I started to post this as a reply on another thread, regarding an all too frequent dynamic. Perhaps it is worthy of a separate thread, so as not to
call out any individual(s) for their online behavior. We have all done it, at one time or another, toward each other. Most of the time it is
inadvertent, unconscious behavior. Less frequently, it is deliberately aggressive behavior (some "bone to pick" with another member).
I believe that it is a human reaction to blame the victim and attribute fault. It is comforting and anxiety-reducing to believe that "it can't happen
to me". By attributing fault to the victim of accident, misfortune, robbery, extortion, etc., we alleviate our own sense of anxiety and disown our
fallibility.
To provide an out of context extreme example: A rock climber rappels off the end of their rope and is severely injured or dies. The initial reaction
from other climbers often lacks empathy for the victim and family. The anxiety reducing thought is, "What an idiot! I always tie a stopper knot in the
end of the rope when I can't see it reach the ground." Personally, I find it challenging to have empathy when I read about a victim of heat stroke who
intentionally went to Badwater, Death Valley in July just to witness a thermometer peaking at 130F.
The examples on this forum are usually less extreme, and our reactions tend to follow the same callous behavior:
"They shouldn't have driven at night" probably takes first place.
"He shouldn't have flashed his money" (or should have kept it hidden, or not carried cash).
"She shouldn't have traveled alone."
"That's what he gets for not checking the lug nuts". (or other maintenance issues)
"Shouldn't have been in that part of town".
"If he'd had a guard dog (or alarm, or camera, or weapon), it wouldn't have happened."
Por favor, amigos. Let's try to refrain from "blaming the victim". Instead of piling on more blame in our replies, let's call out the victim blaming
or shaming when we read it.
I also suggest that we refrain from quoting the offending member when we call out victim-blaming behavior. That gives the offender an opportunity to
consider their prior choice of words and edit their reply. There is no need to shame the offender either, when there is a learning opportunity.
The member who is brave enough to post on this forum may feel shamed or bullied. The end result will be a diminishing number of posts and a declining
membership.
We have a unique and valuable wealth of information in the searchable history on Baja Nomad. Let's keep it viable by respecting our members.
Gracias y saludos a todos. |