we were passing many parks that looked good for camping.
We turn down the road into one of the parks, A guard meets us at the gate. We tell him we want to camp near the Volcano. He seems confused but then
explains there is a road that goes up the Volcano and points towards some farmers and their cows plying up some path.
We ask “Can we camp up there?” He says “Sure!”
So we headed off towards the “road”.
We end up in "traffic" behind a farmer, his horses and his young son. The "road" appears to be more of a cow path that farmers use to move their
cattle from pasture to pasture.
After slowly creeping behind this farmer up this horribly rutted and rocky path for about 15 minutes he stops and asks us what we are doing?
We tell him we are trying to drive up the Volcano to camp....
He says he has never seen anyone drive up this road and it gets pretty rough ahead. I ask him if he thinks its possible to continue, He replies
“Maybe…”
We push on further up the volcano, the road continues to deteriorate the higher we get.
I am mashing in 4x4 over huge boulders, the path is barely wide enough for the 4Runner to fit. I was having a blast tackling this challenging trail,
letting the 4Runner do what she was born to do. The farmer is enjoying watching these crazy ass gringos drive up his volcano. Poor Lauren is bouncing
all over the truck, worried about breaking our home while driving up this crazy path.
The farmer is now on-board with the adventure to drive up this Volcano. Him and his son are going up ahead of us clearing huge differential murdering
boulders out of the way and helping me pick lines to climb up and over rocks, cliffs, and washes.
After about an hour of mashing the living crap outta our truck we reach a point where we just cant clear the differentials any longer. The farmer
looks heartbroken. He offers up his horse to Lauren and I to continue our journey. He wanted to take us back up to his ranch and to spend the night
with him and his family.
We considered his offer. Unfortunately, the 4Runner was wedged in the cow path, Nothing else could fit through. I figured I should probably turn
around and not leave my truck out here in the middle of nowhere blocking the way.
Sadly we had to say Thank you and Goodbye to our farmer friend and his son. We reversed in 4x4 for about 1/4 mile to a wide enough spot to turn around
and start heading back down the mountain 
Eventually we get back to the guard at the park gate. For some reason he was laughing his butt off when he saw us drive up… turns out that bastard
knew it wasn't a trail for trucks! He was pretty impressed when we told him how far we got up though.
We caught a beautiful sunset that night as we drove into Leon, Nicaragua.
I also got pulled over TWICE in one day in Managua for legitimate reasons. It appears Nicaraguans actually enforce laws of the road. Passing on a
double-yellow and using a turn-lane to pass is illegal here…
I explained to the first cop I was just a dumb tourist and he left us off with a warning.
The second cop actually confiscated my license and was about escort us to the bank to pay our citation. Before he pulled off towards the bank he asked
where we were going for the day. I explained we were trying to get to Volcano Masaya. He starts laughing and explains we are very lost and completely
off-track. All of the sudden he gives me license back, tears up the ticket, then pulls out his motorcycle, stops traffic both directions in the 6-lane
highway and gives us a police escort all the way across town to the correct highway to Volcan Masaya. Talk about a turn of events!!
Rest of the story, more pics, and videos on the blog at http://homeonthehighway.com/volcano-driving-in-nicaragua/
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DianaT
Select Nomad
Posts: 10020
Registered: 12-17-2004
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Your photos are absolutely beautiful and tell such a great story.
Your story is so Central American when crossing those borders --- it can and is usually quite crazy, unpredictable and money draining! When we
lived there we had our truck legally imported into Honduras and having Central American license plates made the crossings easy.
Keep up the great travels! Such fun and each of those countries has its own personality.
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defrag4
Senior Nomad
Posts: 536
Registered: 2-5-2011
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We headed to Volcan Masaya. The only active Volcano in the Western Hemisphere you can drive to the rim of.
Look for the 4Runner on the left to compare to the crater
The volcano is surrounded by legend and lore.
The indigenous people would sacrifice young girls to appease the volcano gods to prevent eruptions. The indians considered the mouth of the volcano
"the gateway to hell"
A spanish priest back in the 1600's placed this cross at the top of the Volcano.
The volcano is spewing tons of Sulfuric gas into the air. It is the largest natural polluter IN THE WORLD. You can barely breathe up there and cough
the entire time. Definitely not a safe place to hang out very long.
The volcano went off in 2005 shooting huge rocks and gasses all over the place, lots of people were injured and cars were damaged. Now they have
warnings to park your car facing outwards just in case you gotta get the hell outta there!
OBEY THE SIGNS
Prepared for a speedy escape
We took a hike up to the top of the ridge, Lauren is standing in front of an older volcano that is now dormant and filling in with plantlife.
Volcan Masaya
Read the rest of the story on the blog at http://homeonthehighway.com/volcan-masaya-nicaragua/
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defrag4
Senior Nomad
Posts: 536
Registered: 2-5-2011
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We camped at the Volcano that night. Next morning we pushed off into Granada headed towards Isla Ometepe
Isla Ometepe is an island in the middle of Lake Nicaragua, a HUGE fresh water lake, 2nd largest freshwater lake in the Western Hemisphere and largest
freshwater island in the world. The lake is so big is has BULLSHARKS, tarpon, and snook living in it. All saltwater species.
It also has 2 awesome volcanoes on it. One still active.
You can drive on the island but you need to take a ferry to get there. We bought some tickets and found a palapa to chill under while we waited for go
time.
Loaded up
Volcan Concepcion as seen from the road as we mash around on Isla Ometepe
Main road/Airport runway. Dont get caught stalled out in the Runway when a plane comes to land
We stayed at a coffee co-op called Finca Magdalena, 25 Nicaraguan families all work the farm together. They recently built a small
hostel/campground/restaurant. $3 a day for camping and around $1.50 for meals. Place was awesome.
Shot of the turn of the century processing house/hostel/restaurant
Made some new friends at the Finca, We decided to hike to the top of Volcan Maderas together. The finca suggested we hire a guide but after our last
guided death march up Volcan San Pedro we said No thanks and hit the trail solo.
More pics and the rest of the story on the blog at http://homeonthehighway.com/isla-ometepe-nicaragua/
[Edited on 5-27-2012 by defrag4]
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woody with a view
PITA Nomad
Posts: 15938
Registered: 11-8-2004
Location: Looking at the Coronado Islands
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Mood: Everchangin'
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looks like you two are having one hell of an experience! good for you!!!
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defrag4
Senior Nomad
Posts: 536
Registered: 2-5-2011
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Back on the mainland we book it down to San Juan Del Sur. This place is supposedly really popular for surfing. We checked out one suggested campsites
and it was "BRO CITY". Not our scene, We searched around a bit and found a secluded spot called Matildas. $5 a night, beachfront. Sold.
We hooked up with some fellow overlanders. Our buddies from www.liferemotely.com in a 3rd gen 4Runner and our friends Zach and Jill in an Astro van from www.anywherethatswild.org. You can see us all tucked up in the trees
The beach was gorgeous and hot. We spent most of the day lying in hammocks and drinking cold beers. Its a rough life.
At sunset the beach would fill with zillions of hermit crabs
Went on a adventure into town over this cool bridge to resupply on rum.
Drinking rum and watching the sun go down on sunset beach. Life is good.
More pics and the rest of the story at http://homeonthehighway.com/san-juan-del-sur-nicaragua/
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Ken Cooke
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8923
Registered: 2-9-2004
Location: Riverside, CA
Member Is Online
Mood: Its Pole Line Road time
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Requesting photos from COLOMBIA!
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defrag4
Senior Nomad
Posts: 536
Registered: 2-5-2011
Member Is Offline
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Getting to far behind on our blog! It's amazing how fast you can get behind on these things. I go back and look at the photos on our Facebook (PS: You have "LIKED" us on facebook, haven't you!?) and it seems like years ago when we first arrived in Costa Rica. Then I look at the
date and realize it has only been 1 damn month. Crazy! We are now actually in Colombia, so much has happened since then. Time to get writing and get
you guys caught up!
We said goodbye to Nicaragua and crossed the border at Penas Blancas. Quite an unorganized and chaotic border. Not as many touts and pushers bothering
you but no real rhyme or reason to the whole process. Lots of running around chasing down random officials in blue shirts trying their damn best to
hide from these gringos who need an exit stamp! It was a literal game of "Where's Waldo?" as we went from blue-shirted man to blue-shirted man crazily
waving our paperwork in their faces. We finally found Waldo hiding out under a palm tree WAYYYYY off in the far corner of the parking lot. Clearly
hiding.
Thankfully many overlanders have gone before us and written some great walkthroughs. Thanks again to fromatob.org for their great Penas Blancas crossing article. We made it through in just under 2 hours. Not bad at all! These things are fairly
easy provided you do your homework!
We crossed into Costa Rica with no real plan, as usual. We were just going to drive around and figure out something to do when we got there. We drove
and drove and drove without seeing much of any interest. We made it to a town called Liberia, Costa Rica and stopped to have a look around and use
some internet to figure out what to do for the day.
Our research discovered that the Rincon De La Vieja National Park was just a few miles back the way came. Apparently Rincon Vieaja is an active
volcano complete with steam vents, mud pots, and the occasional eruption spewing hot ash and boatloads of hot liquid acid into the air if you are
lucky. (Just kidding Mom's! But seriously... it last erupted in Sept 2011)
Sounded like our kind of place, Hopped back in the 4Runner and drove up a horribly rutted road to the park entrance hoping we could camp there. The
park was actually closed when we arrived. But we randomly spotted some fellow overlander friends Petra and Klaus, who we last saw in Belize over 4 months ago! We knocked on their door, said howdy and picked up right where we left off, sharing
beers and swapping stories. They said they have been camping in front of the park now for 2 nights without any problems. So we setup camp and hit the
park early in the morning.
The hike wound through lots of dense rainforest, certainly didnt seem like there were gobs of molten hot magma beneath our feet...
But after about 30 minutes we heard a faint rumbling and hissing off in the distance... Soon the acrid smell of sulfur filled our nostrils. Yep. Its a
volcano alright!
We came across our first sign of the Earth's guts spilling out into the atmosphere in the form of these nice steam vents/mud pots. I tried getting
closer for a better picture but the warning signs describing the 400F degree steam lurking under the deteriorated thin-pizza crust ground surrounding
the vents deterred me. I settled for just chunking a few rocks and sticks into the hole for fun. YES, YES. FEED THE CRATER!
We continued our hike discovering more and more volcanic evidence. It seemed the earth was leaking out of every pore. Every once and a while we would
come across a rock making strange gurgling noises, you touch the rock and it is red-hot. We thought if we moved the rock a huge plume of lava would
come shooting out. Obviously, We tried moving the rock but instead of being greeted by a delightful shower of lava we just received 1st degree burns
on our palms. Perhaps its the Earth's way of deterring us from unlocking Pandoras box.
Walking along the path minding my own business when I see a funny rock, I think that the rock kind of looks like a crab... Nah, Couldn't be.
BAM! IT IS A CRAB AND HE IS A peeED-OFF CRAZY LAVA CRAB
I subdued him with a stick until Lauren told me to stop messing with the poor guy. He is already very lost. Silly Crab, This is a forest.
It was a beautiful day for a hike. We learned that the Costa Rican power company actually harvests some of the steam escaping from the Volcano and
converts it into usable energy. An interesting concept I thought.
We packed up the truck and hit the road. The truck has been running like crap since Nicaragua and the hunt for the needed repair parts continues. Plus
we needed to get our butts to San Jose, Costa Rica to pick up Laurens Mom and sister who were expected to arrive soon.
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