BajaNomad - A Whale of a Tale to tell ya lads!

A Whale of a Tale to tell ya lads!

Paulina - 6-11-2007 at 04:53 PM

This morning I got an instant message from our friends JnJ who are staying out at our place in Bahia. It was a short and sweet message as she was typing from Mini Market Lizeth to tell me that there was a 60ft. dead whale that looked to be about to land on our beach. Great! I tell her to write our names on a paper plate, staple gun it to a cardon stick and poke it into the whale when it comes ashore. Claim it for the yard art! I tell her.

When reality comes back to me, Dern and I talk about it as we drive into Morro Bay to watch the surf. What if it comes to rest right where we beach launch our panga? We discuss other launching options, Diaz, Daggets, etc. Driving into town will be a pain in the nalgas, so we'll have to remove the whale. He wants to go out and buy a giant chain saw as the one we have won’t do the job. Who do we know with a back hoe and will they be willing to dig that big of hole? What if we just cover it with sand instead? It will be too heavy to drag out into the middle of the desert west of our spot. Will it lure the flies away or draw them even more. We can hope for a west wind to blow the stench the other direction….We decide the chain saw massacre sounds like our best bet.

Later this afternoon Mary Ann comes online and I shot her an instant message. She can see our spot from her house, so I asked her about the whale tale. She assures me that it’s not 60 ft. IT’S AN 80 FT. FINBACK, thankyouverymuch! She told me that Doc saw it a few days ago acting weird, so it must have been sick. They think this dead one is one and the same. She said they are not sure yet where it will come to rest, but there are a group of men who are ready to tow it out to Horse head if necessary. That is one good thing about there being more people with homes now.

In years past, if a whale beached itself it would usually stay put, unless it was in town. Today’s floater sighting reminded me of a summer night a few years back. Sitting on my patio, tiki torches lit to help keep the Aug. mosquitoes at bay, listening to Ruthie tell her whale of a tale. She was house sitting for my neighbor and came over to shoot the sheit when she noticed the whale bone collection I have. She knew of the whales that had died recently as one of them landed in her front yard, south of where our place is. I will never be able to retell her story as well as she did. You’d have to know Ruthie and her German accent, it was hilarious the way she told it.

…..She told me how she drove into town to ask her landlord to help get rid of the whale, but of course he told her there was nothing he could do. She then went to the Delgado. They came out with a few rags and some gasoline. They set the rags on top of the whale, doused them with fuel, lit them on fire and drove away. After the rags smoldered out there were a few burn marks on the whales flesh, nothing more.

She decided she would take this into her own hands and went to the task of collecting old tires from the dump. The tires were piled high on the whale, the fire was set and the whale went to burning. After the smoke cleared she found that the whale did indeed burn, but only the top half. The bottom half was semi-cooked and still there rotting away.

The only thing left to do was to try to disassemble what was left. Picture this; she was standing on the beach in front of the whale, gripping one of the rib bones in both hands above her head, while rocking it back and forth with all her might, trying to break it loose. The rib broke loose alright, pulling Ruthie along with it, face first, smack into the mass of whale goo.

With glowing tiki torches as a back light, Ruthie stood there in her brightly flowered muumuu, arms outstretched as she told of falling into the slime. (I was laughing so hard I had to cross my legs). In her German accent she re-enacted the moment when she realized what had just happened, slowly stood up, faced towards her house and yelled, “Ernest, Ernest, come quick! I’ve just fallen in ze wvale gooo!” She was covered head to toe in decomposing whale, maggots and all.(At this point I could hardly catch my breath.) Ernest hosed her off and she threw in the towel.

That night a storm came to her rescue. In the morning the whale or what was left of it was over at her neighbors for him to deal with. She said that she should write a book after that experience. Whale Removal 101. I told her how I hoped that I never have to face the same job as she just described. But, if I ever did I'd know who to come to for directions.

That year there were about 7 whales that had washed ashore, all of them caught and suffocated in gill nets. It was a sad sight. Maybe things will be different now with the new laws and rules being handed down. The gill nets are still there, we’ll have to wait and see.

In the mean time the guessing game is on, where will this 80 ft. behemoth come to shore?

In town? La Gringa? our beach?

Eeny, meeny, miney,.... Gecko!

P<*)))><

woody with a view - 6-11-2007 at 05:07 PM

Quote:

“Ernest, Ernest, come quick! I’ve just fallen in ze wvale gooo!”

hi-larious!!!!!

Ken Bondy - 6-11-2007 at 05:50 PM

Paulina you are a fantastic writer and storyteller. That was absolutely hilarious. I hope Moby Fin ends up out at Doc's. I also hope Doc never reads this

. You had me laughing so hard I had to cross MY legs!! Don't know why my feeble mind wandered to this, but that remark reminded me of an old friend who came back from Mazatlan where she had met Montezuma who executed his revenge. She told me she had been really sick, adding "It was two weeks before I could fart with confidence." She was an unusual gal. I know, this is degenerating rapidly. But you started it.

Sorry we missed you last week, had two nice dives Tuesday and Wednesday in great weather. Regards, ++Ken++

bahiamia - 6-11-2007 at 08:13 PM

Hey RCS, just went out to you and Dern's place to check out the scene. Chatted with your peeps and all is well over there. The whale is up the beach a ways toward Angelitos, where the road along the shore ends. Took some pictures and I'll have those up maybe tonight, but for sure in the a.m.

Not an 80 footer though; JnJ said it was more like 40' - 45' and that's what it looks like to me too. Catch u later...

[Edited on 6-12-2007 by bahiamia]

Sallysouth - 6-11-2007 at 08:16 PM

Oh my gawd Paulina!! That was so darn funny! I love the way you "painted" Ruthie.I had a total visual on her!! Great writing, and I had to pinch my legs together too!Thanks!! :lol:

Paulina - 6-11-2007 at 08:57 PM

Thank you for all the replies.

Sally, Ruthie is a character ( I mean that in a good way), I'm proud to have been able to tell her story. Ken, I have a feeling that your friend and I would have gotten along swimmingly. You are the kind of friend that one would be totally comfy in explaining "the way things work".

Woody, that is what made me loose it.

Grover, that actually crossed my mind, but blubber flying and landing everywhere might p*ss off my neighbors, and we all have to make them happy. The chain saw would have only messed us up.

Mia, I know the spot you are talking about. That is where we found the stillborn whale years back. It's skull is hanging in the house in Ens. It's also where dern found the cache of turtles. I love that spot and would like to build a home on the bluff on the south side of the mountain. Post those photos! Por favor!

Saludos!
P<*)))><

[Edited on 12-6-2007 by Paulina]

moving bodies

capitolkat - 6-12-2007 at 05:27 AM

when I was a young special prosecutor in rural Nevada I often went to crime scenes. Early one morning I was called out to a murder scene in rural Churchill County NV, and while talking to the old Sheriff he advised me he thought the body was in- fact in the adjacent county and he had called the coroner and sheriff from the next county to come secure the crime scene and begin the investigation. Shortly the other sheriff and coroner showed up and they surveyed the site and

the following conversation began

Other sheriff-- "well Bill looks like you fellers have been out here a while and determined the location to be in my county."

Sheriff Bill--"no Robert we been out here all night moving the body over to your side of the line." and then walks away.

I came to find out there had been a lifelong feud between the old ranchers now sheriffs and I witnessed an ongoing saga of dumping crimes on each other.

Whales are a little tougher to move in the middle of the night. :lol:

Cap - 6-12-2007 at 06:42 AM

This might be the best thread I have read in my limited time on this board. Fantastic stories! The German lady in the MUMU was priceless. Being from rural Nevada I realy appreciated the last one as well. I will now attempt to clean the coffee from my keyboard, thanks.

Ballena...

bahiamia - 6-12-2007 at 08:31 AM

Got a page with photos uploaded if you would like to take a look at the whale that washed up. Pictures might be considered graphic...

Whale Washes up on Shore in Bahia

Skipjack Joe - 6-12-2007 at 08:31 AM

Great story Paulina! I always enjoy your posts.

"I was laughing so hard I had to cross my legs" and "Well behaved women rarely make history". I think I'm starting to see a connection here. Hmmmmm....

[Edited on 6-12-2007 by Skipjack Joe]

shari - 6-12-2007 at 08:45 AM

Oh wow, a whale corpse thread! Ya just never know what's gonna show up in today's posts...great tale girl...now too bad there aren't any natives in BLA cause in the pacific northwest area the natives there would pray a sick whale would wash up on THEIR beach as it would feed the whole village for months! they would have their flensing knives at the ready and immediately start chopping...actually first they poke holes in the blubber and put buckets under them to collect all that great oil (whick is fabulous for keeping tools lubricated). We learned to do this too whenever we see a beached dead whale and it's true, whale oil is a superb lubricant for everything. I once asked an ancient Nu-Cha-Nulth chief who was once a famed whaler (Tofino area on Vancouver Island famous for it's fierce whaling cheifs) how many whales had he slayed in his lifetime...as they do...he thought a bit and grinned a toothless grin and held up 2 fingers! I was perplexed and he subsequently explained that he was such a powerful whaling chief that the whales came to him....washed up on his beach every year so he hardly ever had to even get in his dugout to go whale hunting. Cool!

GeoRock - 6-12-2007 at 09:12 AM

Paulina, great read! Had to run to the toilet real fast though....

Hope it doesn't land in Gecko...I'm a coming on down for July 4th!

Natalie Ann - 6-12-2007 at 10:59 AM

This is an excellent story, Paulina... and now with Mia's cool pix we can see just what awaits your arrival. It's just a ways down the beach. Here's my suggestion... when you get there, grab a sharp knife and a bucket and do what Shari said - poke that whale good and hard with the knife, have your bucket ready. And please be sure to tell us exactly how all that works out. :biggrin:

Nena

toneart - 6-12-2007 at 10:59 AM

Paulina,

This is a whale of a story and you certainly have the writing skills to tell it. My bladder held, but after reading your description of Ruthie doing a face plant into the whale slime, I had to take a shower. Where is Ernest when you need him? :barf:

Paulina - 6-12-2007 at 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Natalie Ann
This is an excellent story, Paulina... and now with Mia's cool pix we can see just what awaits your arrival. It's just a ways down the beach. Here's my suggestion... when you get there, grab a sharp knife and a bucket and do what Shari said - poke that whale good and hard with the knife, have your bucket ready. And please be sure to tell us exactly how all that works out. :biggrin:

Nena

***GRAPHIC PHOTOS INCLUDED***

Nena,
It's just a short way up the beach from us, so we do plan to go check it out and see what is left of it by the time we get there. I've done the knife thing to a few whales, but I didn't know to collect the oil. I did it to help with the decomposing process. I also collected some of the baleen for my son's second grade science class. These photos were taken in 2000, and are the same batch of whales as the one that washed up on Ruthie's beach. You can see approx. how big the whale was that Ruthie had to deal with.

***GRAPHIC PHOTOS ***

WoW

CaboRon - 6-12-2007 at 11:42 AM

Talk about real life photos .... I am really glad they weren't posted with smelly-vision ... it must have been overwhelming. And Paulina , what an incredable story ... :yes:

woody with a view - 6-12-2007 at 11:45 AM

yeah-

it's hard to tell if that's a grin or a grimmace! :barf:

Natalie Ann - 6-12-2007 at 11:47 AM

Well thank you, Paulina, for those photo illustrations. I have seen any number of recently dead beached sea creatures including a whale or three, but the ones I've seen seem to have popped open on their own. Hope some day I find a freshly dead one - it would be kinda fun to cut it up like you're doing, and I've got lots of garden tools would like that oil. :spingrin:

Osprey - 6-12-2007 at 02:15 PM

Paulina, great tale, good photos too on the BOLA site. Down south here it's a real celebration when the boats find a dead whale. Four years ago a big dead whale limited out the whole fleet in dorado for almost two weeks. The following year, somewhere between the Gordo Banks and Cabo two fishing boats found a dead man floating. They went into the port captain, reported the thing, caught hell for catching a few dorado under the body before they went back to port.

bajalou - 6-12-2007 at 02:22 PM

The Industrial Revolution was made possible by having whale oil to lubricate the machinery. The demand ended with the discovery and use of petroleum products.

Paulina - 6-12-2007 at 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bajalou
The Industrial Revolution was made possible by having whale oil to lubricate the machinery. The demand ended with the discovery and use of petroleum products.

That's what Dern said this afternoon, "I'll stick to WD-40".

Skipjack Joe - 6-12-2007 at 03:28 PM

Which one's the whale!! :biggrin:

Wingnut - 6-12-2007 at 04:01 PM

Paulina, a whale of a story! Loved the accent you wrote into Ruthie's call. I was laughing uproariously as I read it. And the photos!! Fantastic. I have never had the pleasure of seeing one of these creatures up close so they are quite compelling. If that whale lands anywhere near you I hope the prevailing winds blow the other direction. Good luck.

Bob H - 6-12-2007 at 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Paulina
The only thing left to do was to try to disassemble what was left. Picture this; she was standing on the beach in front of the whale, gripping one of the rib bones in both hands above her head, while rocking it back and forth with all her might, trying to break it loose. The rib broke loose alright, pulling Ruthie along with it, face first, smack into the mass of whale goo.

With glowing tiki torches as a back light, Ruthie stood there in her brightly flowered muumuu, arms outstretched as she told of falling into the slime. (I was laughing so hard I had to cross my legs). In her German accent she re-enacted the moment when she realized what had just happened, slowly stood up, faced towards her house and yelled, “Ernest, Ernest, come quick! I’ve just fallen in ze wvale gooo!” She was covered head to toe in decomposing whale, maggots and all.(At this point I could hardly catch my breath.) Ernest hosed her off and she threw in the towel.
P<*)))><

That part is Hilarious! Great read.
Bob H

Bob H - 6-12-2007 at 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ken Bondy
Don't know why my feeble mind wandered to this, but that remark reminded me of an old friend who came back from Mazatlan where she had met Montezuma who executed his revenge. She told me she had been really sick, adding "It was two weeks before I could fart with confidence."

Ken, that quote is CLASSIC! Love it.... :lol:

Bob H

Paulina - 6-12-2007 at 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Skipjack Joe
Which one's the whale!! :biggrin:

Ja Ja Ja! I wondered who would be the first one to notice, it would be you Igor! I've been holding a similar photo silenced taken by Bedman that same year I believe! I figured what the heck, I'm only getting.....better! HA! My life is going to be way too short to worry about the dreaded pink bikini. Besides, I always figure if people don't like what they see they don't have to take a second look, AND, brown fat looks better than white fat, so bare it all! It's a REAL good thing that the ultra-dreaded thong hadn't been introduced into my baja wardrobe at that point....we'd all be scared! Talk about a graphic photo!

P<*)))><

edit: that darned spelling thing.

[Edited on 13-6-2007 by Paulina]

David K - 6-12-2007 at 11:00 PM

All 'Baja sisters' are beautiful!

All I can say, is...

Mexray - 6-13-2007 at 12:01 AM

...That's one WHALE of a meal for those Turkey Buzzards, shown 'Hanging Eight' on Jumbo's bod!

Too bad your friends can't 'render' the floater (or Beacher), and sell the oil to Greenpeace for one of their Diesel powered vessels... :spingrin:

Skipjack Joe - 6-13-2007 at 03:49 AM

You've been a real sport about this Paulina.

I think I'll borrow Juan's thong and pose with my truck. I believe in equal opportunity.

Paulina - 6-13-2007 at 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Skipjack Joe
You've been a real sport about this Paulina.

I think I'll borrow Juan's thong and pose with my truck. I believe in equal opportunity.

><(((*< NOW YOU'RE TALKIN'!! Thar he blows!!!>*)))><

elgatoloco - 6-13-2007 at 04:28 PM

WOW! :wow:

That was a whale of a story P! Hope we get down to help out with the chainsawing! or not. :biggrin: