BajaNomad

Hoppiest IPA ever.

Santiago - 2-20-2016 at 10:48 AM

In my view, IPAs are getting damn-near undrinkable; here's a funny take on the trend. Tangentially Baja-related as it's about beer.

From The New Yorker online


Congratulations on getting your hands on a bottle of Fishdog River Brewing Co.’s Ultimate I.P.A.—twelve ounces of brain-melting hoptastic perfection.

We stopped at nothing to acquire the finest hops money could buy, then packed them into this beer in dangerous quantities. In fact, to make room for more hops, we removed most of the water, yeast, and barley from the recipe. That’s the secret to the Ultimate I.P.A.’s trademark viscosity. But we think you’ll find that having to chew your beer is a small price to pay for the boldest, most unrelenting hop profile on the market. Hop-heads rejoice!

Our Ultimate I.P.A. is so intense that we recommend you draft a living will before cracking this puppy open. If it’s your first time drinking our critically acclaimed brew, there’s a chance your heart may stop for a moment. But that’s a good thing! It means the hops are working. If you happen to see Jesus when you flatline, give that sissy wine-drinker the middle finger for us. Our religion is hops.

When we started developing the recipe for the Ultimate I.P.A., back in 2004, we had one goal: to concoct an ale so utterly undrinkable that the craft-beer community would have no option but to shower it with praise. Since then, we’ve accomplished that and so much more. Our baby has won as many awards as it has caused deaths from hop overdose. We’re proud to share that we’ve wiped out entire Portland suburbs with this tangy nectar.

Our innovative quantum-hopping technique squeezes more hoppy goodness into each and every bottle than traditional Euclidean geometry deems possible. The process is simple: first we snort a generous line of hop dust just to get up our nerve. Then we shoot a billion hops per second into the mash tun using a modified particle accelerator. This rips apart the space-time fabric just enough for us to shove a few extra hops into the cracks with a jackhammer. During the brewing process, it’s common for a rogue scientist to burst in and shout, “That’s too many hops! I need to warn the public!” before sprinting out the door. Lucky for us, no one ever believes him.

To say that we here at Fishdog River love hops is an understatement. If hops had skin, we’d like nothing more than to wear it, Buffalo Bill-style, around our beautiful three-thousand-square-foot, family-owned brewery. Good luck finding that kind of dedication to flavor among our soulless corporate competitors!

The flavor of this beer is aggressively hop-forward, daringly devoid of nuance, and unlike anything you’ve ever tasted before. And we use “taste” loosely because much of your tongue will dissolve after the first hoppy sip. Prepare to enjoy the Ultimate I.P.A.’s tear-inducing chemical aroma, barbed-wire mouth feel, and a finish that can only be described as torturous with a hint of devastating. Rival breweries may find it too risky to sell what technically amounts to poison, but we at Fishdog River believe in pushing the limits of the palate, knowing full well you’ll choke down whatever bitter monstrosity allows you to add another notch to your authenticity belt. Heck, we’re just as hop loco ourselves!

Oh yeah, we almost forgot: this beer will almost certainly make you go blind.

We salute you, intrepid beer drinker. Grab your trusty bottle opener and defibrillator, and let the Ultimate I.P.A. send you straight into the throes of hopgasm. And, remember, if you don’t like it, you’re wrong.

Prost!

woody with a view - 2-20-2016 at 11:24 AM

IPA's are to adults what Baskin Robbins 31 flavors is to a kid. Always a new one you've never tried!

pauldavidmena - 2-20-2016 at 02:20 PM

I'm currently enjoying a comparably tame Stone GoTo IPA, but I'm not above Extreme IPAs within reason. And yes, I have a living will - but also a will to live.

woody with a view - 2-20-2016 at 02:49 PM

Flavor of today? Alpine Brewing Co. Duet.

edit: .

[Edited on 2-20-2016 by woody with a view]

tripledigitken - 2-20-2016 at 03:33 PM

Quote: Originally posted by woody with a view  
Flavor of today? Alpine Brewing Co. Duet.

edit: .

[Edited on 2-20-2016 by woody with a view]


I'll add another San Diego fav, Societe's The Pupil.

Hook - 2-20-2016 at 03:47 PM

I'm glad the pendulum has swung away from extreme hopping of IPAs.......and the humor in this piece is another indication of the move away from hop bombs.

My favorite is still Deschutes Fresh-Squeezed IPA. Some of the hops bitterness replaced by the more balanced essence of grapefruit and tangerine from the Citra and Mosaic hops. Probably the best balanced IPA I have ever had. If they could get just a hint more malt w/o disrupting the balance, I'd probably never drink anything else, ever again. Perfect level of carbonation for my palate.

Even my beer making friends come away impressed with this one.

And while we are on the subject of beers, my favorite oatmeal stout is Founder's Estates Breakfast Stout. Seasonal, of course, and can be difficult to find. If you find it, buy it.

I do like the legendary Pliney the Elder but that's pushing the hops envelope for my tastes.

So, did the sale of Ballast Point Brewery go through? If so, has their beers changed at all?

willardguy - 2-20-2016 at 03:53 PM

just for you rosarito folks....had a conversation with a popular restaurant owner last night thats about to break ground on an honest to goodness craft beer joint on popotla....stand by!;)

pauldavidmena - 2-20-2016 at 04:22 PM

I didn't realize that Ballast Point was on the sales block, but noted this article confirming. I'm also hoping that the wonderful Sculpin IPA recipe doesn't go the way of the Dodo.

Pliny the Elder is a great beer. It's an Imperial IPA that is so well-balanced that you might not notice that it's quietly kicking your a$$. My favorite beer, however, is Vermont's Hill Farmstead Edward. Officially an "American Pale Ale", it's about as close to perfect as I've found in a pint glass.

Hook - 2-20-2016 at 05:04 PM

I believe Lagunitas has also been sold. The original owners supposedly took their profits and will open a large craft brewery in................Mexico.

That's what I was told.

BTW, San Carlos' first craft brew serving restaurant will be opening hopefully on St Paddy's Day. A local guy makes it and sells it under a Modelo license at the restaurant, but is not allowed to make it on site. So, it is made at his man cave in town and brought over in kegs. No bottles.

And I will be handling marketing. No pay; I'm just counting on the perks being worth it.

[Edited on 2-21-2016 by Hook]

woody with a view - 2-20-2016 at 05:29 PM

Quote: Originally posted by Hook  

My favorite is still Deschutes Fresh-Squeezed IPA.
[rquote]

That's a VERY good potion! Check out Sam Adams Rebel IPA for another dose of Neptune's Elixir!

:saint:

edit: :light:

[Edited on 2-21-2016 by woody with a view]

AKgringo - 2-20-2016 at 05:50 PM

Quote: Originally posted by lencho  

Think I missed something in beer history; do hops even GROW in India?:?:


I am not certain about this, but I don't think the original IPA's were brewed in India. I think that the heavy use of hops was to preserve the flavor of the ale on the long voyage to Bombay on British ships.

[Edited on 2-21-2016 by AKgringo]

micah202 - 2-20-2016 at 05:53 PM

Quote: Originally posted by willardguy  
just for you rosarito folks....had a conversation with a popular restaurant owner last night thats about to break ground on an honest to goodness craft beer joint on popotla....stand by!;)



Each brewpub in baja gives more reason to get to baja,,,and more reason not to leave! :spingrin:

DENNIS - 2-20-2016 at 05:57 PM


Sierra Nevada is hoppy enough for me.

woody with a view - 2-20-2016 at 06:07 PM

India = dot, not feather!

DENNIS - 2-20-2016 at 07:37 PM

Quote: Originally posted by woody with a view  
India = dot, not feather!


:lol::lol:

Bajaboy - 2-20-2016 at 08:17 PM

too many to talk about....San Diego is America's Finest Beer City!

micah202 - 2-21-2016 at 11:46 AM

Quote: Originally posted by Bajaboy  
too many to talk about....San Diego is America's Finest Beer City!




.....travel around a bit,,you'll realize there's -many- 'finest beer cities'!! :smug:

bajaguy - 2-21-2016 at 12:20 PM

Hops can grow almost anywhere. Denver, Sacramento, Guadalupe Valley
Quote: Originally posted by lencho  

Think I missed something in beer history; do hops even GROW in India?:?:

micah202 - 2-21-2016 at 12:26 PM

Quote: Originally posted by bajaguy  
Hops can grow almost anywhere. Denver, Sacramento, Guadalupe Valley

Quote: Originally posted by lencho  

Think I missed something in beer history; do hops even GROW in India?:?:


IPA originated from the british dominance of India,,beer was shipped from england,,,the higher alc and hop levels give the beer a much longer shelf-life ;)

...that said,,there's no reason hops can't grow there.


.

Speaking of beer..........

bajaguy - 2-21-2016 at 12:56 PM

http://ensenadabeerfest.com/index.php?mod=1

Santiago - 2-21-2016 at 01:44 PM

Quote: Originally posted by Hook  

And while we are on the subject of beers, my favorite oatmeal stout is Founder's Estates Breakfast Stout. Seasonal, of course, and can be difficult to find. If you find it, buy it.


My 30 year old son says this is his fav stout.

Bajaboy - 2-21-2016 at 03:26 PM

Quote: Originally posted by Santiago  
Quote: Originally posted by Hook  

And while we are on the subject of beers, my favorite oatmeal stout is Founder's Estates Breakfast Stout. Seasonal, of course, and can be difficult to find. If you find it, buy it.


My 30 year old son says this is his fav stout.


Have him try one of the Xocoveza's from Stone if he can find it:

http://www.stonebrewing.com/beer/quingenti-millilitre/xocove...

http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/chris-banker--insurgente--stone...