Santiago - 10-30-2008 at 06:25 AM
In memory of Mike Humfreville. This is one of his observations about the small things of life.
"Tiny Mouse" [I wrote this after our October trip to Bahia de Los Angeles. In
our huts we often find mice that come in to clean up for us. They, in a sense, are part of our household. Late at night they come out and we toss them
fragments of crackers. They are not pests, just trying to survive . . .]
A tiny mouse lay dying on the sand at our cabin on the beach.
I spotted him in the midst of a traffic pattern, foot treads between myself, Mary Ann and dog Dito. Perhaps between our coming and going we'd injured
him somehow. I felt for him and was attracted to the fur-covered beast he was, so small and innocent, lying on his damaged side. I could see his heart
muscle periodically pumping blood, his head shudder with the pressure. His body was no longer than an inch. Tail half of that. Just a baby.
Mary Ann gently moved mouse's body to a more protected spot on the sand. We watched him try to fix himself for two days, knowing all the while he was
dying. We checked on him frequently, watched his slowing heart pump, wanted to comfort him but knowing that was entirely impossible. It caused me to
consider sensitivity in our world. Where should it stop? Does it make any sense for me to care for a tiny beast when I can have no ability to help it?
If I feel responsible for another living thing I must be able, somehow, to assist it in its efforts and yet I cannot. Am I then helpless? There is no
correct answer, you just have an opportunity to react in whatever way rips at you.
Mouse's chest is crushed, by my foot, by the gnarly raw jaw of my dog, by some incidental moment, whatever, his life is now only torment and suffering
until the end when the light fades from his miniscule eyes and his awareness becomes jaded and he's gone forever from his world. And mine.
My friend tells me to kill him quickly, to save him from his misery. How do I know mouse's wish? How can I know what's best for him?
If I lie dying would I treasure my last moments even through extreme pain, to reflect back across the meaningful moments of my life, to call up that
grand slide show of the incidents I held dearest? Or would I find those same moments in death? As a tiny mouse, as I felt that final ringing moment of
life, where sacrificial boot terminated me, would I feel my small bones crack and heart stop? Would I be given time to chase down all those memories
that formed the meaningful times of my life?
I could never answer those questions, know some would find them ridiculous, laugh at me. Rightfully, if insensitive. At rest, perhaps I care only for
mouse because I fear my own aging fate. Perhaps my concerns are internal and only for myself. How will I deal with death? But I don't think so. My
immediate or extended thoughts were never consciously for me, only for the injured animal in my path that I may have damaged. Maybe a human
evolutionary thing where we care for and protect those that cannot harm us?
On the end of the second day, mouse died. We had taken no action either way to influence the grand plan of things. I won't forget the tiny innocent
thing that influenced my world. Guess I'm getting really old. We left his remains were left where he caught his final breath and shudder. By the next
morning much of his fur was gone and small portions of his flesh consumed by invisible beasts. While this was an ugly affair in one regard, in
another, the world, the universe, was busy replenishing itself with mouse's resources.
I'm not certain how a man can care so deeply for a life he never knew. But I do.
(Many of Mike's stories are archived on Fred Metcalf's page: http://math.ucr.edu/ftm/bajaPages/Correspondents/BajaWithMik...)
Katiejay99 - 10-30-2008 at 07:38 AM
What a wonderful story! Compassion is not just a word, it is a way of life.
I have a Mexican friend who comes by some times and drinks coffee with me. I have continually had to tell him “no mata mis animals” – don’t kill my
animals. I have had to do this because every single time he sees any type of insect, bug or anything in my house, he immediately kills it without
thinking. Not that there are many here, mind you.
Just recently a wasp flew through my window and I looked at it and mentally asked it to leave and surprisingly enough it turned around and was heading
back out the window when my friend took a swipe at it. He missed. I had to tell him again not to kill my animals. I never thought to tell him not to
kill THE animals, I just always used the “my” form of it for some unknown reason to me.
Yesterday when he was here a bug was walking across the floor and I saw him see it and he looked at me with a silly grin and just let it be. I had to
laugh. He told me he was trying to remember my words and that he was being more conscious in his every day life now about God’s creatures. I
applauded. I have a chicken who insists on coming through the house from time to time and it came in just as the bug was walking along and grabbed it
up. I didn’t feel bad for the bug, it fed my chicken.
I have had arachnophobia in the extreme all of my life. I cannot ever remember not being afraid of them. I mean to the extent that even during
Halloween when the stores would put up those plastic ones all around the check out counters, I could not make myself go to the counter. I would break
out in sweats and start shaking all over. I knew they were plastic, but my fear was great. Last year I was sitting on my couch just before the sun
went down and I got up to get me a soda from the frig. When I returned, just above my head and sitting in the middle of a cow skull was one of the
biggest spiders I had ever seen in my life. I looked at it and told it that I was tired of being scared of it and that I would never fear them again.
I grabbed my camera, took a picture of it and in that instant between looking at the digital screen and looking back up at the spider, it had vanished
– never to be seen again. I rarely see any spiders in my house now.
I was bitten by a baby rattle snake when I was 3 and living in San Diego. I came very close to dying and still have the scar -a cross – on my middle
finger where it bit me. I have rarely been scared of snakes – well, one time. It was a HUGE rattler and in striking distance and ready to strike.
Unfortunately I allowed someone to kill it.
For me, finding peace with all of God’s creatures has allowed me to find peace with the human species. It doesn’t mean that I have to agree with
everyone, it just means that I can make a conscious choice now as to how I react.
David K - 10-30-2008 at 10:41 AM
Thanks Jim... We sure miss that man!
Photo by Bedman of Mike at BBBB#4, 9-02
[Edited on 10-30-2008 by David K]
Osprey - 10-30-2008 at 12:19 PM
I posted this shortly after we lost Mike.
In some far off land where a man is measured by his humanity, Mike Humfreville reigns supreme. It is fit his end came as a soft landing; some small
payback I suppose for making us all look at ourselves a little closer. I chided him a time or two for being too sensitive, too goofy over things he
saw in pebbles or clouds or people but (through the internet) I could feel the smile on his face as he looked at my words with a little pity, wishing
I could see what he saw.
Those of us whose lives Mike touched can now honor this gentle teacher by being just a little more human. I’ll go first.
Oh, how I wish
toneart - 10-30-2008 at 12:37 PM
I had known the man. He really speaks to all of us through his writing. I often have thoughts like this about creatures large and small. How their
fate is in our hands. How they have a right to experience their last moments, or would they be better off not experiencing? Is a bug or a mouse any
different than we are? Do their brains process their neurological senses?
This quandary really intensifies when we are faced with the end of a pet's life, and what part we should play in it's passing.There have been some
beautiful and heart wrenching strings about this on The Nomad.
We are all entering and leaving this planet at the same time if you consider how infinitesimal our time here is, on the timeline.
Or....is the timeline an abstract concept that our brains need to hold because we cannot grasp a concept of eternity? Is the concept of a timeline an
artificial manufacturing by our earthly brains?
Mike has spoken to all of us, today, right now. Thank you, Mike!
And thank you Santiago, and Fred too, for your living archive.
I would love to see one more post here from Mike, passing on the answers to his questions, to us. Does our life flash before our eyes in that instant?
Is that instant enough time? Is that instant the whole of life which may include all of these these living moments we are all experiencing;yesterday,
right now, tomorrow? Is that instant an eternity?
Paulina - 10-30-2008 at 02:45 PM
Katiejay99,
You and Mike would have hit it off famously.
P<*)))>{
Eli - 11-1-2008 at 02:19 PM
Thanks for this post Santiago, it is a real good day to remember Mike, I do miss him on this board, ni modo, Sara
Sallysouth - 11-2-2008 at 06:46 PM
What Eli said Santiago.I miss him here as well and know M.A. and her son (as well as many others) appreciate your post.
[Edited on 11-3-2008 by Sallysouth]
BajaGringo - 11-2-2008 at 07:42 PM
Thanks for the post. Never met Mike but that hit a very soft spot on my heart...
marv sherrill - 11-2-2008 at 10:04 PM
Mike - as always - RIP!!
Packoderm - 11-2-2008 at 10:09 PM
He is my all-time favorite Nomad. Here's to you MH.
baitcast - 11-3-2008 at 06:30 AM
RIP my man,I never met the man but he was one of the first to reply to my feeble attemps at writing a posting.
He went so far as to offer his help! a stranger,he must have been a fine fellow.
Rob
My favorite photo of Mike Humfreville
David K - 11-3-2008 at 09:07 AM
I took this photo of Mike on July 4, 2001 at the Las Flores ruins, south of L.A. Bay.
We were returning from our 'Lost Mission Hunt' and made a stop by the old jail house. Mike studied this cholla and all I could think was he was
getting an idea to improve the Mars Lander (Mike worked for the JPL, Pasadena).
Also there were amigos Paulina, Neal Johns, El Camote,...
Skipjack Joe - 11-3-2008 at 12:10 PM
Every year or so a thread would appear remembering jrbaja.
I think the same should be done for Mike Humphreyville. He was exceptional.
Thanks Santiago.
David K - 11-3-2008 at 10:31 PM
Please get yourselves a copy of Mike Humfreville's great book... Mary Ann still lives part of the year at their L.A. Bay home and reads Baja Nomad...
The book features their two extended vacations living on the shore of the Sea of Cortez once shortly after they married, then again with their two
young boys. The volcano is Smith Island... Available from Sunbelt and Discover Baja... perhaps Judy's BajaBooksAndMaps.com, too?
[Edited on 11-4-2008 by David K]
