BajaNomad

For all Baja Neatniks

Osprey - 6-15-2005 at 06:11 PM

Coming Clean




It won't be necessary to name names. You know who you are. We sure as hell know who you are; we know everything about you. Perhaps this is the perfect time for somebody to speak up, tell the truth, even if it hurts.
We see the silent little shudders you make when you see beach sand all over the bottom of our boats. We feel the hair going up on your neck when you spy some dried fish blood on the transom that somebody missed. You feel so superior when you notice that some of our rods, reels show some corrosion.
It's the same way at the house, the garage, when you look at our tools, our yard, trucks, cars. That sort of "isn't that awful" look and posture of disdain. You can't help it. You can't help being neat, fastidious any more than you can keep from breathing. Some of you may even think being neat is a kind of "manly" thing. Most of us think it's a feminine trait; we see you as being sensitive and subjective, sometimes judgmental. Usually you're quiet about your disrespect, your pity.
You hate us. Admit it, you think we're "slobs". You're thinking "that guy really doesn't care about his equipment/truck/fishing gear. Maybe he doesn't even see the dirt, the rust. Maybe to him it's invisible. God, I couldn't live like that."
We are Hate Free. We exist to make you feel superior. And we DO know the difference, we see everything. We just don't go all to pieces about it. We see it. That black/purple spot in the bed of my truck is some marlin blood from a big striper I caught two years ago. Oh, I could really get down, pick at it, scrape it up but I haven't because when I see it I can almost relive the day. There's a little black thing that looks like part of a big spring lodged in the hinge of the tailgate of the old Ford. It's not a piece of metal, it's part of a tentacle of the biggest gosh darnned squid I ever caught; more than six feet long, probably 70 pounds; 1997 or 98 I think it was. These are not just spots, they're memory markers....wash them away and you lose all the precious memories of the adventure.

While you're watching THIS OLD HOUSE on TV, we're watching BILL DANCE FISHING. While we're kickin back, relaxing, you're on a tear. You have somehow hooked your self-esteem up to just how clean and neat your things are, your life is. You hustle about keeping things shipshape; still carrying all that hate, disdain around with you.
All your spotless trucks (you washed the paint off them), your polished reels, gleaming lacquered rods, your shining boats and motors set us apart, draw a deep line in the sand that you can feel good about. You can fail in business, be a failure as a parent, a husband, a neighbor, fail to find the freedom and joy of retirement , BUT, as long as all your stuff shines you can feel good about yourself --- all because of us.
On the economic front, you spend more money on cleaning solvents, soap, wire brushes, etc. We hold up our end at a higher level, forced to buy new things, the old ones fall into disuse because of deferred maintainence. In fact, we are more likely to have two of the same tools; neither one works well because they are rusty -- you have only purchased one and it still shines -- there's a whole world of merchandising out there that we alone created. We are undoubtedly the inspiration for all "two for one", "buy one, get one free", and "bonus" sales.
So there you have it. Our sanity is intact, our leisure hours are each, a full sixty minutes. Our knives are not quite as sharp as yours but can cut bait and line. We'll thank you to remember that, if and when your frustrations overboil. You couldn't mount much of an organized military campaign against us -- too busy putting everything in slots, neat little rows, codifying, color-coding, sealing, establishing re-order protocols.
As a piece of friendly advice,(long overdue, if you ask me), when you have everything you own sealed, tagged, filed and lined up; when you can't find one more solitary thing that needs de-rusting, painting or polishing, when your anxiety is at it's all-time peak, spill a little something on the floor (some blood from a big old marlin, if you've got it).....then just leave it.

Dave - 6-15-2005 at 06:22 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Osprey
That black/purple spot in the bed of my truck is some marlin blood from a big striper I caught two years ago. Oh, I could really get down, pick at it, scrape it up but I haven't because when I see it I can almost relive the day. There's a little black thing that looks like part of a big spring lodged in the hinge of the tailgate of the old Ford. It's not a piece of metal, it's part of a tentacle of the biggest gosh darnned squid I ever caught; more than six feet long, probably 70 pounds; 1997 or 98 I think it was.



Stinky!!!

I'll bet no one will steal your truck.

bajalou - 6-15-2005 at 06:48 PM

Well said, Osprey

I sure don't want to wear the paint out on my stuff by washing it.

:tumble::spingrin:

Bruce R Leech - 6-15-2005 at 08:05 PM

wow that is cool I think that may have been the best thing I have read this year. Thanks Thanks and thanks again.

Osprey

Baja Bernie - 6-15-2005 at 08:14 PM

This stuff you have been posting here is far and away better than the story you sent me. Really great stuff. Some one else said it--put this all together in a book.
Your insite into people is truly showing through with these posts.

Dave - 6-15-2005 at 08:31 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by bajalou
I sure don't want to wear the paint out on my stuff by washing it.


And the added layers of dirt protect the finish. It's a scientific fact! Look it up.;D

Me No - 6-15-2005 at 08:42 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Bruce R Leech
wow that is cool I think that may have been the best thing I have read this year. Thanks Thanks and thanks again.



DITTO. I am speachless. Maybe for the first time.:lol::lol:

I have a few friends to send this too.:O

Dave: I have empirical evidence of that.:lol:

[Edited on 6-16-2005 by Me No]

yankeeirishman - 6-15-2005 at 08:48 PM

I dont bother buying books at Tower Books anymore....the stories here are far superior! You story Sir...has a spinal cord to it.

Skipjack Joe - 6-15-2005 at 09:44 PM

I'm convinced that all 'neatniks' are mentally ill.

Anyone see the biography of Joan Crawford? An extreme neatnik.

Yet they often do well in society. Probably because they are driven.

Thanx Osprey

Sharksbaja - 6-15-2005 at 11:51 PM

I'm saved! I love all my dirty crap too!

bajalera - 6-16-2005 at 05:42 PM

Sheesh, Osprey! Get yourself a different woman.

Don Jorge - 6-17-2005 at 04:32 AM

Osprey, you are cracking me up! Nice stories. I am guilty of keeping my boats and equipment clean, maintained and safe, but not my workshop, house or life. After all, one must establish priorties.
Peenchi neatniks!

Eli - 6-17-2005 at 10:11 AM

Osprey, I salute you. I am among the not so great maintence folks; When I see a big house, I wonder who doing all the sweeping and mopping all those floors, who?s stuck washing all those windows. I like things kind of neat, but I don't wanna expend much time on it, so I keep my spaces small and simple.

Anyway, your comments took me back to Pop's trailer, sure you have been there. Remember his stacks of books, ah yes and his computer, the mouse and keyboard from hell, black smudged, dusty smokey mess that I loved.............sigh, yes, those are the best of memories.

Mike Humfreville - 6-17-2005 at 10:44 AM

The last time my reels were polished or my rods lacquered was on the floor of the sporting goods store before they were sold. Every scrape and marred surface lofts an old memory. What would life be without the clutter of fading remembrances?

pappy - 6-18-2005 at 05:33 PM

good to know i am not alone(and mexitron) some people see my well used,, fully crusty and caked with "leftovers" camp stove and cringe-i just laugh......:D

bajaden - 6-18-2005 at 06:17 PM

Osprey, you sly dog. I had no idea you had met my ex-wife. Well, gatta go, I have a bunch of cleaning to do.

Karma

Bajame - 6-18-2005 at 06:39 PM

Must of been a neat freak in my last lifetime as this life I can't stand things array but wasn't given the nack to keep things organized tho I am getting better. Have friends like that tho. You know what they say about perfectionist. That's one who takes alot pains in detail and gives them to everybody else!:yes: Everytime the mess gets clean-up I can't find anything!:?: