drzura
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Dodging bullets down Mex 1...
Dude... are you for real, or just an idiot????? 
Quote: Originally posted by Paco Facullo  |
Well, it all started off so innocent, as I was simply helping a friend with the long drive from Los Angeles to Todos Santos...
Me Amigo politely asked if I minded him bringing some pot along ? I didn't like the idea but allowed him to bring a "little amount " and that he take
FULL responsibility for ALL and any mishaps along the way.
My only other requirement was to leave extremely early so as to miss O.C. and San Diego morning traffic as we were leaving on a Tuesday.
Tuesday, O'Dark thirty comes (3:30 am ) so we are off and running ,cup-o-joe in hand and NO traffic. Wonderful !
We make it to the Tijuana boarder in record time , with help of the radar detector that I brought ,along with my buddies driving skills.
Both of us need our 6 month visa and get it no problem. As we then go through the red/green light thing we are instructed by the guards to go through
x-ray... That was a trip but he did not have to pay any VAT tax even though he was bringing about $5,000 worth of stuff. ( He's building a house
near Todos Santos. ) they let us go...
We fly through Tijuana, Ensenada and the first of three Federal checkpoints just waves us through.
The drive was uneventful down, till we get to North San Quintin , when we are almost stopped going over a tope , we see a pOlice car stopped on the
opposite side of the street at a 45* angle. As we pass I see a Mexican about 50 yrs old , Big mustache and belly to boot, holding a Machete in each
hand. The Machetes aren't the typical one's I've seen , these are bright and shinny, kinda like swords. well he first has then tucked up under his
arms then as he goes towards the police he starts swinging them all around while the Police , guns pointing right at the Mexicans chest, rapidly back
up. I was vary much surprised that they didn't blow him away at that point ? Cops in Los Angeles would'd have put up with that sh*t ! They displayed
amazing restraint, perhaps they wanted him alive ? Or he was the town drunk and they are used to his crazy antics ? Who the Flock knows ?
So ,when one of the Cop's, shoots the ground next to the crazed Mexican, we high-tail it down the road. We do stop about 60 yards down, pull over,
turn the car around to see the action. We then see another cop vehicle pull up as one cop is running for the safety of his opened car door, just as
the two original Cops are rapidly backing up across the highway, guns a blazing , one of them gets hit and goes down hard ! The gun fire is erupting
with at least two dozen shots exchanged so we decide post hast to get the Hell outda there. We skedaddle down the road and see many other cop cars
speeding the other way towards the scene.
We take advantage of the situation and just pull over wherever to take a much needed leak ........
Just for chit & Giggles we both Moon the next speeding cop car that passes ( joking of course ) but did think about it.
Now we're able to speed without much fear. In a while we need something to eat so's we stop at La Parcela 12 just South of San Quintin. It's safe to
say I need a beer more than the food and luckily there a tienda close by . I get the nepoles con res and enjoy the Hell out of it. While were eating
we tell of our story and someone knew about the shooting also and confirmed the Machete guys's demise but not the shot cop ? One more beer and we're
off on the road again, I hadn't yet mentioned that all during our trip my buddy is smoking joints like cigarettes .
Everything is going great until the 2nd. checkpoint ( buddy is putting out a joint as we're coming up on it ( SH*T !) I open the window full in hopes
to air it out FAST !
Well they hassle us badly and even make us empty out our pockets. My buddy has a lighter but no cigs ?
The Feds are asking where are your smokes ? Then WHERE IS THE MARIJUANA ??? Luckily I had brought about six cigars in bag next to me , so I pull um
out and show them.
They still search like crazy but come up with nothing, They got real close when one of them asked about my friends little pocket of his Levis, he has
two joints there so he sticks his finger in and slides the joints over as he opens it up to show nothing there .
Mid way through the search we tell of the Cop shooting and it diverts their attention a bit....
They searched the heck out of the front of the car but not the back as it was as full as anything . It's a Honda Element ( I own one also ) great
cars.
After the scare, I change my underwear as we drive on wishing I would have bought an 8 pack of beer.
A little while latter my buddy opens the little compartment overhead and discovers a forgotten pipe that is loaded with hash.
So he commences to get rid of it by smoking it away while I lite up a cigar to mask the smell.
I have him stash the stuff in the back except for a joint to smoke.
We get by "pot hole city" and before Guerrero Negro the 3rd. checkpoint is upon us as he is smoking a joint, I roll down my window , he hands me whats
left of it and I casually toss it out inconspicuously. We see a dog checking out the truck in front of us and we both Sh*t our pants simultaneously
!!!
For unknown, but much appreciated reasons they take the dog away before we pull up. Again they question and check the Holy heck out of us but didn't
bring the dog over, thank you Jesus. We once again tell of the Cop shooting story. This time they don't make us empty pockets , thank God as my buddy
has the pipe in one of them. ( I didn't know this till after the fact ).
A while latter I tell my friend "thats it " NO MORE ! I am a OK looking gringo with virtually no body hair ( especially my ass ) so I probably
wouldn't fair well in a Mexican prison. My moobs wouldn't help the matter either..... ( For those that don't know what moobs are, Man boobs )
We finally get to Guerrero Negro and check into the TerraSal Hotel. First thing is straight to the bar, well restaurant, for MUCH NEEDED Margaritas.
We're up early again this morning, stop at Pemex for gas y coffee. I now tell my buddy ( I know. I should have told him WAY before this )
he has to get rid of it all. I do let him have one joint ( his last of the trip ) as the next checkpoint isn't till San Ignacio .
We pick a spot on the highway to bury his stash ( he will get it when he drives back in June ) NOT with me !
I tell him I have had enough excitement for this trip and would prefer a non eventful day. PLEASE ....
We get to the San Ignacio checkpoint and breeze through as we do with all the rest of them. Figures.........
Well the relaxing day I wanted was not to be. When one of the many large trucks pass us going the opposite way my buddy gets too close to the edge
and the tires leave the pavement, we get all squirrelly but he does recover . One more pair of underwear needed.
Later we see smoke in the distance , when we get to it there is a big truck gutted from fire still smoking. It had run off the road.
Later in Santa Rosalia we stop for beer ( this time I by a six pack ) and tacos.
Well we make it to Todos Santos in 10 hours, safe and sound , barely.
Believe my I will never do anything like that again ! I was a fool.
They say that God protects drunks, fools and babies, well two outa three ain't bad.... |
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Lengua
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yOU'RE AN IDIOT
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shari
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Registered: 3-10-2006
Location: bahia asuncion, baja sur
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Mood: there is no reality except the one contained within us "Herman Hesse"
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wow....epic trip report dude! not to mention hilarious
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MMc
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Great Story! No need to state the obvious. We all have done some stupid stuff, thanks for sharing.
"Never teach a pig to sing it frustrates you and annoys the pig" - W.C.Fields
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Paco Facullo
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Mood: Abiding ..........
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Heck, if ya think that story is crazy , I have a ton of um.
I guess I'm just a lucky soul as nothing majorly bad has happened to me , so far ?
I even qualified for my Sentri pass. It's not like I beat kids and kittens, by God ??
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JZ
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Good story.
Brought my boat over from the mainland to Santa Rosalia about 10 years ago. One of my dumb ass friends brought some weed.
We are fueling up the boat on the dock and I look up and 3 feds or marines are walking down from the dock entrance with a dog. I go to my friend, you
got that chit squared away!!?? To which he didn't say a word.
Another boat was tied up to ours and they walked right over my swim platform and gave the other boat a once over.
We shoved off and headed for Loreto. Once I saw the town I told him to throw it out. A big argument ensued, but I held my ground.
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motoged
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Paco,
Great story !!!! Would have fun swapping such fool/idiot stories over a cerveza sometime.....
And we are still here to share them 
Don't believe everything you think....
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chippy
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Wow! Cheech and Chong/Fear and Loathing in Baja. Interesting.
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caj13
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He's a "For Real" Idiot - obviously!
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David K
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Mood: Have Baja Fever
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Wow... You were so lucky. Mexico is not the U.S. and they have tougher laws and a whole different legal system!
Good plan to bury the stash before San Ignacio Check Point! They went crazy on my wife and I in 2015 there, claiming some plant seed off my shoe, on
my floor mat was marijuana (and he lit it with his cigarette lighter, saying "Sí, es marijuana"... and did a search. We don't smoke anything, so it
was with some comfort I said, 'search but there is nothing' (unless he plants it on us)!
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Paco Facullo
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Mood: Abiding ..........
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Hell yes I would !
Chippy, ,,, "Wow! Cheech and Chong/Fear and Loathing in Baja. Interesting."
Most appropriate analogy.....
At other than this time I NEVER bring anything illegal into foreign countries.. ( well I allowed it )
I never will put myself in a situation like that again !
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tobias
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Watching a suicide by cop mexican style and having my vehicle searched all while enjoying the paranoia inducing effects of TCH sounds like a nightmare
to me.
Glad you made it through!
[Edited on 2-13-2018 by tobias]
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AKgringo
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It was almost a lifetime ago (late 1964) and I, my brother and a high school friend were making our first trip to Mexico without parental supervision.
I was seventeen, my brother and friend were nineteen.
We were all country boys, and thought it would be fun to do some hunting and plinking while we were down there (Manzanillo area) so we stuffed three
long guns, a pistol, and a bunch of ammo in the back seat of a 56 Chevy.
We had a good time over the couple of months we were there, and in a brief period when common sense occurred, we decided to sell our stash of
firepower before we headed north. The guy that bought them didn't even bother to haggel with us when we asked what we had paid for our stuff in the
US!
If you are not living on the edge, you are taking up too much space!
"Could do better if he tried!" Report card comments from most of my grade school teachers. Sadly, still true!
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Terry28
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Location: S.Calif mtns.
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Now, exactly where is this stash buried??
Mexico!! Where two can live as cheaply as one.....but it costs twice as much.....
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pacificobob
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excellent story. i have traveled with guys who roll that way. fookme, what luck i have had in my life! i have some stories from the 70s and 80s in
Mexico, Central America and South America that i keep to myself.
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joerover
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCXqbjo6cb0
do you blame your problems on alcoholism_?
the fat lady is breeding
which means
The fat ladys are breeding
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pacificobob
Super Nomad
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anybody else find that link to be inoperative? how will i be able to blame my problems on something?
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AKgringo
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It didn't lead to anything for me either. I guess I will stick to blaming my parents for the way I am!
If you are not living on the edge, you are taking up too much space!
"Could do better if he tried!" Report card comments from most of my grade school teachers. Sadly, still true!
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