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wilderone
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3779
Registered: 2-9-2004
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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was great.
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Cypress
Elite Nomad
Posts: 7641
Registered: 3-12-2006
Location: on the bayou
Member Is Offline
Mood: undecided
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TW! 
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bajalera
Super Nomad
Posts: 1875
Registered: 10-15-2003
Location: Santa Maria CA
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It never rains in San Diego in September. Every time we came out of it and into a store, dribbling little streams of water, the natives told us that.
We finally got to the Mexican consulate for tourist cards, where the only person in sight--a middle-aged woman wearing dangling earrings and a week's
supply of makeup--was not pleased that her phone cal was l interrupted by having to fill out forms for eight bedraggled looking people.
We left the office and were walking down the hall, tourist permits in hand, when my husband took a good look at his. Although he had put archaeologist
as his profession, our lady of the dangling earrings had converted this to "agricultor." Which made sense, sort of, since he had put "field work" as
the purpose of his trip.
While he was arranging for a correction, I looked at my own permit. My last job before we left Florida to drive to Baja was making maps, so I had
entered my profession as cartographer.
The permit said I was a "caracaratulista." I had expected a word that looked like it was based on Greek, but oh well. It must have come from some
other language--Arabic, maybe.
When we got to La Paz and people asked me if I worked, I said, "Si, soy caracaratulista." Nobody asked me about maps, but I attributed this to the
fact that I knew so little Spanish that talking with me was too much like work.
Then one day, while browsing through my Velazquez dictionary, I came across the word "caracaratulista." Translation: mask-maker.
Caracaratulista has such a nice ring to it that I've always been sorry I had to give up this profession. But I don't have the slightest idea of how to
go about making masks.
\"Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest never happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.\" -
Mark Twain
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jerry
Super Nomad
Posts: 1354
Registered: 10-10-2003
Location: loreto
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why are mermaids covered with sea shells??
jerry and judi
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jerry
Super Nomad
Posts: 1354
Registered: 10-10-2003
Location: loreto
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because B shells are too small
and D shells are too big
jerry and judi
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DanO
Super Nomad
Posts: 1923
Registered: 8-26-2003
Location: Not far from the Pacific
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ROTFLMAO!!!!!
No question about it, TW wins (so far). You just can't beat a good fart story.
\"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.\" -- Frank Zappa
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Paulina
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3810
Registered: 8-31-2002
Location: BCN
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I sure hope that Dern doesn't read that fishy-fart story as it would blow the cover off of my plan for our next trip.....
Very funny, and I can't even tell him about it, cause I want to try it myself!
P<*)))><
[Edited on 29-9-2006 by Paulina]
\"Well behaved women rarely make history.\" Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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bajalera
Super Nomad
Posts: 1875
Registered: 10-15-2003
Location: Santa Maria CA
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From Harper's August 2006 Index:
"Price, from a North Carolina Company, for a charcoal-filled seat cushion that absorbs the odor of flatulence: $21.95
\"Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest never happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.\" -
Mark Twain
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Diver
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4729
Registered: 11-15-2004
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Now that you're on to farts;
One of my first trips down in college, there were 4 guys and one girl packed into a '64 Chev heading down the road. We drive into the evening heading
for Ensenada and things finally get quiet.
With sudden fury, someone's supernatural fart gases reached our noses.
"Euww", I said, "who did that ? open a window". In turn, each of the guys responded in kind, leaving the redfaced young lady in the back seat very
silent.
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M
Nomad
Posts: 392
Registered: 8-30-2002
Location: Laguna Niguel, CA.
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Mood: looking for joy...
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I HAVE ONE OF THOSE!!!
It was one of the best $20 I have ever spent! A remote controlled fart machine. I put sticky clay on the back of mine and then I stuck it under
chairs. I had my mom, stepdad and some other friends over for dinner one night, Jack, (my stepdad) is a typical Texan smartass who has played numerous
jokes on all in our family over the years.
Everybody was enjoying dinner, then at a pause in the conversation, I let one rip from Jack's chair. He thought it was my mom and my mom KNEW it was
him. Nobody else said anything. After a few minutes, I let loose another one, and mom let loose with her elbow in Jack's ribs! I was doing my best to
keep a straight face but was loosing that battle. Jack looked over at me and I gave him a dirty look, which actually covered for my facial
contortions. I waited till desert to let it loose again, and it was the loudest! Everybody is giving everybody dirty looks, but still nobody said
anything. I was amazed. It wasn't untill I was in the kitchen and I hit that button 3 times. John, one of our friends jumped back from the table and
said Jesus Jack! WHAT is your problem! Jack had no idea and HE thought it was somebody else. I thought my jig was up so I hit the button a couple more
times and this time EVERYBODY jumped up from the table. (I was peeing myself in the kitchen). Everybody was doing the "I thought you did it", "no I
thought John did it", No,No, it's JACK....or Jan...
I lost it at this point and was ROTFLMAO! Maybe I'll bring it on the baja cactus bus...
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TMW
Select Nomad
Posts: 10659
Registered: 9-1-2003
Location: Bakersfield, CA
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M, that's a really good one. You had me in tears.
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baitcast
Super Nomad
Posts: 1785
Registered: 8-31-2003
Location: kingman AZ.
Member Is Offline
Mood: good
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It was a nice warm day,cool breeze coming off the water
and I and the wife were taking a little noon day nap,under
Papa,s cabana life was good,I was nearly asleep when my wife tapped me on the shoulder and said" someone is coming
wake up.
I turned to see a group of horsemen heading straight
into camp,six on horseback and one in a jeep,all of them were armed to the teeth a very tough looking bunch to say the least,where can I hide the wife and kids? what should I do?
It was in the mid sixties and there was,nt much traffic in those days so this was very uncommon,they came right up to our camp,I,m sure
they could see how uneasy
I was,I couldn,t understand a word they saying so I just smiled.
About this time PaPa came out of his place and started talking to the guys,It seems they were looking for
some guy who had been stealing stuff,and had beaten some
guy nearly to death in Puertcitos,and then I heard one say in
perfect english "and we don,t need no stinking badges" it took me a min. to realilize what he had said then it was laughs all the way around and the
world was good again.
BAITCAST
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Paulina
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3810
Registered: 8-31-2002
Location: BCN
Member Is Offline
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For M and TW
Why not make your halloween a gas! Also available in adult sizes.....
Both of your posts had me in tears!
\"Well behaved women rarely make history.\" Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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Diver
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4729
Registered: 11-15-2004
Member Is Offline
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But Paulina, have you ever tried getting a fart into one of those things ?!
oops, needed my glasses to see the kid face.
Actually, I have lots of clothes that work like that !!
.
[Edited on 10-1-2006 by Diver]
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Phil S
Super Nomad
Posts: 1205
Registered: 10-28-2003
Member Is Offline
Mood: After 34 years. Still in love w/ my wife
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The best I thought was the blond that was so upset, because she got stuck on an escalater for two hours until the electricity came back on!!!!!
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jerry
Super Nomad
Posts: 1354
Registered: 10-10-2003
Location: loreto
Member Is Offline
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my friend has sleep apnea and sleeps with a mask with a mechine that pressures his air intake to stop his airway from closing off
anyway he got a new 5th wheel with all the bells and whistels whent (camping) the mechine intake was on the floor so were the dogs one dog fart and
the camping trip was fouled he spit and sputtered for 3 days lol
jerry and judi
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