BajaNomad

Cultural differances, ain't they fun!

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Iflyfish - 11-28-2006 at 09:34 PM

I started this topic as a place to discuss cultural differences. I wonder if they can be discussed without rancor and just as differences.

I notice that when I ask directions in Mexico that the person I have asked will often give me directions, even when I sense that they really don't know the direction. Are they just trying to please and give some hope that I will find something? Are they not wanting to displease by saying “I don’t know”? Is it not ok to not have an answer? I am curious about this phenomenon.

I have experienced people in the height of good feelings and good will offer to meet me or do something or other and then not be there or do what they say they will do. I wonder if this is the product of living “in the moment” so that the expression of positive social outcome, i.e. “I will meet you for dinner tomorrow evening” means “I am enjoying your and our interaction” enough that I would even continue it at some time if that worked out”?

In the Book Men are From Venus and Women Mars, or something like that, or Tannen’s You Don’t Understand me, the author talked about the psychological level transaction that underlies woman’s’ interactions, it goes some thing like this, “how are we doing?”, “are we ok with each other now?” Observing men interacting with each other his/her, view was that they were interested in dominance and control, or social positioning. “Who is on top,” “Who is the most expert, stronger, most knowledgeable”? Etc. If this paradigm holds true, I wonder if those Mexican people that I have mentioned above are simply operating out of a more “feminine” mode of interaction where the focus on the relationship in the now is paramount?

Brain science has taught us that the left-brain is the rational, logical side, while the right-brain is the more intuitive, affectively focused lobe. In this context men would tend more toward left dominance while women more the right. Again stereotypes but some general truth to this proposition I think. Using this paradigm is the typical Mexican more likely to be right brained?

Notice I am not making a value judgment as to which side of the brain is superior, or which function is preferable, hopefully we would have significant balance in our domain dominance.
We need both.

I know that there are native Mexicans on this list and I would be interested in hearing from them also what differences they notice. One that I have heard is that the Norte Americano are always in a hurry, that they are rude because they do not take time to inquire about the family etc.

I think that this is a topic that often leads to misunderstanding between peoples because these differences often generate negative feelings based upon misunderstandings of the other cultures ways of doing things. I noticed in a discussion on another topic that a couple of Nomads seemed to have their feelings hurt when discussing this sort of cultural difference. That saddened me. I think it can be difficult to discuss these things without one or the other feeling insulted. However if one can see these as only differences then greater understanding can occur. If I interpret my friends not showing up for lunch as he said he would as a slight or insult to me, as I would if a Norte Americano did the same, then I might be missing a deeper connection or cultural difference. I might miss entirely that he was saying how much he enjoyed me when he said he was going to meet me for lunch.

Anyway, I hope others will share some of the differences that they have noticed. I think this could be a very interesting discussion. Just please don’t start your sentances with Mexicans do…….or Norte Americano’s do……….. Not all Mexicans are the same nor are all Norte Americano’s. There are regional differences in the US of A that one can notice as one travels. I have noticed this in Mexico also. What is your experience with this? I wonder if our native Mexican Nomads have noticed these differences when traveling up north?

Iflyfish when not stirring up hornets nests

bajabound2005 - 11-28-2006 at 10:03 PM

don't count on it

Diver - 11-28-2006 at 10:04 PM

I can't find it but someone has posted some wonderful stories as examples of mexican cultural differences. One I am thinking of is about the man who asked his Mexican neighbor about the dog's leg and the Mexican named the dog for the gringo....... Can anyone remember this one or others ??
I'm thinking it was either Oso, Osprey or Hose A that made the posts ???

.

Iflyfish - 11-28-2006 at 10:16 PM

bajabound,

Are those marachas or boxing gloves?

Iflyfish

Iflyfish - 11-28-2006 at 10:18 PM

I heard the one about the German couple taking their dog to the Korean restaurant................. you know the rest of the story.

Iflyfish when not cleaning my teeth

bajabound2005 - 11-28-2006 at 10:24 PM

no boxing gloves, mi amigo, just a warning where this could go; and from here on for this subject, I bid you buena suerte...not that it would not be interesting, just have your shield poised! Oh, I think you mean "maracas" as opposed to "marachas". Definition of maracas: "A Latin-American percussion instrument consisting of a hollow-gourd rattle containing pebbles or beans and often played in pairs." For "marachas": No results found for marachas.

villadelfin - 11-28-2006 at 11:29 PM

Quote:
bajabound,

Are those marachas or boxing gloves?

Iflyfish

Quote:
Iflyfish when not stirring up hornets nests


Doesn't that say it all?

Iflyfish - 11-29-2006 at 03:07 AM

Indeed, I do mean maracas. Thanks for the solution to my terrible spelling of this particular Spanish word, there are many. I never learned to write Spanish, only to speak it in the most rudimentary form. Beer, eggs over easy, toilet (which I only recently discovered was a shower) that I was asking for.

We once had the experience of trying to find the Palenque, you know the place where the chickens duke it out. We ended up asking where we could find the poyo olympiad. It worked. Thank goodness, for the patients of the Mexicans who I have met who have put up with this sort of thing? I wonder if some of our native Mexican Nomads have heard us ask for funny things. Have you ever noticed Norte's who when trying to learn Spanish talk louder if they are not understood?

I used to be offended when I was called wayo, or white guy, or gordo, fat guy till I found that it is typical in Mexico to refer to someone by their most noticeable feature. Like bajabound, I'll bet they call you maracas down south. When I got a very bad sunburn I was called longusta for a very long time.

I notice that most often Mexican children are very polite and don't whine like I so commonly see them do in the North. Are they more secure? Do the children of the Nortes seem anxious to native Mexicans?

I had a friend Dewey in third grade in San Jose. His family had just moved from Mexico. I just moved from North Dakota. Dewey was my first Mexican friend. Dewey insisted that he was Spanish. I insisted he was Mexican. I kept trying to convince him that since he immigrated from Mexico that he must be Mexican. Nope, "Spanish" he would proclaim. That really confused me. I guess it would be like me insisting that I was Icelandic if pressed on my country of origin. I guess the answer depends on how far you want to go back. Interesting. I guess that issue relates to who we identify with.

Iflyfish when not pondering what to do with too much time on my hands

Osprey - 11-29-2006 at 07:03 AM

Diver, that was me with the cultural stuff. I'll dig out a couple of short tales that I hope won't offend anybody. For now: Flyguy has already nailed a big part of it.
1. As travel in the Americas increased in the 1800s Mexicans had and earned the reputation of courtesy so much that it was used this way "He was as courteous as a Mexican."
2. Because of our living by the clock culture, gringos don't pay enough attention to tribal customs, greetings, taking beverages, food, exchanging chit chat in any countries they visit, not just Mexico.

Osprey - 11-29-2006 at 07:31 AM

Here's a little disclaimer before I post more little culture things -- my tombstone will read "Don't go by me". Nothing sinister intended -- just some random thoughts from a harmless old man.


Inside



The cactus wren steps carefully, gingerly, between the thorns of the cholla to build its nest. She lines the nest with twigs, strips of palm, bits of shredded bark until the nest is protecting the bird, later the tiny delicate eggs, and eventually chicks, from the tips of the deadly spikes.

Like the cholla, Mexico protects its way of life, continues its slow, steady breathing, preserving the core heat of the millions of people it holds, nurtures, by producing spikes and thorns of another kind. They are just as sharp, waiting to prick and puncture invaders with thin skin or clumsy movement.

The cactus stands motionless. Waiting. Mexico waits, admits the faceless pilgrims, the uninvited fat, pink immigrants. No need for a fence south of the Rio Grande. No sudden skirmishes, no more guns and swords; the bloody collision of divergent cultures -- that was the age of Cortez. New World cultures grind slowly, inexorably past those of Old Mexico. The grinding bruises everyone.

The pink ones suffer kindness unrequited, social slights. Unreturned visits, gifts, pleasantries can sting and bruise. Newcomers may perceive a real or imagined meanness in the manner of those officials, public servants, who can smooth their path but often wear the thorns of duplicity. A system biased and unjust can chaff and insult anyone not insulated by the accident of being born on Mexican soil.

The Americans. The Americans and the Canadians bruise, bleed more than most. They have been softened, weakened by decades of warm winds and full bellies. Many run back bleeding, frightened, disappointed.

Those that stay have not changed, have not grown stronger -- like the wren, they have found the secret. They can only feel safe and warm after they have experienced all the cuts, bruises on the thorny top layer of the place; after they have fought their way inside.

Wiles - 11-29-2006 at 07:42 AM

Osprey...Your words should be posted on billboards at every border crossing. It should appear on every tourist permit with "I agree" signature required as a disclaimer for validation of the permit and entry.

Well Done

Ifyfish

Bajalero - 11-29-2006 at 09:01 AM

Your first mistake, and a common one as an outsider, is to question why Mexicans are as you describe.

You'll be miles ahead just to accept what you know and deal with it . You'll also get along better with them and garner more respect from them.

One place you don't want to spend a lot of time analyzing is Mexico . Just when you think you have it figured out it'll turn around and bite you in the burro.

longlegsinlapaz - 11-29-2006 at 10:51 AM

I’m sorry, but I don’t understand the big taboo about respectfully discussing cultural differences. The definition of “different” certainly doesn’t infer bad, odd, weird, inferior or any other negative connotation; it simply means not the same. IMHO, I think it’s better to be aware that there ARE cultural differences & to be aware of what those differences may be. Too many people come to Mexico with their own cultural expectations, which can lead to rudeness & disrespect for not having their expectations met. It can also lead to having their bubbles burst & dissatisfaction over what reality is versus their expectations. Knowing in advance what some of the cultural differences are, removes the rose colored glasses & I think that personal expectations can be set aside to allow for a smoother transition & acceptance of the differences.

I believe it’s a combination of the entire atmosphere that attracts us initially; the unique & awesome landscape, different climate, the warmth of the people, cultural diversity…to name a few. We should know, respect & celebrate those differences! Whether we fully understand them or not, we do need to respect them, for they are an inherent part of our host country. If we expect everything to be the same as wherever we come from, then there wouldn’t be any desire or need to venture this far from our roots!

I have talked with my Mexican friends about our cultural differences, I tried to explain where I’m coming from & how most Norteamericanos think, feel, & why, and they’ve attempted to get me to understand the same from their perspective. Some of these conversations were very enlightening, some frustrating, but they were all amiable! We each came away with a better respect, if not understanding, of our cultural differences; and in some instances, we have agreed to disagree! There are some things we will never see totally eye-to-eye on, but we each accept that!

Understanding that there are cultural differences is the first step, attempting to understand those differences is the second step, acceptance, or at a minimum, tolerance of those differences is the ultimate step!

I will be the first to want this thread removed if it becomes a shooting gallery! It IS possible to have a respectful discussion without name-calling or stereotypical mud-slinging posts.:bounce:

Bruce R Leech - 11-29-2006 at 11:04 AM

an experiment for you to do.....have a party and invite every mexicano you know they will all tell you they will be there Even if they know they are not going to be able to make it. they will never say I cant make it because I will be out of town,:?:

a must read book on this is.... Baja Ha Ha. if you haven't read it in the last couple years read it again.:tumble:

DianaT - 11-29-2006 at 11:14 AM

Yes, I think understanding the differences is good---different is why we love to travel in all of Mexico. Just some of my observations and thoughts---none are negative, just different.

Working south of the border--
In staff meetings, we want to get to the point quickly, but in the more polite society, personal interation is an important first step, and often the point is traveled around in a circle.

When we paid rent, we really just wanted to pay it and move on, but if our landlord was home, it required a social occasion. We always seem to be in too much of a hurry to really be social.

We had to learn not to just approach a co-worker with a question without the polite greetings and questions first.

Learned as a teacher south of the border and in Calexico with lots of students from Mexico.
Essay writing in Mexico is very different. Long sentences, long paragraphs, wandering off topic and often circles around the topic. In preparing these students for taking the AP U.S. History Exam, I had to teach them the get to the point gringo style. As I told them, one style is not better than the other, but they needed to write with the audience in mind.

One student with a Mexican mother and a German- American father used to tell me about family gatherings and how she was torn between the two cultures. When she was with dad's family, the children all behaved quietly and proper, as did the adults---usually a rather quiet affair. Then with her mother's family, it was louder, wild, and a lot more fun for children and adults, but for her, sometimes embarassing when her German-American side kicked in.

There are a lot more things I have learned over the years. Different is just different, nothing more.

Diane

[Edited on 11-29-2006 by jdtrotter]

Iflyfish - 11-29-2006 at 11:55 AM

Bajalero,

My mind operates in this way. I have a curious nature and still retain a sense of wonder. I like to understand differances. I think I will always question.

For me there is much to be learned by studying differances. I enjoy learning. We may have stumbled on a cultural differance. To your mind it is a mistake to question the why of things. To me these questions are part of how I form a "big picture" of things. You are advising me not to question, these questions may be considered insulting or offensive just by the fact that I am asking.

I want you to know that I have had a wonderful time in Mexico and am well loved and enjoyed. I am missed when I am gone and welcomed back with open arms. I get on very well with people. I enjoy people and appreciate differances. I know how to BE with people. The questions are those that go on in my mind. My career was one of helping people deal with differances.

As to figuring it out, I used to love to play with mercury.

Thank you very much for your response. I appreciate your thoughts on this.

Iflyfish when not having my burro bit

Iflyfish - 11-29-2006 at 12:00 PM

Osprey,

God I wish I could write like that!

I have to run, will read more later. I am so glad we are discussing this topic. Thanks to all.

Iflyfish when not reading with humility Osprey's post

Cypress - 11-29-2006 at 12:08 PM

You might say Osprey has a way with words.:wow:

fdt - 11-29-2006 at 12:17 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Iflyfish
I know that there are native Mexicans on this list and I would be interested in hearing from them also what differences they notice. One that I have heard is that the Norte Americano are always in a hurry, that they are rude because they do not take time to inquire about the family etc.

I think that this is a topic that often leads to misunderstanding between peoples because these differences often generate negative feelings based upon misunderstandings of the other cultures ways of doing things.

Not all Mexicans are the same nor are all Norte Americano’s. There are regional differences in the US of A that one can notice as one travels. I have noticed this in Mexico also. What is your experience with this? I wonder if our native Mexican Nomads have noticed these differences when traveling up north?

Iflyfish when not stirring up hornets nests


Ok, this is way to tempting, you want the mexican point of view, well it all depends on the mexican. I've traveled the US also and have gotten "sometimes" by "some" americans the worst directions, advice, information, promises, etc. as I have from "some" mexicans. I realy get upset at it. I've worked in the states and in México for very good companies and yes, meetings don't start on time, schedules are not kept, instructions are wrong in both countries.
I don't thin that mexicans say yes or promise something just because they like to give as DK said, I don't think all mexicans just tell you yes they will go to your party like BL said and not all mexicans socialize with the landlord. I strongly believe it has to do with education, as I was asking the kids, mexicans, this morning ie if you were asked for directions for a place that you didn't know, would you give directions anyway? The answer was no, and when I asked why the answer was that it would get them lost. I went further and asked if just to be polite, giving, respectful or any other good thing they would give directions, the answer was still no.
This all has convinced me of inviting my children to be guests tonight at the radio show and the topic will be that cultural fun stuff. They are dual citizens, they have lived in both countries, have gone to school in both, have relatives in both, watch both language television shows and so on. So tune in and find out how it turns out. Thank's Iflyfish for the idea.

DanO - 11-29-2006 at 03:12 PM

SAT question and answer:

"Osprey is to concise and insightful social commentary as DanO is to hamfisted and self-absorbed anecdotes."

Wow. Nail, meet your hammer. His name is Osprey.

Iflyfish - 11-29-2006 at 06:14 PM

May I call you Longlegs?,

I like what you have to say about the importance of understanding differences. I am struck by how the cultural differences discussed so far mirror the differences between men and women.

We do seem to be having a productive dialogue about this topic. Maybe the important thing is to acknowledge that as you say “The definition of “different” certainly doesn’t infer bad, odd, weird, inferior or any other negative connotation; it simply means not the same”. Defining conflict or clashes in terms of differences allow for at least a neutral stance that is at least not divisive or derisive.

I have found myself hitting a wall, so to speak, in Mexico dealing with these differences. I inevitably become frustrated that something that I wanted or expected to happen simply did not happen and the cumulative affect of that is that I have a blow out. I then seem to somehow let go and then things are better. Buffett style, I take another breath and let it go. I am coming to believe that the letting go is one of our most important challenges in life. Buddhists say that the holding on is what causes the pain and keeps us out of the NOW.

Iflyfish when not pondering these things, though I sometimes even ponder them while flyfishing

Bruce R Leech - 11-29-2006 at 06:25 PM

I think fly fishing is a good outlet. especially if you are alone?

DanO - 11-29-2006 at 06:31 PM

The problem with fly fishing is that it's really hard to hit the little ******** in the air with a hook. Even if you can, they are damn hard to filet, and it takes several hundred to make a decent meal.

Or are you supposed to use the flies to catch fish? Ohhhhhh . . . .

[Edited on 11-30-2006 by Hose A]

Iflyfish - 11-29-2006 at 06:32 PM

jdt,

I am glad you are engaging your students in this discussion, I can hardly wait to hear the outcome.

What do you thing of jdtrotters post below?

"One student with a Mexican mother and a German- American father used to tell me about family gatherings and how she was torn between the two cultures. When she was with dad's family, the children all behaved quietly and proper, as did the adults---usually a rather quiet affair. Then with her mother's family, it was louder, wild, and a lot more fun for children and adults, but for her, sometimes embarassing when her German-American side kicked in."

I wonder if my friend Dewey, who I mentioned in an earlier post, was fighting with a part of him that was Native Mexican Indian and wanted to disown that part so insisted that he was Spanish like the German/Mexican kid mentioned above?

I am both German and Icelandic by heritage. As a kid I felt proud of my German heritage and felt embarrased about my Icelandic side. My Icelandic relative seemed very backward to me. For example they resisted rural electrification because they feared that something would jump out of the wire if it was put in their house. They were convinced to put indoor power in by the Rural Electrification people. They brought with them the biggest auger that had ever been seen in those parts and were promised the deepest pit toilet they had ever seen if they electrified. That did it, they got juice. At the other end of the spectrum was my German side of the family that started the local electric company.

I think it is really hard, very, very hard to see the bone in our own nose. If I was in some areas of Borneo I would have a bone in my nose and think all those other men without them would be weird. I think our own cuture is hardest to see. I think that sometimes someone from outside can more clearly see and describe us. What do you think?

Thanks for posting on this topic.

Iflyfish when not eating tacos

Iflyfish - 11-29-2006 at 06:34 PM

DanO,

"A word to the wise is infuriating." and might I add at times appreciated.

Icatchfliesandfishwiththem

Iflyfish - 11-29-2006 at 06:36 PM

Bruce,

You are truly a bad man!

Iflyfish in public

Bruce R Leech - 11-29-2006 at 09:20 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Iflyfish
Bruce,

You are truly a bad man!

Iflyfish in public




why:O:(:?:

Iflyfish - 11-29-2006 at 10:06 PM

Bruce,

"I think fly fishing is a good outlet. especially if you are alone?"

Is it only me that read it that way?


Iflyfish

Iflyfish - 11-29-2006 at 10:26 PM

Lencho wrote:

"With due respect, language is a great part of culture and to "only to speak it [Spanish] in the most rudimentary form" makes it hard to see the world through others' eyes. If you have the opportunity, I'd highly recommend delving deeper..."

--Larry

Your point is very well taken. So much of culture is encased in language and use of it. I have tried when ever possible to keep my rudimantary Spanish alive in the Pacific Northwest. I doubt there is enough time left this time around to become much more proficient than I am. I look forward to immersing myself in the language again in a couple of weeks when I return to Mexico. I love hearing Spanish. In Puebla the Spanish sounds like they are singing. Must be like the southern "twang" one hears in the southern UsofA.

I have been fortunate enough in my career to have had enough Spanish to be able to help some Spanish speakers in various situations here i.e. assisting with bank transactions, directions and even some situations in schools where I consulted. I am glad that I have had enough to develop rapport and to facilitate some difficult situations. However I have always been conscious of and somewhat embarrased about my lack of mastery of the language. I am pleased to have been able to at least in some minimal way repay the kindness shown me in Mexico.

I have never taken a formal Spanish language class and have learned instead through interacting and travel. I have been fortunate enough to have had lots of help from people more fluent than myself. For this I am grateful. After a couple of weeks in Mexico I find myself starting to "think" in Spanish. Most Mexicans say I speak well, though I believe they are being kind and I only string words together in contexts that I am familiar with. My grammer and spelling is nill. I get something out of most interactions I hear. I think I am still at the receptive level and know that it proceeds the productive level. I hope to learn more as I am now retired.

I think you are right about learning the language. Language is the portal to learning the culture. When I ask for the meaning of a word, I learn a lot about the context of that word and thereby more about the culture.

Thanks for the observation on the significance of language in understanding culture.

Iflyfish when not searching for polabras

Iflyfish - 11-29-2006 at 10:34 PM

Hose A,

Bruce,

"I think fly fishing is a good outlet. especially if you are alone?"

Hose A

"Beats me is there more than one way to read it?

I have tried left to right and right to left."

This is getting better and better and funnier and funnier.

Ever fished for your fly in public?, dressed right or left?

Iflyfish when alone and in public and am sometimes successful in catching my fly both ways

Now stop it!

longlegsinlapaz - 11-30-2006 at 09:06 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Iflyfish
Bruce,

"I think fly fishing is a good outlet. especially if you are alone?"

Is it only me that read it that way?


Iflyfish


Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......Nope, not just you! :no::no: (((and Hose A's response suspiciously follows suit, especially with that innocent little icon he used!))):(

Bruce R Leech - 11-30-2006 at 09:18 AM

I guess I am stupid but I don't get the joke.:( I am not seeing whatever you folks are seeing in my post. did I misspell something:lol:

there is a

pacificobob - 11-30-2006 at 09:24 AM

book titled THERE'S A WORD FOR IT IN MEXICO ( a complete guide to mexican thought and culture) by boye' lafayette de mente . i cant say enough good about it.....it can save one years of figuring things out for yourself the hard way.
as for the "sure ill be at your party, or ill be there to start work first thing in the morning"...most cultures , some more than others have a really hard time delivering a bad news message. ive been flying internationally for over 20 years...ill always brief a new co-pilot on how to interpret what a mechanic is "really" saying....it can and has been a very big issue.....some cultures have a really tough time delivering news tha they think you may not want to hear.

FARASHA - 11-30-2006 at 09:38 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Iflyfish
Hose A,

Bruce,

"I think fly fishing is a good outlet. especially if you are alone?"

Hose A

"Beats me is there more than one way to read it?

I have tried left to right and right to left."

This is getting better and better and funnier and funnier.

Ever fished for your fly in public?, dressed right or left?

Iflyfish when alone and in public and am sometimes successful in catching my fly both ways

Now stop it!


:lol::lol::lol: This the thread about cultural differences? This seems to be MULTICULTURAL understanding-:biggrin:
OKAY now serious:cool:
Being from another culture myself on this board, and lived in some other cultures for years.
I have experienced lots of FUN, Frustration, Education, mostly because I tried to SPEAK not only their language - also living their Livestyle (to some limit). And that brought me respect and lifelong friends. I was faster accepted and involved in the community when displaying honest interest and respect to their way of living.
My 2 cents

longlegsinlapaz - 11-30-2006 at 09:40 AM

Dear Mr. Fish (now that your name has been permanently corrupted in my mind..........!!)

Yes, you may call me that portion of my online name...online! Thank you for your positive comments! I too can relate to occasional frustration even after 7 years! All the more reason for tolerance of cultural differences; ours are just as much an inherent part of us as any nationality's is. It's harder to divert from our inbred cultural tendencies after 50-60-70 years of living with them than it would be for a 10-year-old! It's like we don't have to consciously think to breath or blink...they're so ingrained in us, that we rarely question the whys or wherefores....it JUST IS! It's hard to walk away from 50-60-70 years of thought processes. It's programmed into us! It's like our skin, it kinda just tags along with us where ever we go...those little memory chips!! :lol: Those Buddhists were right! And our frustrations can only mirror any other different nationality's frustrations in trying to understand & accept our cultural differences from theirs! Diversity....ain't it great?!:bounce:

fdt - 11-30-2006 at 10:06 AM

Not undestanding is part of the cultural difference

FARASHA - 11-30-2006 at 10:08 AM

Longleg - you are correct about the " old habits hard dying" problem within the human beings.
But I have to disagre with the skin analogy to some degree, although it can be perfectly used for what I believe in.
As the skin is renewed on an daily basis - and within 2 weeks we have a complete NEW skin - and still ol' habits!!
Maybe we (humans) should do the same? Changing by adjusting every so often, just keeping the important features (likes the wrinkles in a faces or moles) that make us distinctive, a personality. And sheding the flaws??

Lee - 11-30-2006 at 10:09 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by pacificobob
book titled THERE'S A WORD FOR IT IN MEXICO ( a complete guide to mexican thought and culture) by boye' lafayette de mente . i cant say enough good about it.....it can save one years of figuring things out for yourself the hard way.
as for the "sure ill be at your party, or ill be there to start work first thing in the morning"...most cultures , some more than others have a really hard time delivering a bad news message. ive been flying internationally for over 20 years...ill always brief a new co-pilot on how to interpret what a mechanic is "really" saying....it can and has been a very big issue.....some cultures have a really tough time delivering news tha they think you may not want to hear.


Yes great book. And here's another one: Mexicans & Americans -- Cracking the Cultural Code. Ned Crouch. Nicholas Brealey Pub.

People everywhere have difficulty delivering bad news.

:cool:

FARASHA - 11-30-2006 at 10:16 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by fdt
Not undestanding is part of the cultural difference


Not necessarily, how often I do not understand my own culture. Every person is different, and has different experiences, devlops his own kind of culture.
I don't think we have to UNDERSTAND evreything, just respect it and not disqualify it automatically as WRONG if it dosn't match up with what we are used to.

longlegsinlapaz - 11-30-2006 at 10:32 AM

FARASHA, skin renewal; sloughing off of old cells; is something that Mother Nature performs, it takes NO conscious effort on our part. It DOES require conscious effort to shed our ingrained cultural differences. It is possible, but to me not quite as painless & effortless as your skin analogy. For me personally, it's been easier to accept the cultural differences with an occasional frustration flare-up, than it has for me to become fluent in Espanol.

Change comes very easily for some of us & not so easily for others. Just like different people have an inherently easy time learning a second (third/fourth/fifth!!!:?: ) language, while others find it very hard. I'm learning at my own pace & it's not something that comes easily for me personally! To me it's like some people have an aptitude for math or sports while others don't. I find that something that escaped me yesterday suddenly makes sense to me today:light:, and I can't figure out what took me so long! Most of the people I deal with appreciate my feeble attempts, while for others I provide comic relief!:lol:

FARASHA - 11-30-2006 at 10:48 AM

:lol: oh yeah, as I sayed - old habits ....., and I count myself in, and I agree - in some things we do fine and easy, in others we are just awful performing. But thats alright, that maks the diversity - that attracts us.:biggrin:
And language isn't everything, it's the effort we show - that counts.
I always try to keep in mind - judge others the way I want to be judged - Fair and with Acceptance:yes:

fdt - 11-30-2006 at 12:50 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by FARASHA
Quote:
Originally posted by fdt
Not undestanding is part of the cultural difference


Not necessarily, how often I do not understand my own culture. Every person is different, and has different experiences, devlops his own kind of culture.
I don't think we have to UNDERSTAND evreything, just respect it and not disqualify it automatically as WRONG if it dosn't match up with what we are used to.

In my own personal experience living with a woman from KY for 14+ tears :lol: I meant years, not understanding is part of the cultural difference.
This thread is going pretty good as compared to the put downs going on over @ the Asuncion one.;)

FARASHA - 11-30-2006 at 01:03 PM

fdt - Some people need this kind of conversation, some not. It's like with other preferences - some like Tea some Coffee.
I like cold/hot chocolate (depending on outside temps).

Iflyfish - 12-1-2006 at 12:21 AM

ftd wrote: "This thread is going pretty good as compared to the put downs going on over @ the Asuncion one."

I am pleased to hear you say that. I was hoping that we could cool down some of that heat by discussing our issues in terms of "differences" rather than “accuse/mands”, accusations coupled with demands. We have been engaged in somewhat of a social experiment by attempting to do just that. I too think that we are having some success.

I was privileged to work with a Dr. John Gottman in Seattle who ran a twenty-four year study of over two thousand couples looking at predictors of marital satisfaction and divorce. His is groundbreaking work, as prior theorists did not base their findings on research. If you are interested in his work you can find it by doing a Google search. His paramount finding was that how husbands and wives talk with each other, particularly around differences, predicts marital satisfaction and divorce. That is an interesting finding if you think of all of the variables that one hears about what makes for a good marriage. A lot boils down to how we talk with each other. Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling (I ain’t going to talk about that!) to any significant degree will predict marital problems. His view was that by taking apart conflict and identifying each persons position as a difference depersonalized the conflict and allowed for greater respect and collaboration on how to deal with those differences. I thought that Nomads might be able to discuss some of these challenging differences in a way that every one wins and we all learn

Now I think that this process is a typical Norte Americano way to approach an issue that is vexing or difficult. We study these things, take them apart, look at them, analyze them, try to make sense of how our observations fit with other things we know. We make hypothesis, guesses, test those hypothesis, and then form a conclusion that allows us to map out a plan of how to address that problem or issue. If the hypothesis is wrong, we throw it away and form another one to test. I think that this process is very different from a typical Mexican approach. I think it is more typical for a Mexican to notice the issue or problem and to see it as a natural phenomenon and not mess with it, “ne modo”, “it’s gods will”, “it is nothing I can do anything about” etc. or find some reason why it can’t work or nothing can be done about it. I am not saying one is better than the other, I am just pointing at what I perceive to be a difference. I am certain that these differenes exist for some purpose and have developed over a VERY LONG time.

Pacificobob,

I ordered the book THERE'S A WORD FOR IT IN MEXICO. Thanks for the suggestion. I have put Mexicans & Americans -- Cracking the Cultural Code. Ned Crouch. Nicholas Brealey Pub in my que. Thanks Lee.

Iflyfish when not pondering

FARASHA - 12-1-2006 at 12:46 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Iflyfish
I think it is more typical for a Mexican to notice the issue or problem and to see it as a natural phenomenon and not mess with it, “ne modo”, “it’s gods will”, “it is nothing I can do anything about” etc. or find some reason why it can’t work or nothing can be done about it. I am not saying one is better than the other, I am just pointing at what I perceive to be a difference. I am certain that these differenes exist for some purpose and have developed over a VERY LONG time.

Iflyfish when not pondering


This kind of philosophy is to be found in some other cultures as well - I was confronted with it in quite some VERY different cultures - usually when people are BELIEVERS of any Religion Or Old Cultures (mostly it goes hand in hand). The analytical solution- thinking, is more common in younger cultures, or rather secular people. What would you say FLYFISHER??
BTW I'm also familiar with Gottman's work.

Iflyfish - 12-1-2006 at 02:57 AM

Farasha wrote: This kind of philosophy is to be found in some other cultures as well - I was confronted with it in quite some VERY different cultures - usually when people are BELIEVERS of any Religion Or Old Cultures (mostly it goes hand in hand). The analytical solution- thinking, is more common in younger cultures, or rather secular people.

Interesting that you would call this a philosophy. I am not so sure it is a philosophy that we talk of here. Maybe more like the skin discussion you were having earlier with longlegs. Our acculturation becomes part of us. It is integrated into the self. I believe we are born with native capacities, the raw stuff of our neurology that sets the stage for the learning and conditioning that takes place. Brain damage or birth defects can cause people to act certain ways regardless of their upbringing. People born with Attention Deficit Disorder are impulsive because their frontal lobes are under active and do not act to inhibit behavior. Their hyperactivity and impulsivity is not a philosophy. It is a way that the brain functions in the body. I think that we are shaped by scripting from our families, culture, subculture, peer group, social class and religion. We get messages from all of these sources as to what it is to be a person in the context where we are raised. This scripting is laid down in our neurology and reaction patterns are formed. These response patterns become habitual and sometimes stereotypical.

There are people on this list who have traveled much more extensively than I and may have more to add to this discussion on this issue. I do not have a lot of cross cultural experience to relate directly to. However I think that the ways that characterize the differences between Norte Americanos an Mexicans are also found as one compares Eastern and Western Societies. I read I believe it was Suzuki, the man who brought Zen Buddhism to North America who wrote Zen Buddhism and Psychoanalysis who compared two poets describing a similar experience of encountering a flower. He compared the twelfth or thirteenth century Japanese poet Bash and Alfred Lord Tennyson. Tennyson wrote Flower In A Crannied Wall”, please excuse my crude rendition, it goes something like this, “Flower in a crannied wall, I hold you in my hand, were I to know you, root and all, I would know what God and man is”. Now Basho comes across a nazuna flower blooming by a hedge. His poem goes something like this, “Ah!! It is spring! And the nazuna is blooming by the hedge!” I believe that this comparison demonstrates one of the differences we are talking about in relation to Mexicans and Norte Americanos. Tennyson wants to take it apart and see how it works so he can understand larger principles. Basho reacts to it. He does nothing TO it. There is nothing to do. The experience is all there is. I am not saying one is better. Maybe both ways of operating in the world have utility in different circumstances. This line of thinking makes me wonder what the functional utility is of these different ways of interacting with the world. They must have survival value of they would not be so ingrained. It ain’t the water.

There are zealots and fundamentalists in all religions. There are people in all religions that take their literature specifically and concretely and those who approach these things for their symbolic value. i.e. some believe that there was literally a virgin birth while others believe there is a spiritual life that is entered into via a painful process and the myth of the virgin birth points to that concept.

The religious fundamentalist of course wants to limit questioning and exploration and does not see spiritual growth as a journey but as a destination, that one must be at or be damned. That sort of thinking is of course antithetical to analytic thinking.

I wonder what significance there is in Mexico having been a conquered nation and before that ruled by brutal regimes. I wonder what role the fact that Japan is an island and had up until recently a rigid and brutal feudal system has to play on these cultural differences. I wonder what role the wilderness and the west have played in the development of Norte Americano ways of being. What is it in German history that would end up with them developing so much science? What role does the age of a culture play in all of this? Good question.

Iflyfish when not staying up too late

FARASHA - 12-1-2006 at 09:39 AM

phi·los·o·phy (f-ls-f) Pronunciation Key
n. pl. phi·los·o·phies
Love and pursuit of wisdom by intellectual means and moral self-discipline.
Investigation of the nature, causes, or principles of reality, knowledge, or values, based on logical reasoning rather than empirical methods.
A system of thought based on or involving such inquiry: the philosophy of Hume.
The critical analysis of fundamental assumptions or beliefs.
The disciplines presented in university curriculums of science and the liberal arts, except medicine, law, and theology.
The discipline comprising logic, ethics, aesthetics, metaphysics, and epistemology.
A set of ideas or beliefs relating to a particular field or activity; an underlying theory: an original philosophy of advertising.
A system of values by which one lives

[Middle English philosophie, from Old French, from Latin philosophia, from Greek philosophi, from philosophos, lover of wisdom, philosopher. See philosopher.]

I looked up for the best definition of Philosophy - and what I meant in my post.
And I meant exactly the very last line from above - the VALUE by which a SOCIETY lives. And that is what we are dealing with, in other cultures.
F

Iflyfish - 12-1-2006 at 11:45 AM

Farasha,

"And I meant exactly the very last line from above - the VALUE by which a SOCIETY lives. And that is what we are dealing with, in other cultures."

So you believe that these differances are all learned, like a philosophy that one can study. Maybe. I can certainly see how this could be. Passed from generation to generation by instruction and modeling. Culture as a heritage of learning. Maybe. I wonder if it is also possible that these centuries of learning may have also affected the basic structure of the brain so that some of these ways of being have become hard wired? I notice that birds are all birds, but build different nests. I wonder why?

Iflyfish and build nests

Cypress - 12-1-2006 at 11:54 AM

Enjoying this exchange of ideas/thoughts about what makes us tic. :spingrin:

FARASHA - 12-1-2006 at 12:00 PM

HELLO YOUFLYFISH whn not resting - had a good sleep finally??
OKAY - NO Flyfish, it does not imply that it is LEARNED, it is a collection of Many influences I think - and each cultures devlopes its own. Has other perspectivs on things, other priorities, values.

toneart - 12-1-2006 at 12:02 PM

This is a great discussion!

Because I cannot improve on what has already been said, I will blend east/west philosophy by remarking here, and at the same time, do nothing. Well....I will continue to read this wonderful debate.

In my opinion, this is the best and highest example of what good Nomads are all about.

FARASHA - 12-1-2006 at 12:07 PM

Great that some people enjoy this thread as much!!

Osprey - 12-1-2006 at 12:35 PM

The best thread! Many Amerindians continue to follow the philosophy of Kant and Erlich. Kant, basically said "To do is to be" while Erlich espoused the view "To be is to do." I have always followed the school of Dr. Abert Francis Sinatra (the Chairman of the Board) who cleverly combined the two theories as "Do be, do be, do."

Sharksbaja - 12-1-2006 at 12:53 PM

:lol::lol: But Jorge, it's spelled Doobey Doobey Do.;) What were the chances.....we'd be sharing Baja........ before the day is thru.....

toneart - 12-1-2006 at 12:58 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Osprey
The best thread! Many Amerindians continue to follow the philosophy of Kant and Erlich. Kant, basically said "To do is to be" while Erlich espoused the view "To be is to do." I have always followed the school of Dr. Abert Francis Sinatra (the Chairman of the Board) who cleverly combined the two theories as "Do be, do be, do."


Now this string is becoming terminally hip!:cool:

Iflyfish - 12-1-2006 at 01:00 PM

Do/Be, Do/Be, Do!

I like that!

Idobedobedoflyfish

Iflyfish - 12-1-2006 at 01:02 PM

Except be careful where you doobie do and flyfish.

Iflyfishanddoobiedobedo

Cypress - 12-1-2006 at 01:10 PM

Spread your wings and fly!;) Don't worry about the doobie do, just focus on the landing zone!:lol::lol:

fdt - 12-1-2006 at 01:13 PM

With kids arownd all that I can do is Scooby Dooby Do:spingrin:

Oso - 12-1-2006 at 01:13 PM

It is possible to understand, even adapt, but extremely difficult to entirely overcome one's own cultural indoctrination. A particular trait of my dear wife and others I deal with on a daily basis, particularly my Maintenance Supervisor, is that Mexican, maybe Indian as well, necessity of laying out the background, establishing the setting, relating the history from the beginning
and dealing with all the peripheral issues before saying what it is they came to say. After all these years, I recognize what is happening and know how rude it would be to interrupt. So I smile and nod, murmur uh-huh and wait for it. But all the while, my gringo skull is about to split open from the voice within screaming "GET TO THE F***ING POINT!!!!!!!

fdt - 12-1-2006 at 01:17 PM

4th day 65 replies and no name calling. Wow, makes me proud.
saludos

Iflyfish - 12-1-2006 at 01:20 PM

I really enjoy playing with words. There are lots of double meanings in English like we are enjoying on this post. I wonder if this is common in the Mexican culture too? fdt posted a list of slang used in La Paz for various things. Do these words have double meaning?

Humor is often very difficult to understand in another language and culture. For instance sarcasm can often be confused with anger. I wonder if Mexicans feel more free to josh with each other about differences. I have been called gordo in a very friendly way, or whao? (again forgive my spelling), which I understand to be "white guy". If I called someong fat or called them by their skin color, "hey black guy, how is it going?" I might be in for a real round of the old boxeo!

Iflyfishanddobedobedo

Oso - 12-1-2006 at 01:23 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by lencho
Quote:
Originally posted by Oso
It is possible to understand, even adapt, but extremely difficult to entirely overcome one's own cultural indoctrination. A particular trait of my dear wife and others I deal with on a daily basis, particularly my Maintenance Supervisor, is that Mexican, maybe Indian as well, necessity of laying out the background,


VERY interesting. I've always thought that to be mainly gender-based...

--Larry


Nope, but you reveal your own gendercentricity in assuming that my Maintenance Supervisor is a guy. :lol: (He is.)

Iflyfish - 12-1-2006 at 01:24 PM

Oso,

Exactly. That's the stuff. I wonder if Mexicans have a similar experience of Nortes in different contexts?

Iflyfish when not scratching my head bald

Iflyfish - 12-1-2006 at 01:25 PM

Lencho,

I wonder about left vs right brain dominance?

Men are from Mars, Woman from who knows where?

Iflyfish when not in deep dobedobedo

FARASHA - 12-1-2006 at 01:27 PM

:biggrin: YES,OSO - been there, and jumped up and down inside.
BUT after some years I started to recognise - that I actually not only got used to it - I picked up some of this attitude, its a kind of a ritual. It is about TAKING TIME, and taking room for oneslf - something we consistantly moan about - the lack of it. I did become more relaxed and can lean back and do less, in the undrstanding of ZEN - LESS is MORE.
And isn't exactly THAT what we are seeking, when we come to places like BAJA???

Oso - 12-1-2006 at 01:30 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Iflyfish
Oso,

Exactly. That's the stuff. I wonder if Mexicans have a similar experience of Nortes in different contexts?

Iflyfish when not scratching my head bald


In general, "El Sajon" is considered a cold fish, devoid of emotion or passion and rude in his directness.

Minnow - 12-1-2006 at 01:41 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Iflyfish
Farasha wrote: This kind of philosophy is to be found in some other cultures as well - I was confronted with it in quite some VERY different cultures - usually when people are BELIEVERS of any Religion Or Old Cultures (mostly it goes hand in hand). The analytical solution- thinking, is more common in younger cultures, or rather secular people.

Interesting that you would call this a philosophy. I am not so sure it is a philosophy that we talk of here. Maybe more like the skin discussion you were having earlier with longlegs. Our acculturation becomes part of us. It is integrated into the self. I believe we are born with native capacities, the raw stuff of our neurology that sets the stage for the learning and conditioning that takes place. Brain damage or birth defects can cause people to act certain ways regardless of their upbringing. People born with Attention Deficit Disorder are impulsive because their frontal lobes are under active and do not act to inhibit behavior. Their hyperactivity and impulsivity is not a philosophy. It is a way that the brain functions in the body. I think that we are shaped by scripting from our families, culture, subculture, peer group, social class and religion. We get messages from all of these sources as to what it is to be a person in the context where we are raised. This scripting is laid down in our neurology and reaction patterns are formed. These response patterns become habitual and sometimes stereotypical.

There are people on this list who have traveled much more extensively than I and may have more to add to this discussion on this issue. I do not have a lot of cross cultural experience to relate directly to. However I think that the ways that characterize the differences between Norte Americanos an Mexicans are also found as one compares Eastern and Western Societies. I read I believe it was Suzuki, the man who brought Zen Buddhism to North America who wrote Zen Buddhism and Psychoanalysis who compared two poets describing a similar experience of encountering a flower. He compared the twelfth or thirteenth century Japanese poet Bash and Alfred Lord Tennyson. Tennyson wrote Flower In A Crannied Wall”, please excuse my crude rendition, it goes something like this, “Flower in a crannied wall, I hold you in my hand, were I to know you, root and all, I would know what God and man is”. Now Basho comes across a nazuna flower blooming by a hedge. His poem goes something like this, “Ah!! It is spring! And the nazuna is blooming by the hedge!” I believe that this comparison demonstrates one of the differences we are talking about in relation to Mexicans and Norte Americanos. Tennyson wants to take it apart and see how it works so he can understand larger principles. Basho reacts to it. He does nothing TO it. There is nothing to do. The experience is all there is. I am not saying one is better. Maybe both ways of operating in the world have utility in different circumstances. This line of thinking makes me wonder what the functional utility is of these different ways of interacting with the world. They must have survival value of they would not be so ingrained. It ain’t the water.

There are zealots and fundamentalists in all religions. There are people in all religions that take their literature specifically and concretely and those who approach these things for their symbolic value. i.e. some believe that there was literally a virgin birth while others believe there is a spiritual life that is entered into via a painful process and the myth of the virgin birth points to that concept.

The religious fundamentalist of course wants to limit questioning and exploration and does not see spiritual growth as a journey but as a destination, that one must be at or be damned. That sort of thinking is of course antithetical to analytic thinking.

I wonder what significance there is in Mexico having been a conquered nation and before that ruled by brutal regimes. I wonder what role the fact that Japan is an island and had up until recently a rigid and brutal feudal system has to play on these cultural differences. I wonder what role the wilderness and the west have played in the development of Norte Americano ways of being. What is it in German history that would end up with them developing so much science? What role does the age of a culture play in all of this? Good question.

Iflyfish when not staying up too late


I now know why you "fly fish".

I would love to meet you sometime. Do you live in Baja?

Cypress - 12-1-2006 at 01:50 PM

Oso!!:bounce:

fdt - 12-1-2006 at 01:50 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Iflyfish
Ifdt posted a list of slang used in La Paz for various things. Do these words have double meaning?

No double meaning necesarily, just word that are comon to the area, and there are a lot more. As a matter of fact there is a duo called Los Huizapoles that make jokes and music in Baja California Sur, making fun about the ways of life and words used in the region.

Quote:
Originally posted by IflyfishHumor is often very difficult to understand in another language and culture. For instance sarcasm can often be confused with anger. I wonder if Mexicans feel more free to josh with each other about differences. I have been called gordo in a very friendly way, or whao? (again forgive my spelling), which I understand to be "white guy".

I'ts done all the time, we call little ferna "güerito", we call my brother negro, we call their uncle gordo and so on.
Quote:
Originally posted by IflyfishIf I called someong fat or called them by their skin color, "hey black guy, how is it going?" I might be in for a real round of the old boxeo!


It could be very offensive if you say it in an offensive way, but it is very common to call someone how if of african origin, Olle mi negrito, ¿como te va?

Cypress - 12-1-2006 at 02:32 PM

There're way too many folks running around looking for a reason to be offended.:lol::lol:

Osprey - 12-1-2006 at 03:11 PM

Oso, had a friend near here with that "get to the point" problem. When I caught on to his gig I had lots of fun with him: I would
1. Slow down
2. Say things like "let me tell about this trip I took to Chicago in 92, or was it 94, no, not Chicago, Cheyenne maybe, well it was in the fall, not very hot, kinda humid for Cheyennne or Cuba really and I was with my buddy Sal, Sal and Ginny, no Ginny left him when he painted her housecoat, well anyway......

Minnow - 12-1-2006 at 03:23 PM

Has anyone ever asked a Mexican for directions? I think all above usually apply, but it ends with. "turn left at the dead dog, but, he's not dead he's resting".

just a theory

fdt - 12-1-2006 at 03:42 PM

maybe the mexican is giving good directions but the person receiving them, mexican or american doesn't know what a dead or resting dog looks like?
I've been given directions before were it goes like; turn left at Chalito Cotas house and go till you see a house were Joselito, Pancho the fishermans dad used to live and make a right till you get to were they sell tamales on christmas time, from there you go 3 blocks and make another left the corner were at Juan el carpintero's house, but his grandson Julio lives there because Juan moved to Todos Santos when the huricane hit La Paz, from there just follow the same street till you get to were the old hielera used to be and dirctly across the street is were you are going.
In this theory if you know all the characters and history you would probably find the place you are looking for.

FARASHA - 12-1-2006 at 03:51 PM

Tell you fdt - not only a Mexican way to give instruction, its in rural areas everywhere common, and tells you at the same time the History of the people and the village :lol: I always enjoyed it, to get this way directions. Gives an insight in a culture!!!

Minnow - 12-1-2006 at 03:53 PM

I don't know the characters, or maybe I do, but I am laughing my arse off. Because that is exactly how it goes. Thanks for the laugh fdt.

Cypress - 12-1-2006 at 04:02 PM

The inability to give directions is a universal malfunction shared by PHD's and all educational levels down to preschool drop-outs.:tumble::tumble: This disorder is not restricted to any geographic boundaries.:spingrin: Might be a genetic sort of thing?:tumble::D

comitan - 12-1-2006 at 06:06 PM

fdt

If you new all of that history you would not have to ask for directions.

Bajalero - 12-1-2006 at 06:39 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by fdt
4th day 65 replies and no name calling. Wow, makes me proud.
saludos


This has turned out to be a good discussion .

It is interesting to see what different opinions there are and try to put these into perspective with each individual poster only as I know them from this forum.

Ferna , you pretty much nailed it with your subsequent post (" just a theory"). Funny and true.

Provocative thread Iflyfish

lero

you are correct

fdt - 12-1-2006 at 10:23 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by comitan
fdt

If you new all of that history you would not have to ask for directions.

Iflyfish - 12-2-2006 at 12:53 AM

Minnow,

I live in Oregon but love to visit Baja. Will be in Baja over the holidays and for a month or so after. Where are you located?

I too am enjoying this dialogue. Learning some things and laughing. Always good when that can happen. I too am getting to know some folks this way and appreciate all of the posts.

If we had no interest in other people, cultures and places we would just stay home. Having such a diverse group of individuals to dialogue with is a great privilage to me and one that is unique in the history of mankind.

I have appreciated all of the help, both direct and indirect that I have recieved on this group as we plan our upcoming trip to Baja. Doors have opened and questions have been answered. One cannot ask for more.

fdt and farasha,

My formative years, birth to eight, were on a farm in North Dakota. That is in the northern USofA and in what is called The Great Plains. The land is flat as a tortilla. Directions were always given in relation to landmarks. "Go to the red barn, turn left for about a mile till you see a large windmill on your left, turn right" etc. I still find myself navigating in cities this way. I find now that most people around me now give directions in terms of street names and numbers i.e. "go to third, hang a left at Main" etc. I love the "turn left at the dead or sleeping dog".

I have been to remote areas of Mexico where the native people have come up to me and touched my skin or hair. I was once told in a remote village that the people wanted to know if I was a ghost. I wonder if sometimes these lengthy conversations are a way to stay engaged and maybe learn something more about these ghosts, or simply just to prolong the time unique experience.

fdt's post about directions if that it relates to people and relationships. Most people in the world relate to each other in the context of these kinship bonds. Who is related to who and how is everything.

My brother and I once went back to North Dakota to a funeral on each side of our family. We had both a maternal and paternal grandparent die in the same week. We were to be pall bearers in the funerals. We drove there from California. Neither of us had been back there for over twenty years. In the two weeks we were there no one ask me what I did for a living. We entered a bank and each cashed two hundred dollar checks and they did not ask for ID. We told them our names, not particularly important, nor famous names, but they all knew exactly where we fit in the family and the community. It would have been an insult for them to have asked us for ID and had they done so they would have risk doing business with the entire family. This is the way most people in the world operate. Kinship is king. Know the relationships and you know who they are, or at least most of what is important to know.

I appreciate all of the sharing that is going on. What a gift.

Farasha, why do you think Iflyfish?

fdt - 12-2-2006 at 01:14 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Iflyfish
We entered a bank and each cashed two hundred dollar checks and they did not ask for ID. We told them our names, not particularly important, nor famous names, but they all knew exactly where we fit in the family and the community. It would have been an insult for them to have asked us for ID and had they done so they would have risk doing business with the entire family. This is the way most people in the world operate. Kinship is king. Know the relationships and you know who they are, or at least most of what is important to know.

Por fin, finaly, you got it, that simple, not complicated, just plain, easy, the way it is, simple. We like to complicate stuff but we don't need to, we like to own things but we don't have to, we like to show off, but why?
Just keep it simple, breathe the air, different than the one at home huhhh. Drive slower, so what if they are honking in the back? I find that even living in México (Tijuana), when I take that hwy 1 south, I need to be in a different mood. TIJUANA DOES NOT FIT SOUTH OF ROSARITO and even worse making that sharp left at Mama Espinoza, es otro mundo, it's another world. I don't know if it has happened to others here, but as soon as I make that left I've made it to Baja. The one we like to talk about, the one that gives us that (best described by my amigo David K) Baja Fever. The gateway to BOLA, Cocos, Loreto, La Paz, and all those in between places like Bruce's.
Past midnight, gotta go, Mrs ferna calling
saludos

Wow

fdt - 12-2-2006 at 01:20 AM

90 posts, almost 1400 views and still no name calling.
PUTA, QUE MACHIN.
Si estubiera en La Paz, le daria 3 vueltas al Malecon de adrede, solo de la P-nchereputaemocion, Me verahquesimanito.

Sorry fish

Sharksbaja - 12-2-2006 at 01:24 AM

I have no idea how that quote got your name on it.


Quote:
Originally posted by fdt
I find that even living in México (Tijuana), when I take that hwy 1 south, I need to be in a different mood. TIJUANA DOES NOT FIT SOUTH OF ROSARITO and even worse making that sharp left at Mama Espinoza, es otro mundo, it's another world. I don't know if it has happened to others here, but as soon as I make that left I've made it to Baja. The one we like to talk about, the one that gives us that (best described by my amigo David K) Baja Fever. The gateway to BOLA, Cocos, Loreto, La Paz, and all those in between places like Bruce's.


So it is a different world so of El Rosario, but I also see and feel major social and cultural differences after the first chkpoint heading so of Ensenada.



[Edited on 12-2-2006 by Sharksbaja]

Iflyfish - 12-2-2006 at 01:36 AM

Hmmm, not my quote:
Quote:
Originally posted by Iflyfish
I find that even living in México (Tijuana), when I take that hwy 1 south, I need to be in a different mood. TIJUANA DOES NOT FIT SOUTH OF ROSARITO and even worse making that sharp left at Mama Espinoza, es otro mundo, it's another world. I don't know if it has happened to others here, but as soon as I make that left I've made it to Baja. The one we like to talk about, the one that gives us that (best described by my amigo David K) Baja Fever. The gateway to BOLA, Cocos, Loreto, La Paz, and all those in between places like Bruce's.

Iflyfish

Osprey - 12-2-2006 at 07:32 AM

Once I got lost looking for an old Navy buddy in a small town in Mississippi. About half way across an old bridge I saw a young girl sitting on the bridge railing; I stopped and said "How do I get to Vine Street?"
She said "it's across the bridge." I asked "how far?" She replied "All the way across."

FARASHA - 12-2-2006 at 09:02 AM

FLYFISHER - wild guessing over my afternoon coffee, I think youflyfish for same reason IDIVE ?

I'm amazed as fdt, this thread is turning out great. And the different opinions are respected, and not run down!!
And the cultural differences are not really that big - as we hear.
The common base it seems is the same everywhere, in places away from the bustling big towns -KINSHIP/Friendship, simplicity, humor.
And where Less is More.

Thats the way I see and feel it. In Baja, and similar places.

[Edited on 2-12-2006 by FARASHA]

Ahhhhhhh!

Baja Bernie - 12-2-2006 at 02:06 PM

I just simply watch and listen and with patience we have no difficulty in understanding each other.

When we do come to some sort of impasse we just laugh and move along and then come back to that minor problem if we 'mutually' agree that it is important enough to address.

.As I said in a book, "Expose yourself to a culture (Mexican) that will teach you how to relax and enjoy yourself and those around you. Learn that time is only your friend if its passing adds to your enjoyment of life."

Another way of looking at this cultural thing is perfectly expressed by Antonio Munoz..................."You know, in Baja,when a Mexican finds a beautiful beach, he does not keep it to himself--he needs to share it......with a friend....................."

FARASHA - 12-2-2006 at 03:21 PM

.......sharing it with a friend -Q: How many of us do have A FRIEND amongst the native Baja population?? That would share with you some knowledge. How did it happen you became friends?

DENNIS - 12-2-2006 at 04:05 PM

Right on----
Big difference between friend and aquaintence.

Minnow - 12-2-2006 at 04:17 PM

I found one and married her in 2003.:lol:

I have never stopped learning, and she has never stopped teaching. I am still the better fisher though. Ohh, I hope she doesn't read that. My wife, 23rd, nov 2006. Her first Yellowtail.

For some reason this softeware won't take my uploads. It says the are over 50kb. They are only 17. Well, thats why no picture.

[Edited on 2-12-2006 by Minnow]

[Edited on 3-12-2006 by Minnow]

DENNIS - 12-2-2006 at 04:21 PM

Minnow---
Sounds as though you both had a nice catch.

jerry - 12-2-2006 at 04:33 PM

with 100 posts as to the coultral differences it has gone full ciricle and has really ended up there not differences there liknessess
most of the people doing there best for themselves and others
most people try there best to be accepted to give what they can
it may happen in a different way with a different outcome but i think the intentions are one in the same

DavidT - 12-2-2006 at 04:38 PM

What if the road doesn't have a left turn at the sleeping dog?

Iflyfish - 12-2-2006 at 05:19 PM

Jerry,

I think there are real differences between cultures as well as between people. We are fortunate that there are on this board people like you describe who are “people doing there best for themselves and others most people try there best to be accepted to give what they can it may happen in a different way with a different outcome but i think the intentions are one in the same". There are also people out there who are robbing and taking life. I am pleased that most, if not all on this board are as you describe.

So in terms of intention, I would agree with you that most people want to do well towards others. I believe we are motivated by self-interest and eventually most get it that it is in my interest that your needs be met as well as my own. It also dawns on most people that cooperation trumps competition when it comes to survival of the species.

I do however think that there are real cultural differences that exist even among those on this site. Our dialogue reflects this. I believe this to the extent that I have even postulated that perhaps different cultures have evolved over time in such a way that genes have modified to adapt to their environment. I am starting to add weight to the nature side of the nature vs nurture debate, at least in regard to this issue. I really believe it is both that influence behavior, but the nature part is hardest to swallow because of its implications related to free will. I continue to be curious about the views of others on this topic.

Ilfyfish

Minnow - 12-2-2006 at 05:42 PM

I can answer you well though out post with one or two sentences.

To fish is to be alive.

All fishermen are the same, no matter where I have found them, eternal optomists. Language, nationality, cutlure play no role.

What does that have to do with cultural differences? 99.9 percent of human dna is the same. Culture is taught, things are learned, you covet that which you see every day.

Is that two sentences?

sylens - 12-2-2006 at 06:05 PM

i too, am thoroughly enjoying this discussion without venom. wow. feels good.
my two cents: we humans are so much alike as to be indistinguishable from each other--from a distance. from a distance, our planet is a gorgeous blue ball--homogeneous. as one draws closer, one begins to see the contours and the different shades until up close (and personal) we recognize the starkly different shapes. or, with people, the closer we get to them, the more we can be aware of the differences. i say can, because we don't always choose to be aware of or deal with differences.

also, i think we "see" (focus on) sameness or difference, depending on our situation (context) and goals. when all is at peace, we have the luxury of acknowledging and exploring our differences. when we are under siege, (at war) we tend to develop and us vs them attitude toward the ones from whom we are under siege. and "us" become, in our view, more similar to each other than to any of "them."

i'm way over-generalizing, but it is my way of reconciling my sense that we are so tremendously similar (99.9???% shared dna) and yet indescribably unique. and yes, i think cultural similarities/differences fall in the same boat. looked at from some perspectives, it is amazing how all societies have developed cultures to deal with the same issues. but from another perspective, it is wondrous to enjoy the dramatically different way cultures have done this. and i'm using "cultures" in the broadest sense, because as fdt and others mention, rural living is a culture unto itself.

this discussion is similar to one often held about gender differences. are men and women more alike or more different? my best answer: both. we are totally alike and totally different. depends what you're focusing on.:lol:

anyhow, really enjoying this discussion and hoping we can keep it respectful and fun:tumble:

jerry - 12-2-2006 at 06:12 PM

hea minnow i think you got somthing there??
oops just just a minnow:lol:::lol::lol:

FARASHA/Dennis

Baja Bernie - 12-2-2006 at 06:19 PM

"That would share with you some knowledge. How did it happen you became friends?"

"Big difference between friend and aquaintence"


Well, I guess that when you are as isolated as a few of us gringos and a like number of Mexicans were when we first met we learned quickly to learn from each other and to rely on our neighbors, regardless of language, when either needed help. We worked together and played together. My friends in the area were far more than aquaintences--they were like family. Three generations and counting have been my friends. I can stop Kio's grandkids and ask them for some help or to give their moms or grandmoms a message and know that it will be delivered.

I guess you can say that I have been blessed far more than the average gringo in my relationships with the Mexicans that I have known.

I guess I will just leave it at the fact that the stories I am posting, in Back to Baja, will reflect these relationships that were nurtured over a period of 45 years and I still visit with my friends who taught me so much.

Osprey - 12-2-2006 at 06:23 PM

Sylens, well put. Perspective is important. I take a lot of photos -- now digital, for years 35MM, medium and large format. No pictures of people. When someone would ask "why no people?" I would answer (without thinking) "they are very similar subjects one to the other; they don't belong out of doors, they hide what is more interesting to the eye and mind, how wondrous the difference in subjects is in a photo of a shrimp and a coral, a tree and a cloud -- people just can't compete."
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