woody with a view - 12-24-2008 at 02:32 PM
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the casa, not a creature was stirring -- Caramba! Que pasa? Los ninos were tucked away in their camas,
some in long underwear, some in pajamas. While hanging the stockings with mucho cuidado in hopes that old Santa would feel obligado. To bring all
children, both buenos y malos, a nice batch of dulces and other regalos.
Outside in the yard there arose such a grito that I jumped to my feet like a frightened cabrito. I ran to the window and looked out afuera, and who in
the world do you think that it era? Saint Nick in a sleigh and a big red sombrero came dashing along like a crazy bombero. And pulling his sleigh
instead of venados were eight little burros approaching volados.
I watched as they came and this quaint little hombre was shouting and whistling and calling by nombre: "Ay Pancho, ay Pepe, ay Cuco, ay Beto, Ay
Chato, ay Chopo, Macuco, y Nieto!"
Then standing erect with his hands on his pecho he flew to the top of our very own techo. With his round little belly like a bowl of jalea, he
struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea, then huffing and puffing at last in our sala, with soot smeared all over his red suit de gala, he filled
all the stockings with lovely regalos-- For none of the ninos had been very malos.
Then chuckling aloud, seeming very contento, he turned like a flash and was gone like the viento. And I heard him exclaim, and this is verdad, Merry
Christmas to all - Feliz Navidad!
May you and your's enjoy the blessings of the season!
The Apartment
Skipjack Joe - 12-24-2008 at 02:49 PM
“'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring...
nothin'... no action... dullsville!”
A great film to watch during the holidays
Remember the last scene?
"Did you hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I said I absolutely adore you!"
"Shut up and deal"
fdt - 12-24-2008 at 05:01 PM
Classic !
Times are a'changing....hell, they have already!
Pompano - 12-24-2008 at 05:05 PM
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
.
Thank God there are still places like this:
.
MERRY 'CHRIST'MAS!.
[Edited on 12-25-2008 by Pompano]
Twas the night before ?
akshadow - 12-25-2008 at 04:35 PM
Are we sure it is not "the night before Happy Holiday"http://forums.bajanomad.com/images/smilies/wow.gif
Skeet/Loreto - 12-25-2008 at 05:00 PM
Thanks Pomp: One of the Best if not the Best!!
The happy Holidays thing is the Dumbest example of Weak-mindedness I have every seen.
What are those Punks so Scared of?? Christ??
Skeet
Bob H - 12-26-2008 at 07:39 AM
"Jalapeno, Jalapeno, Jalapeno, Jalapeno."
I've discovered a wonderful new philosophy that has
raised my consciousness as well as my cholesterol.
It's called Tex-Mexistentialism.
It all started with the philosopher Juan-Paul Salsa, who wrote, "To Bean, or Nacho to Bean, that is the Queso."
He was followed by his great disciple, Descarta Blanca, who said, "I Pinto, therefore, Cayenne."
Some trace it to ancient Grease, where the great thinker Aristortilla wrote the book Plata's RePulpo.
Meanwhile, over in ancient India, they believed in Chili con Karma - that what Casa round, Carne's around.
And back in the Holy Land, The prophet Masa brought The Ten Comidas:
"Thou Salt not Tequila."
"Honor thy Tamale and thy Papaya."
"Blessed are the Migas, for they shall Ranchero the Burps."
"Give a man an Enchilada, he'll Taco Mole."
"Arroz is Arroz by Flameada name."
"In the Picante, Guisada Cerveza'd the Hongas and the Verde.
And he saw that it was Food."
I'd like to close by reciting The Lard's Prayer:
"Our Fajita, who art in Huevos, Pollo'd be Muy Bueno.
Thy Corona come, thy Chili be Con, on Cuervo it is El Jefe.
Forgive us our Tres Amigos, as we forgive those who Seis Salsas against us.
Lettuce not into Tomatillo, but Nuevo us from Fritos.
For thine is the Gringo, the Agua and the Chorizo.
In the name of the Flauta, and of the Flan, and of the Frijole ghost.
A-Menudo."
Bob H