Each year there are reports of people who have been attacked by these mobs in Baja. Little reporting is done because of fear of repercussions.
This then is the actual story of a home invasion that happened in April of 1987, Coyote Bay, Mulege.
I’d asked around and, while a very rare event, it seems we were not the only Baja household that had been attacked by…..cows.
Our ‘event’ reminded me of other attacks wrote about in Natl Geographic some time back: In England especially, each year there are reports of people
who have been attacked, or even trampled to death, by cows. (I have no clue as to why this country has so many cow attacks. Maybe an Irish plot?
Too many pints of Guinness?)
But..a cow attack in Baja? Why? Who can say…
Frankly, I think that it must have been a combination of things that freaked out the cows. It was during a full moon, there were calves involved, and
it happened at the beach (where apparently some of rancher Manuel’s cows can go a bit berserk from eating out of garbage cans.) At the La Jungla
cantina they remarked to me, it was indeed Cow Trampling Season .
We are lucky to be alive….and hope something good can come out of this by making people more aware of the dangers.
Co-Pilot had alerted me that we were having cattle. She crashed into my hammock and screamed “ANIMALS!” in my ear.
They seemed to come at us from all directions.
The loud CLACKING! noises of their hooves on the tile was like loud clacking.
One parched marauder seemed drawn to the patio beer fridge. Untangling my foot from the hammock, and narrowly escaping being gored, I managed to snag
two cases of Pacifico.
So what should you do? Keep calm and carry on?
Some cervesa-muddled thoughts came to me…
I tell Co-Pilot to wave her red bikini at them…and “Run, sweetheart! Run!!...Run like a gazelle fleeing a lion pack!
Being a real trooper, she made it to the bedroom in remarkably good time as two of the brutes were closing in on her, butting their red-eyed heads
against the window. Gracias, honey…I can use these needed moments to formulate a plan while guarding the inside beer fridge.
Decisions, decisions….it’s a moment of crisis and one must think muy rapido. ”Aha…I’ll try to blend in with the herd.”
I dupe the horny hordes towards the neighbor’s date trees…and assure Co-Pilot I can retrieve her bikini.
So Nomads, if you should find yourself suddenly surrounded by cattle, move as quietly as possible…and..PETA be damned!... ARM AND DEFEND
YOURSELF!
In the aftermath..looking down at the messy patio tiles, I think to myself..”Hoo-Boy. Looks like another sh-tty day in Paradise.” shari - 11-3-2014 at 08:36 AM
those baby blue shorts have always been my favoritewilderone - 11-3-2014 at 08:36 AM
Made me laugh. Thanksmonoloco - 11-3-2014 at 08:37 AM
I too have been the victim of such an invasion while camping. The culprits went straight for the beer supply, fortunately, they were only interested
in the box, which they duly ate before making their escape.Udo - 11-3-2014 at 08:45 AM
Those same culprits also hang out in Los Barriles.bajabuddha - 11-3-2014 at 09:13 AM
Had the same experience 5 years ago at La Perla about 7 miles south of you. Only my invaders were p*nche GOATS; at least your intruders didn't eat
your house!Sweetwater - 11-3-2014 at 09:19 AM
There have been multiple reports of motos suffering an indignant fate due to the bovine crowd. I have not had the experience but have witnessed said
motos running into the invaders at sub-lethal speeds. They ruminate about the resulting rumination that they endure. Foul, smelly and somewhat
slippery experience. Arm yourself indeed.....Fernweh - 11-3-2014 at 09:47 AM
As you can tell from their hide, some of these culprits are Holsteiner.
Please do not blame the Germans for this sneak attack!Hook - 11-3-2014 at 09:58 AM
I'm calling BS.
This is another slick, Photoshop job by the master, Pompano.
So, I suppose these thugs are hopped up on hormones, eh, and need to "break and enter" to support their habit?Maron - 11-3-2014 at 10:34 AM
BS or not, great story and pictures.
Thanks, a laugh is always a good thing.Pompano - 11-3-2014 at 11:11 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Hook
I'm calling BS.
This is another slick, Photoshop job by the master, Pompano.
So, I suppose these thugs are hopped up on hormones, eh, and need to "break and enter" to support their habit?
About those images, Hook. These are 'captures' ..photo stills made from real VHS movies made at the time. You must excuse the blurred photo copies,
but it's the best I can do for you. But ...yes, I think they are pretty 'slick' at that.
And a helluva lot of fun to do. Hope you all enjoyed the 'cow attack.'
[Edited on 11-3-2014 by Pompano]Bob and Susan - 11-3-2014 at 12:22 PM
cows love the salt-water...
Hook - 11-3-2014 at 01:05 PM
It's all in good fun, Roger. I know the photos are real. Just seemed like a good BS moment.
They come through our neighborhood, occasionally. They've bent over a few of my cyclone fence poles while trying to scratch themselves.Skipjack Joe - 11-3-2014 at 01:20 PM
Methinks you should have saved the bikini, not the beer.
As for their peculiar behaviour - I attribute that to mad cow disease.DanO - 11-3-2014 at 05:28 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Sweetwater
There have been multiple reports of motos suffering an indignant fate due to the bovine crowd. I have not had the experience but have witnessed said
motos running into the invaders at sub-lethal speeds. They ruminate about the resulting rumination that they endure. Foul, smelly and somewhat
slippery experience. Arm yourself indeed.....
A related experience from my childhood was the practice of "cowpattying" while riding offroad motorcycles. Just a few basic, easy to follow
instructions, for "loads" of fun for the whole family:
1. Get a good head start on your riding partner and find a trail with recent cattle activity.
2. Find a fresh cowpatty in the midde of the trail. Preferably still steaming.
3. Position the rear wheel of your bike in the middle of said patty.
4. Put the bike in gear, clutch in.
5. Look over your shoulder like you're bored, waiting for your partner to catch up.
6. When your partner's about 30 feet out (adjusting appropriately for speed), pop the clutch and put the hammer down, with your weight a bit forward
so the rear wheel spins nicely. I found that a little side to side wiggle makes for a nice broad spray pattern.
7. (This is the most important part). Get some traction with that rear wheel and bail!
Note 1: Repercussions are likely to be less severe if you're riding partner is wearing goggles.
Note 2: Always beware of a rider on the trail in front of you waiting for you to catch up.DanO - 11-3-2014 at 05:28 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Sweetwater
There have been multiple reports of motos suffering an indignant fate due to the bovine crowd. I have not had the experience but have witnessed said
motos running into the invaders at sub-lethal speeds. They ruminate about the resulting rumination that they endure. Foul, smelly and somewhat
slippery experience. Arm yourself indeed.....
A related experience from my childhood was the practice of "cowpattying" while riding offroad motorcycles. Just a few basic, easy to follow
instructions, for "loads" of fun for the whole family:
1. Get a good head start on your riding partner and find a trail with recent cattle activity.
2. Find a fresh cowpatty in the midde of the trail. Preferably still steaming.
3. Position the rear wheel of your bike in the middle of said patty.
4. Put the bike in gear, clutch in.
5. Look over your shoulder like you're bored, waiting for your partner to catch up.
6. When your partner's about 30 feet out (adjusting appropriately for speed), pop the clutch and put the hammer down, with your weight a bit forward
so the rear wheel spins nicely. I found that a little side to side wiggle makes for a nice broad spray pattern.
7. (This is the most important part). Get some traction with that rear wheel and bail!
Note 1: Repercussions are likely to be less severe if you're riding partner is wearing goggles.
Note 2: Always beware of a rider on the trail in front of you waiting for you to catch up.Paulina - 11-3-2014 at 07:09 PM
Roger,
Cool thread. How long have you been in the Conception area? Looks like quite a while by the photos...BajaBlanca - 11-4-2014 at 09:13 AM
fun to read!Pompano - 11-5-2014 at 03:55 AM
Woke up way too early to go set goose decoys, so will take the time with some good coffee to reply to this thread about those dang bothersome cows.
As all of us did a long time ago, we became used to the sight of cows foraging in the weirdest places...including garbage cans in our camping areas.
(I don't know what some of that 'stuff' does for the quality of Baja beefsteak...but I suspect it will not make Bon Appetit anytime soon.) Our cows
had a good time seeing the potential grazing reflections in our windows and wanted to get at what they saw. All in all, it was a wild day...and kinda
fun herding the critters. I would love to post a photo of Co-Pilot 'doing her thing', but I don't have a death wish.
Like those blue shorts, eh, shari.....I think I still have them in my dresser. Not quite worn out yet.
Absolutely right, bajabuddha, goats are twice as bad, and we've had them all over the place. They can climb anything...and do.
Sweetwater...I've only 'nudged' a cow in Baja..never hit one hard enough to do damage.
Fernweh...I am completely neutral on blaming any one brand...even though it happened on Dec. 7th.
Bob & Susan..we get some nudist 'waders' from time to time, too.
Igor, on Mad Cow Disease, I remember a few years back when we were RVing back to the States from Alaska and crossing Alberta where the whole mad cow
fracas started. The Alberta premier was on the radio and giving his take on the event...and I quote: "He should have shot, shoveled, and shut-up."
Probably so....
DanO...don't think I'll be trying that 'cowpattying thing'. Whew..
Paulina...thanks for that video, it was....enlightening.
Tioloco...I'm an oldtimer. My Dad and I flew all over Baja Sur in 1959 when I became a teenager for our first visit..saw Mulege from the window of
a Stinson station wagon. Camped in Coyote Bay since the early '70s, plus bought and built homes near Posada, Pta. Chivato, and Coyote Bay. A good
run and a grand time.
Thanks to all for the kind words and replies. Now it's time to go get a nice fat goose for Thanksgiving.
