Osprey - 9-27-2010 at 10:45 AM
Baja Movie
“Knock, knock. Anybody home?”
“Larry? Cmon in. It’s got a door, you could knock on that.”
“Yeah but I feel silly knocking on a tent.”
“It’s a yurt, not a tent. You want a drink? I’m having about 50. How’d you do in Loreto? Get anything we can use?”
“Not much. Went to every store in the village. Things are slow so they’re not really stocked up. How about you; good shoot today?”
“Don’t ask. The jaguar truck came in with the trainer so we shot that. Larry, I was on a roll to start this thing. There’s only a handful of big trees
around San Ignacio and I found a perfect one for the shoot. Like I planned, there are tons of Mexicans around who need quick money so I had plenty of
natives for the raw jungle pieces. All we had to do was pick out a guy who could walk under the tree, get jumped on by the jaguar and get saved by our
hero. That’s it, just that, six hours. And I still don’t have anything so I have to keep the cat and the trainer around for three more days. Six
excruciating hours and nothing on film we can use.
“What took all the time?”
“Well, if it wasn’t costing me a lot of time I would have been laughing my ass off. I ran down the scene with our head man, Nacho, and he seemed to
grasp the whole thing. After 18 days he’s beginning to get the picture. He picked out a guy for the shoot. A little guy named Fernando, the three of
us went through the scene in Spanish and English. Then we all three did a walk through, then again with the cameras in place. We marked everything,
timed the shoot and got ready for the cat and the trainer. We had to build a little platform in the tree to hide the trainer and the Mexican grips got
that done in jig time and it looked great.”
“What’s Kirk doing all this time?”
“Our hero is in his yurt playing with himself on my dime and loving it. Anyway, the pregnant moment arrives, the little guy walks under the tree and
even before anybody is ready he’s looking up in the tree, searching for dangerous jaguars. The cat and trainer come down and everybody stops while we
talk with Fernando.”
“I told Nacho to go through it again that Fernando has to be surprised by the jaguar, that he doesn’t know the jaguar’s up there in the tree ready to
pounce.
Nacho tells him that then he says to me.”
“Señor Ted, Fernando says he knows the jaguar is in the tree and he is afraid.”
“I tell them that Fernando’s character does not know the jaguar is in the tree. I tell them that Fernando is to pretend he does not know the jaguar is
in the tree. He repeats that to Fernando and we come all the way back to ‘who’s on first’.”
“Nacho and I go over to the group of Mexican crowd people who are all looking at their shoes. We find no volunteers. We offer pesos. Nothing. We offer
more pesos. Nothing. Nacho sent out for more Mexicans but the word had got around and after lunch Fernando was still with us but most of the crowd
people were not to be seen. On take 13 the jaguar fell asleep and the trainer had to push him out of the tree and he missed the Mexican, hit the
ground running the other way. Two more hours while the village police and the trainer captured the jaguar who was hiding in a culvert. The cat was
very spooky then and the trainer said no more jaguar for 48 hours.”
Larry said “That’s hilarious. I hate to say ‘I told you so’ but I warned you that you would save a ton of money shooting a jungle flick down here in
Baja but it might cost you in so many other ways.”
“Don’t rub it in. Did you find any tonic? We ran out of tonic Tuesday or maybe Monday.”
briantroy - 10-1-2010 at 01:00 AM
"We ran out of tonic too long ago and, to tell you the truth, Baja is begining to hit me more like it did Richard Burton than it did Steinbeck. It
isn't just the dry heat that's getting to me either; It's the rest of this s*** that is getting ridiculous."
Both look at the dirt and shuffle feet in silence.
"Well, I can understand the frustration, but the project.."
"The project, huh? The project? Let's really look at what the "project" is all about. The project is all about producing what the studio wants. My
hands are tied and I'm losing control of the whole thing. They want a cookie cutter project and give me the a budget to shoot in Mexico with a
compromised screen play, has-been actors, lazy teamsters and a s*** load of inexperienced Mexicans. How am I supposed to make a movie when my greatest
concern is keeping the crew hydrated?"
"I understand you are frustrated, we all are. But, let's keep things in perspective. You knew things would be tight and you have to remember that YOU
chose to shoot in Baja. You know how things down here work. You, of all people, should know things take a little longer and it might be cheaper...but
it aint free."
"I'm sorry. I just get so darn frustrated..... Let's have a drink and start this conversation over."
[Edited on 10-2-2010 by briantroy]