The Baja Diet - LAUGH IT OFF

Definition of a Balanced Diet: "A Burrito in Each Hand"





THE CREATION DUEL

In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."

And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good.

And the Devil said, "There goes the neighborhood."

And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female did He create.

And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit. "Muy bien."

And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game."

And God populated the earth with rice and beans, broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And the Devil created tacos, carnitas, churros, & hot dog stands. And Antonio of Mulege brought forth the Saturday pigout. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And the Devil brought forth chocolate dulce. And Woman gained 5 pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And the Devil brought forth the chicken-fried burrito so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds on the beach.

And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into papa fritas and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the papa fritas swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance.

Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice.

And the Devil created light cerveza so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds.

And God created the life-giving tofu.

And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?"

And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did.

And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor.

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..And so it goes...






BREAKFASTS, LUNCHES, DINNERS OF BAJA

The diet saga continues:

This next series of Baja photos will be focused on ..FOOD. It seems I've been put on a strict diet..peaking out last winter at 285 lbs. My footprints on the beach were trapping nesting turtles. Whole families were using me for shade last Easter.




The copilot's orders are that I will not be eating my usual Baja chow from now on. Adios to those bacon wrapped dogs, grande burritos, churros, jumbo burgers con papa fritas, happy hours, overnights at La Jungla and the like..

So.. I dedicate this series of Breakfasts, Lunches, Dinners, and Snacks to those gastronomic delights of yesterday...via con dios, amigos.





I will throw out the really great tasting things....The Bad.


Mi compadre, Randy "Atta boy, Pompano..you can do it! Here's your soya milk. Enjoy." ..retch..




And ring in the healthy stuff..The Good.

"What do you mean ..no beer?.. NO BEER?! Attack, Cedric..ATTACK!."




The Bad Breakfast

SOB…my two best buddies…GONE FOREVER?


The Good Breakfast


FYI, that stuff up there on the table is called...FRUIT. I looked it up in Wikepedia and it's supposed to be quite healthy. Tasted okay....but has no bones to gnaw.


The Good Fish

Sushi is low cal...no?


I once ate at this sushi bar catering to these lawyers. It was called
So Su Mi


The Bad Dinner

Fare thee well, old friend.

Listen.. do you hear that faraway music... Taps?
.


The Good Dinner (infrequent as it is)

Medium rare para mi, por favor. Hold the steak sauce. Plain spud..no sour cream...arrggghh...sigh.


..or..The Good Dinner from Sharksbaja cafe in Newport, Oregon.

Now, THIS is one healthy dinner choice..and yummy! Rock 'em, Corky.



The Bad Snack


My Gawd..! Get out the harpoon, Nanook!



The Good Snack

...But, but..NO whipped cream, chocolate, or champagne?!!..NONE!? ..arrgghhh


The Good Snack Improved





The Good Lunch


Yeah..it's pineapple...just plain pineapple. And some water...whoopee.

"Yes, yes, tesoro... you cut it to look soooo pretty. Almost like a real meal..yeah..almost. And herbal tea, too?

Like... oh wow.

..I'm speechless..."



Note: It's all for the best, and I really AM making progress.

..but the voices are still calling me...ever so faintly I can hear them...they seem friendly enough...?



Pray for me.




[Edited on 11-24-2010 by Pompano]

Great post Roger. I too, am approaching that waddle stage.

Thanks

Argghhhh..the voices..the VOICES!

Oh Pomapano, Sad to say, but I too feel your pain! Maybe you will be an inspiration to us all! Pray for me, too.

a poco a poco ...

...means little by little in Italiano. Same in Spanish, just drop the first 'a', along with 40 pounds.


The 'Before' photo. My Sea Elephant stage...



The 'After' photo.


The diet is going well....IF I don't fall of the wagon. Keep your fingers crossed...and out of the cookie jar.


sigh...it seems SOME people can eat cookies with no harm at all...?



Grazie, Co-Pilot....

..for showing me how to eat right...


Decisions...decisions..?


and EXCERCISE! Co-Pilot can beachcomb-jog from Cabo to Nome.





Penso che non abbiamo per caso raduno, tesoro.







[Edited on 11-24-2010 by Pompano]

So, how does soy milk and scotch taste, anyway?