Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies - repost

I saw this on here years back, still makes me laugh


Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies
Ingredients
1 cup water
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Serves / Yields One

Preparation Instructions
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK; try another cup ...just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.
Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink, whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS!

Somehow that story was funnier coming from Bajagypsy.

Quote:

Originally posted by Bajagypsy Christmas Cake Recipe Ingredients * 1 cup of water * 1 tsp. baking soda * 1 cup of sugar * 1 tsp. salt * 1 cup of brown sugar * lemon juice * 4 large eggs * nuts * 1 bottle Johnnie Walker * 2 cups of dried fruit Instructions 1. Sample the Johnnie Walker to check quality. 2. Take a large bowl, check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. 3. Repeat. 4. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. 5. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. 6. Make sure the whisky is still OK. Try another cup. 7. Turn off the mixerer. 8. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. 9. Mix on the turner. 10. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver. 11. Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. 12. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a sh-t. 13. Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. 14. Add one table. 15. Add a spoon of sugar, or something. Whatever you can find. 16. Greash the oven and pee in the fridge. 17. Turn the cake tin 350 defrees. 18. Don't forget to beat off the turner. 19. Throw the bowl through the flocking window. 20. Check the whisky again and go to bed. My kinda baking!!!