Anonymous - 11-27-2004 at 02:47 AM
http://www.dailyherald.com/kane/main_story.asp?intID=3831747
By Eric Peterson
November 26, 2004
Marco Felix has a long, long future ahead - but one that's an absolute mystery, even to those who gave it to him.
The 3-year-old boy from Mexico is back in Barrington for his third extended stay with Patsy and Charlie Thalheimer.
This time the reason isn't a life-threatening medical disorder, but because all other sources of help for the developmental disabilities he's acquired
have apparently dried up in his native land.
What will happen after Marco's visa expires in January is something no one knows.
Marco's ups, downs
The boy has had two serious battles with "water on the brain," both treated by emergency visits to Chicago.
The first was just months after his birth in 2001. The second was last year, long after the shunt that was supposed to be relieving the fluid pressure
on his brain had malfunctioned.
The Thalheimers, meanwhile, had expected this to be their first fall as empty-nesters. Having sent their youngest child, Maggie, off to college in
August, this was supposed to be their time to travel, go to movies and pursue their own interests again.
Instead, Patsy sends Marco off to the Woodlands Early Learning Center in Carpentersville every morning and patiently awaits his bus home in the early
afternoon.
After Marco's afternoon nap, evenings are spent providing him with the stimulation and play his caregivers at a Mexican orphanage said they couldn't.
Marco isn't an orphan, but he's even less able to be helped by his mother, Diana, who lives in a tiny, half-finished house in the Baja Peninsula with
her two daughters, mother, brother, sister-in-law and two nephews. That's when she isn't spending the daylight hours working in the tomato fields.
It was Diana who first brought her ailing 2-month-old baby to the attention of Patsy and two friends, who were volunteering at the orphanage in July
2001.
Hydrocephalus, as Marco's condition is called, is relatively easy to treat in the United States. A shunt is implanted that drains excess fluid from
the brain to the more harmless region of the abdomen.
Many children born in nations where this operation is impossible die. But Marco's greatest problem came from returning to a place where the shunt
couldn't be regularly checked. It may have been malfunctioning for as long as eight months before Patsy got the call on New Year's Day 2003 to come
get Marco again.
That period of time might be the cause of Marco's developmental setbacks, like his lack of speech, which weren't detected after the first operation.
"The fact that he was developing so well at 1 seemed to indicate he would develop normally," Patsy said. "But we can't deal with the 'what-ifs'
anymore; we have to deal with what is."
Patsy and Charlie had been content last spring knowing they were returning Marco to the clean and orderly environment of the orphanage, with his
mother just a bus ride away. They had spent more than a year hosting Marco throughout his therapy after the operation and were convinced the orphanage
was the right environment for him.
Then, after only five months, the orphanage called Patsy to say it didn't have the resources to look after Marco. Either she'd have to come get him
again or it would send him home to Diana, who'd visited only four or five times.
"That was the furthest thing from my mind," Patsy said of the sudden request. "I never thought I'd hear that."
The orphanage grudgingly gave Patsy six weeks to get a 6-month visa for Marco. She received it on literally the last day before the orphanage would
have packed Marco's bags.
Patsy had already received a letter from the staff saying that it was with "peace in (their) heart" that they were returning Marco to his family. She
replied that she didn't know how they could have peace in their heart when they knew he would die.
Her frustration with the situation only increased when she saw Marco again. The boy's progress she had spent more than a year of her life on had been
erased in a few months. He was listless and weak, unable to even climb stairs.
Patsy believes the orphanage did its best with Marco, but that he was probably seen as "the expendable one" because of both his time-consuming special
needs and because he wasn't really an orphan.
As Marco left Mexico this latest time, Patsy expressed her frustration to Diana about the impact the boy's lack of stability must be having on him.
"As we were hugging and saying goodbye, I asked her, 'How many times are we going to do this to Marco?'?"
In the last four months, Patsy and Charlie have remarkably improved the boy's condition to the point that he looks quite normal for a 3-year-old boy.
Marco has also overcome his near-catatonic state and is playfully engaged with his surroundings again, albeit with the mentality of an 18-month-old.
A permanent home?
Time is closing in on the Jan. 24 expiration date of Marco's visa, and the Thalheimers are desperate to find a permanent solution to his plight.
Their plan would require the unprecedented cooperation of both the U.S. and Mexican governments to even be possible.
"My best hope is that his mom will see that the greater good is for him to stay here and that an American adoption agency will find someone that will
take in a special-needs child," Patsy said. "I just pray there's a family out there who can care for this adorable Mexican boy and give him the love
he needs."
Patsy said acquaintances have often been taken aback by her revelation that she and Charlie don't see themselves in this role. But they believe
they've done the right thing by Marco every step of the way - including recognizing that a couple in their 50s shouldn't be making plans to keep up
with this little ball of energy for the next two decades and beyond.
"I'm good with goals and working within a time frame, but this is new to everyone," Patsy said.
The first step is convincing Diana, but Patsy says even her most harmless e-mail questions to the orphanage are going unanswered.
Channels for help
Even if Diana gives her consent, she must still get the U.S. and Mexican governments to agree to something that's never been done before. Even
American missionaries who've spent years in Mexico haven't been allowed to adopt children they've grown to know and love, Patsy said.
She's also relied on help for all of Marco's visas so far from U.S. Congressman Phil Crane's office. Now that Crane is leaving office, Patsy knows she
must find a new advocate.
An expert she most needs right now is an attorney specializing in international adoptions who can explain the whole process and what the advantages
and disadvantages are of Marco's particular situation.
Her backup hope is another institution in Mexico for severely handicapped, neglected children. Among the negatives to this plan, though, is that it's
four hours from Diana - meaning that Marco essentially would be an orphan.
Even if all other options were closed to him, though, getting Marco into such a rare institution in a country with so much need for it will be a
challenge.
While the lack of special-needs care in Mexico might seem harsh to U.S. citizens, Charlie said he sympathizes with Mexican President Vicente Fox and
the tough decisions he must make in a country where even so many healthy citizens must struggle to survive.
"There's a lot of Marcos down there," Charlie said. "They have to make do with very limited resources."