BajaNomad

Baja Rules of the Road vs Indian Rules of the Road

Iflyfish - 7-22-2008 at 10:47 PM

Rules Of The Road, Indian Style
Traveling on Indian Roads is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable -- and, when you are on the roads, extremely dangerous. Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on a Sanskrit text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first time in English:

ARTICLE I:
The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.

ARTICLE II:
Indian traffic, like Indian society,is structured on a strict caste system. The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to:
Cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks, buffalo, jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.

ARTICLE III:
All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance with the maxim: to slow is to falter, to brake is to fail, to stop is defeat. This is the Indian drivers' mantra.

ARTICLE IV:
Use of horn (also known as the sonic fender or aural amulet):
Cars (IV,1,a-c):
Short blasts (urgent) indicate supremacy, IE in clearing dogs, rickshaws and pedestrians from path. Long blasts (desperate) denote supplication, IE to oncoming truck: "I am going too fast to stop, so unless you slow down we shall both die". In extreme cases this may be accompanied by flashing of headlights (frantic). Single blast (casual) means: "I have seen someone out of India's 870 million whom I recognise", "There is a bird in the road (which at this speed could go through my windscreen)" or "I have not blown my horn for several minutes."
Trucks and buses (IV,2,a):
All horn signals have the same meaning, viz: "I have an all-up weight of approximately 12.5 tons and have no intention of stopping, even if I could." This signal may be emphasised by the use of headlamps.
Article IV remains subject to the provision of Order of Precedence in Article II above.

ARTICLE V:
All manoeuvres, use of horn and evasive action shall be left until the last possible moment.

ARTICLE VI:
In the absence of seat belts (which there is), car occupants shall wear garlands of marigolds. These should be kept fastened at all times.

ARTICLE VII:
Rights of way:
Traffic entering a road from the left has priority. So has traffic from the right, and also traffic in the middle.
Lane discipline (VII,1):
All Indian traffic at all times and irrespective of direction of travel shall occupy the centre of the road.

ARTICLE VIII:
Roundabouts: India has no roundabouts. Apparent traffic islands in the middle of crossroads have no traffic management function. Any other impression should be ignored.

ARTICLE IX:
Overtaking is mandatory. Every moving vehicle is required to overtake every other moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has just overtaken you.
Overtaking should only be undertaken in suitable conditions, such as in the face of oncoming traffic, on blind bends, at junctions and in the middle of villages/city centres. No more than two inches should be allowed between your vehicle and the one you are passing -- and one inch in the case of bicycles or pedestrians.

ARTICLE X:
Nirvana may be obtained through the head-on crash.

ARTICLE XI:
Reversing: no longer applicable since no vehicle in India has reverse gear.
-- Courtesy of http://rajiv.com
Iflyfish

palmeto99 - 7-23-2008 at 04:55 AM

This is a uncalled for attack on race..

CaboRon - 7-23-2008 at 06:31 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by palmeto99
This is a uncalled for attack on race..


You have never been to India :lol::lol::lol:

CaboRon

Taco de Baja - 7-23-2008 at 07:31 AM

And here I thought this was going to be about Native American drivers.

Cristóbal Colón may have "discovered" America for Europe, but he sure messed up the language.

"Indians" for the Natives
"Peppers" for chilies

Skip_Mac - 7-23-2008 at 07:58 AM

My Brother in law is Punjabi, His last trip back was described exactly like Iflyfish said. The rest of the anglo side of the family was terrified and said never again. Baja roads and drivers are a breeze in comparison. We should try to keep a reasonable perspective as there are many places WORSE than most anything we might experience in Baja. No thanks for the palm boy's flaming

Iflyfish - 7-23-2008 at 09:30 AM

Ravi the Racist, that's rich!

http://www.rajiv.com/india/humor/travguid.htm

I once had the privilege of meeting Arnold Toynbee, http://www.age-of-the-sage.org/philosophy/history/toynbee_st... His view was that the rules of the road in the United States of America had conditioned a level of cooperation not found in much of the rest of the world. These rules force a sort of conformity upon us. Now I well know that there are rules of the road in Mexico also, I pull over and turn on my left turn signal when I am holding up traffic, but the rules in Mexico are much more idiosyncratic as befits the Mexico I love. In some ways Mexican drivers are freer than are their cousins from the north, ditto for their culture. There are real cultural differences and to make light of them is not only human but enriches us and can help illuminate and honor our differences.

Sometimes racism is in the eye of the beholder as is beauty.

Iflyfishwhennotbeingracistsexistchauvenisticandpracticingotherformsofperversion