BajaNomad - wife conversion

wife conversion

BFS - 3-18-2007 at 11:38 AM

Yes, i am a first timer here so please excuse any offences.
I am going to embark on a possibly impossible mission and wanted to get some advice from you, the experts in all things Baja. I do have a bit of experience cruising down that beloved road. Have jumped off the rocks under pristine desert waterfalls back there behind Santiago, have pulled into sweet backside barrels at razors, landed a halibut or two near Punta Arenas, watched the sun setting over a shimmering blue Pacific with whales and dolphins jumping everywhere near Bahia Tortugas, have sipped a cold one in a hammock south of Los Barriles. But my wife hates all that shi...........
And after years of trying, pleading, begging she has now reluctantly agreed on a 5 week exploratory to see what all the fuss is about.
This is a momentous occasion as it may well signify a future full of such wonderfull experiences listed above or, if handled improperly, it could lead to far fewer of the same.
There is another significant obstacle in the way: the 5 allotted weeks will be in July/August.
Im nervous, im excited, im ranting. I need advice as to how to handle this, where to go, where to stop, hike, paddle, fish, surf, dive, drink, hike, jump.
I have the rig and all necessary accessories to make this happen.
But I need you, the veterans, the expats and heroes to come through and show me your wisdom.
Where do I go?

Aq

I

bajaguy - 3-18-2007 at 11:44 AM

Ok, start her off with a few cold Pacifico's and some fresh fish tacos... :lol:

AND, I would certainally visit and stay for a few days with Shari and Juan at their place in Bahia Asuncion. They have a great place, outstanding food, fun things to do, and you can interact with the locals.

[Edited on 3-18-2007 by bajaguy]

Diver - 3-18-2007 at 12:07 PM

How far down do you want to go ??
The east side can be pretty hot in some places.
Will you be Rv'ing or hotel'ing or camping ?
Lots of options.
What do you like to do ?
Fish, beachsit, snorkel, shop, ???

Assuming you are camping or RV'ing;

Start with a border crossing at Tecate to avoid the Tijuana stress.
Camp at Potrero county park the night before crossing.
Make it down to San Quintin to either El Pabellon or the Old Mill for a night.
Then down to Bahia de Los Angeles - Daggets or Archelon
Then to Bahia Asuncion for some heat relief and fishing with Shari and Juan.
Mulege will be HOT but if you like the beach, the conception beaches will be almost empty - bring your floating rafts.
Loreto will also be hot but the ambiance and shopping appeal to many wives.
La Paz from there with many choices from La Paz;
Todos Santos or the east cape or ... ???

Let us know more and we can help more !!

.

jerry - 3-18-2007 at 12:10 PM

she has to see bay of conception but at that time of year its gona be hot but so is the fishing id tend to bounce back and forth between the east side and the west
once she gets to see what the real people of baja are like she wont be able to help her self
hopefully she will have a open mind and get her to relax
and take it sloooowly

Packoderm - 3-18-2007 at 12:22 PM

I'm not a veteran, ex-pat, or hero, but I can try to give some very general suggestions. The specifics will take care of themselves.

I would advise against making her feel that you guys are driving on and on and on. The very long drives are the most common complaints from non nomadic types. Not knowing anything about her except that she is a female adult, I propose the following plan: First - bring lots of money and don't complain when you spend it; this is a major investment in your future happiness. Ok, on with the adventure. Drive your rig to CSL alone and meet her at the airport. Drive to Todos Santos and enjoy the arts thing and the beautiful scenery nearby. If she is still game for adventure, drive to La Paz for fun and beautiful beaches if it isn't too hot. If she seems to be a beach person, drive to Cabo Pulmo (afer making online reservations at a decent place with a/c of course). Don't force her to move on until she is ready for it. Let her feel that she has a say in what is going on - even if she really doesn't (joking). If all is going well, try to work your way to Shari's (after making online reservations) and then back on home stopping at the usual fun/beautiful locations. If at any point she is getting cranky about the trip, get back to CSL and do the All Inclusive thing. If she won't go for that either, put her on the next plane and then schedule a fishing trip at the CSL harbor, drink a few beers, and worry about having fun alone on you trip home at a later point. However, if you don't have to ship her back home, you will be able to take future trips starting from California, or AZ (whatever may apply).

jerry - 3-18-2007 at 12:26 PM

pack your a real schmoozzzer but your right

Quit sniveling and...

Dave - 3-18-2007 at 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aqbluegreen
And after years of trying, pleading, begging

just do what you want to do. If you're lucky this will be your last trip...

together.

aliibike - 3-18-2007 at 01:46 PM

Baja is a place that you can't pinhole people. Folks I thought would love the place, hated it, and vice versa. I brought my wife here from our home in Maui 8 years ago for a vacation because she had never seen it. We live close to Los Frailes now. Quien sabes? The time of year isn't the best, but give her the full immersion! It might pay off.
:spingrin:

mtgoat666 - 3-18-2007 at 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aqbluegreen
But my wife hates all that shi...........
There is another significant obstacle in the way: the 5 allotted weeks will be in July/August.

She better like heat! You may not be doing your convincing at the best time of the year. I love the desert, but I avoid it during summer. July in San Pedro Martir is good, if she likes camping, but can get some T-storms that time of year. Summer is my time for alpine zones and Pacific beaches.

fdt - 3-18-2007 at 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aqbluegreen
Im nervous, im excited, im ranting. I need advice as to how to handle this, where to go, where to stop, hike, paddle, fish, surf, dive, drink, hike, jump.
But I need you, the veterans, the expats and heroes to come through and show me your wisdom.
Where do I go?

Aq

I would be nervous as to giving experts / profesionals like you advice just over a forum. I would need to plan something special :wow:

Patagonia es un lugar bellisimo, wow.
How are you arriving to Baja California? North or south?
Do you want to do stuff as in Chile?
I wish I could go to were you are. :yes:

Quote:

Originally posted by aqbluegreen
But my wife hates all that shi...........

Have her take her lap top with her

bajalera - 3-18-2007 at 04:50 PM

The Baja Atlas can give a passenger something to do--keeping track of where you are--and Norman Roberts' Baja plant guide has good info on some of the strange vegetation alongside the road. If she has an interest in that sort of stuff.

One thing we never travel the peninsula without--a good brand of lemon drops. Simple, but a pleasant treat on a long desert drive.

Wife conversion!

Litza - 3-18-2007 at 07:36 PM

#1 I am by no means as educated in all things Baja as many of the users of this site, but I did visit a few weeks ago, and am now hooked on Baja.
Before I discovered this site I read two books by Graham MacIntosh that can be found at your local library. I would especially recommend Baja by Burro...he visits many missions in Baja, writes of the history, and describes his sometimes harrowing adventures, done with just him and a burro, Mision.
I fell in love with Baja reading these books, his dealings with the people he meets along the way are magical, and having met some helpful Loretans and beyond, I understand they are truly the gift of Baja.
If she is a woman that reacts well to simple pleasures, she should be fine there. The land is unforgivingly desolate, but simply beautiful, the East side of the Peninsula and the many islands that dot the view are stupendous to gaze upon at sunrise. Paddle around them, snorkel lovingly with the creatures and hold her hand lovingly when she needs a bit of encouragement.
I hope the conversion works, and I hope you both have a marvelous time in Baja. I know I did, and I had some reservations too.

[Edited on 3-19-2007 by Litza]

Packoderm - 3-18-2007 at 09:51 PM

Soulpatch, the heat gets bad in the Yucatan that time of year as well. The humidity goes through the roof. I think the Cape region is doable any time of year except for maybe La Paz. The Pacific has good weather during the summer, but the scenery is different.

Iflyfish - 3-18-2007 at 11:41 PM

Well, since you asked, I will weigh in on this one.

People convert out of an internal experience. We can lead to water, drinking is another matter.

You have and will receive wonderful suggestions from Nomads as to where to go and what to do. There are many Mexico’s and many Baja’s. I think the issue is to listen very well. Then listen some more. What has she experienced of Mexico? What has she experienced of foreign travel? What does she like to do when she travels? What sort of hopes does she have for this vacation? What are her fears about travel in Mexico? Has she had any cross-cultural experiences with people of different cultures? Does she know any Mexicans? Listen, listen, listen.

Let go of trying to “convert her,” share experiences and time with her. Focus on “being with” her rather than so much on what you are going to do to “convert her.” Life is everywhere around us, if we are lucky we can share some of our experiences together. I would advise that you not take your “Baja Expert” with you and discover a Baja with her. Let her and you discover a new adventure.

I look around me in Mexico and see many Americans experiencing Mexico in many different ways. There is the high-end resort Mexico, where one can have a homogenized experience of Mexico that only minimally challenges us to adapt to a different place and culture. Some people like this, they are doing what is familiar i.e. laying around a pool and drinking fancy drinks with umbrellas. God bless ‘em. They love Club Med and places like this. They bring millions into Mexico each year. Some are nature lovers who get off the pavement and stay on remote beaches, islands, patches of desert etc. These people relish the experience of being in nature. There are those who want a little adventure, but not too much. I see them in Caravans of motor homes visiting one motor home park after another and the wife says “honey, can I touch a Mexican?” They go through a routine that does not expose them to the people of Mexico and they really don’t want to. They cannot understand those other people? Who have “gone native.” They are basically afraid of really experiencing something new. God bless em, they bring millions of dollars into the Baja.

From my experience in Mexico there is a continuum of experience available to the traveler that goes from living with Mexican people to never interacting with them except to take from their hand a drink. I think it would be helpful for you to listen well to your wife and what she is comfortable with. Don’t push her, don’t try to convert her, try to provide BOTH of you with a SHARED experience of discovery. You both will win with this approach. Start with where she is. One must join before one can lead. Remember your early experiences with confronting the poverty in Mexico. Remember your first experience with the infrastructure that does not work. Remember your first experience with the dust and dirt that is everywhere is Mexico. We people in the north are very focused on sanitation. How will she handle going to a place where you put the toilet paper in a waste basket after using it? Of course the USofA is unlike most countries in the world in that we have indoor plumbing that flushes away our waste. Some Norte Americano’s have a hard time dealing with this. Most of us are used to being able to drink water out of a faucet, this of course is not how it is in most of the rest of the world, Mexico included.

If this trip is about an agenda of “converting” her, you may be doomed to failure. If your goal is to SHARE and EXPERIENCE of DISCOVERY with her, then you cannot loose. If she is enjoying her time with you, the place will not be that important. These are the good old days. You have things that you have done in Baja, those are your experiences of the past. If you try to reproduce them, you will be disappointed and she will be traveling with someone who is disappointed. I would encourage you to enjoy yourself with her no matter what you do.

The biggest complaint that women have about men is that they do not listen. I would encourage you to spend this vacation doing just that. I am not assuming that you do not listen, just reminding you that this trip comes in the context of a relationship and nourishing the relationship will add to the value of the experience.

There are many wonderful books and stories of trips on this site. Diver just shared a wonderful experience of two flat tires and what happened, lots of Nomads shared their similar experiences with Mexican people. You can "discover" these postings together. Share BajaNomads with her. There are great stories and ideas here.

I have some specific suggestions.

We started our stay in Baja by staying at Estero Beach Resort in Ensenada. Great place, clean, very safe, guards on bicycles seen everywhere, great Sushi bar and restaurant that has an English menu. The estuary there is full of wonderful birds, the surf is right there. Down the street are some wonderful, clean places to eat and shop. One can easily enter into the Mexican culture there. One can also return to a "sanctuary" like this in many places in Mexico. We found a wonderful RV Park in Loreto where they served incredible Eggs Benedict for breakfast, with just a hint oc chili in the holindaise sauce, delicious! What a discovery!

Then one can go down to Asuncion and stay with Juan and Shari. Shari spends time introducing Nomads to Mexican culture and her Mexican friends and family. Juan is a great guide for fishing, diving and birding. Asuncion is on the Pacific and cooler that time of year. Juan and Shari have a lovely, modern two-bedroom house, on the beach, with all the amenities that you can stay at for a reasonable rate. They also have a rustic cabin at San Roca that is on a 12-volt system and private, like having your own beach to swim, fish etc., very romantic.

Juan and Shari have wonderful friends and relatives that really enjoy practicing their English with. We hired Lupita to do our laundry and it came back brighter and cleaner than it has ever been. Another mystery?? How did she do that??

Some Nomads have mentioned Loreto and Todo Santos. Lovely places, clean, Norte friendly places with lots to do and both either on the beach or close to it.

The Church’s have a great book on RVing in Baja. You can go over this with her and together discuss and choose places where you might want to stay. Others can recommend other books that you two can share and explore.

Have fun! Enjoy her and your new adventure together.

Iflyfish

Bedman - 3-19-2007 at 12:07 AM

Aqblue,

My recommendations are a tad shorter than some.

That time of year, stay on the Pacific side. The Cortez side is really hot and really humid in July and August (Unless she likes Hot and Humid).

Get her a copy of Ray Cannons "Baja". Let her pick the destinations.

and if all else fails, wrap your arms around her and tell her you love her more than anyplace or thing on earth.

You can't lose.

Bedman

Alan - 3-19-2007 at 06:43 AM

Remember just four little words, used two at a time as appropriate.

"Yes, Dear"
"I'm sorry"

"Yes, Dear" - Just face the facts up front and realize you will NEVER win an argument no matter how minor. Remember, you are the one who went looking for "Mrs. Right". You should have realized back then that her middle name was "Always"!

"I'm sorry" - Just throw it out there and move on. Never let her know that you have absolutely no idea why you are apologizing! It doesn't even matter. You obviously did or didn't do something that you should have or shouldn't have done so just throw it out there and move on to the next crisis and follow Iflyfish's advice. :lol:

shari - 3-19-2007 at 08:39 AM

Wow, great advice. We are looking forward to meeting you both and your wife will enjoy hangin out here with the girls...if she's into it, she can learn to make tortillas and might like meeting and seeing how mexican women live. Do keep in mind that alot of us woman (particularly those over 50) are not great in the heat...I get very cranky and just want to go home! Also the comment about long car rides was right on. Finding a nice spot and staying a few days (weeks) is the ticket so you can make friends and really get to know the place. Bring lots of reading material and if she likes to knit or whatever...there will be time for that. Most of the wives that come to visit us are happy here as we let the guys do their macho hunter gatherer thing and we go off and do what we gals like to do. It gives the couple a break from each other too. Hope all goes well...your wife can email me if she likes. After this trip she may want to come down on her own!! Viva esposas....

fdt - 3-19-2007 at 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Iflyfish
I look around me in Mexico and see many Americans experiencing Mexico in many different ways.

Iflyfish

Are they american?

fdt - 3-19-2007 at 08:51 AM

Has anyone seen their beautiful web site and the trips they do? :wow:

http://www.bluegreenadventures.com/

wife conversion.......

Shimmer - 3-19-2007 at 08:52 AM

Todos Santos would be your coolest, which is a big factor, in the summer. The earlier the better in July and August. July is great but as August begins... the weather changes thru mid august and, Septmber till mid-October... expats here tend to migrate north for good reason. The heat and the bugs..... I would hate to see things get worse for you because of the time you chose to come. The earlier the better down south......... you may want to get south first then head north towards the end of the trip. Enjoy.

Steve

fdt - 3-19-2007 at 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shimmer
Todos Santos would be your coolest, which is a big factor, in the summer.

I think they have a home in Todos Santos
http://forums.bajanomad.com/viewthread.php?tid=19646#pid1726...

DianaT - 3-19-2007 at 09:27 AM

I wish you luck. I agree with a lot of what Iflyfish said --- experience it together, but don't try to convert. Either she will like it, or she may not.

I never thought I would be traveling in Mexico until I met John. He loved Mexico, so I gave it a try. Our first trip was to the mainland---most of it by bus and they weren't those new fancy plus buses. He never pushed, just sat back and enjoyed watching me fall in love with Mexico. I do think it was a little sneaky to make sure we arrived in Oaxaca on Christmas as there is no where more beautiful or romantic than Oaxaca at Christmas time. It was the same for Baja.

But, I know lots of people, men and women, who tried Baja and will never go back. It is like the "It's just a desert" --- the wonderful desert we love. No matter what, some people will never enjoy it. IMHO, converting someone is just not possible---either it will happen or it won't.

So, since she has agreed to go, I hope that on her own, she will convert.

Best of Luck to you and as many have said, stick to the Pacific side.

Diane

wife conversion.......

Shimmer - 3-19-2007 at 09:55 AM

As an added note to my earlier enrty..... and it looks like you have received alot of very good advice....... we are property managers here in Todos Santos. July being a slow month, we have some very great places, close to the beach for very reasonable rents that time of year. Comfort will be one of your keys, using Todos Santos as a base, there is alot to do and see within 1.5 hours of here... Email rhodajacobs@yahoo.com for the info

Steve

Perfect Solution

Monia - 3-19-2007 at 10:19 AM

Take your sister instead!!!! She loves "all that s---!!! :bounce:

Cypress - 3-19-2007 at 01:16 PM

Heck, if Baja isn't her thing, let her take care of business back in the USA and you can roam around a while.

Bajagypsy - 3-19-2007 at 02:11 PM

I'm sure she will love it. If she likes to do the camping thing, do that, if she likes arts, Todos Santo's is the place to be, if she likes resorts do that. You know her likes/dislikes best so try to schedule things around that. I know that just spending time with my husband makes me happy, it may not be my "thing" what we are doing, but he does my "thing" and I know it's not up his alley. Spending time together is what it is all about.

BFS - 3-20-2007 at 08:32 AM

Hello again and thank you for all the great tips.
It seems like heat, Ascuncion, Pacific, Todos Santos, and gentle loving care are on everyones mind in this forum and i will use these to guide me on my quest.
I now realize that I should of made my request a little clearer as many of you wanted more info. in your eagerness to help out.
In short I will be in the company of my wife and 9 year old son driving south through San Diego. We will be in a white beastly Ford 4x4 that my sis has kindly purchased for me while ive been working down "south". We will have tents, backpacks, surfboards, kayaks, bikes, fishing gear, books, drawing pads, a map, 3 smiles, 5 weeks (more if it all works out) and a hunger for adventure and discovery. So camping is in, cute accomodation is in, hiking is a must, desert wildlife is a must, resorts are out, waterfalls are a must, eating a fabulous meal in a restaurant with tablecloths is just as welcome as cooking bacon on a stick in the middle of a wash in Catavina.
And we have a house in Todos Santos to rest and recoup in.
I would like to thank everyone who replied and hope to cross paths sometime, somewhere.
To BajaGuy...yes Pacificos will most likely be the first purchase south of the border, the second being tacos de pescado.
Diver...will definetely camp but not afraid to scrub up and enjoy a nice B&B either
Jerry and Judi...bounce we will.
Packoderm...great advice thank you, big drives are a pain and will try to avoid that, although sometimes.....Hey nice VW by the way. Is that the one on the looong grade into Abreojos?
Dave...

aliibike...I like full immersion, its important. And that would be "quien sabe".
mtgoat666...yes, as i mentioned before the heat is a big obstacle and will influence our every move.
fdt...yep laptop is essential for our son to watch dvds on! Thank you for the kind words about our website, my wife designed all of that and I will pass on the message to her. And yes we have a house in Todos Santos (www.todossantoshouse.com) in partnership with the above and below mentioned "sis".
Soulpatch...we stopped going to the Yucatan after they banned camping in Calakmul and started to "develop" the site. I think thats right about the time they gave the peninsula that lovely new name too.
Iflyfish....phew! sage advice from an obvious spiritual soul. Thank you and I hear you.
Bedman, short but sweet, gracias!
Alan...hmmm I do this already!!
Shari...thanks for the invite. We indeed will pay you a visit and stay "awhile". many speak very highly of you in these forums and i look forward to meeting you in that glorious bay.
Shimmer...Todos Santos will be one of our major stops as we own a home there. Thanks for the contact details.
Diane...Very kind words, thank you. Is that a dog??
Monia...very funny sis.
Cypress...if it were only that easy.
bajagypsy...If all else fails there is always Todos to fall back on.

abrazos to all.