Well, it all started off so innocent, as I was simply helping a friend with the long drive from Los Angeles to Todos Santos...
Me Amigo politely asked if I minded him bringing some pot along ? I didn't like the idea but allowed him to bring a "little amount " and that he take
FULL responsibility for ALL and any mishaps along the way.
My only other requirement was to leave extremely early so as to miss O.C. and San Diego morning traffic as we were leaving on a Tuesday.
Tuesday, O'Dark thirty comes (3:30 am ) so we are off and running ,cup-o-joe in hand and NO traffic. Wonderful !
We make it to the Tijuana boarder in record time , with help of the radar detector that I brought ,along with my buddies driving skills.
Both of us need our 6 month visa and get it no problem. As we then go through the red/green light thing we are instructed by the guards to go through
x-ray... That was a trip but he did not have to pay any VAT tax even though he was bringing about $5,000 worth of stuff. ( He's building a house
near Todos Santos. ) they let us go...
We fly through Tijuana, Ensenada and the first of three Federal checkpoints just waves us through.
The drive was uneventful down, till we get to North San Quintin , when we are almost stopped going over a tope , we see a pOlice car stopped on the
opposite side of the street at a 45* angle. As we pass I see a Mexican about 50 yrs old , Big mustache and belly to boot, holding a Machete in each
hand. The Machetes aren't the typical one's I've seen , these are bright and shinny, kinda like swords. well he first has then tucked up under his
arms then as he goes towards the police he starts swinging them all around while the Police , guns pointing right at the Mexicans chest, rapidly back
up. I was vary much surprised that they didn't blow him away at that point ? Cops in Los Angeles would'd have put up with that sh*t ! They displayed
amazing restraint, perhaps they wanted him alive ? Or he was the town drunk and they are used to his crazy antics ? Who the Flock knows ?
So ,when one of the Cop's, shoots the ground next to the crazed Mexican, we high-tail it down the road. We do stop about 60 yards down, pull over,
turn the car around to see the action. We then see another cop vehicle pull up as one cop is running for the safety of his opened car door, just as
the two original Cops are rapidly backing up across the highway, guns a blazing , one of them gets hit and goes down hard ! The gun fire is erupting
with at least two dozen shots exchanged so we decide post hast to get the Hell outda there. We skedaddle down the road and see many other cop cars
speeding the other way towards the scene.
We take advantage of the situation and just pull over wherever to take a much needed leak ........
Just for chit & Giggles we both Moon the next speeding cop car that passes ( joking of course ) but did think about it.
Now we're able to speed without much fear. In a while we need something to eat so's we stop at La Parcela 12 just South of San Quintin. It's safe to
say I need a beer more than the food and luckily there a tienda close by . I get the nepoles con res and enjoy the Hell out of it. While were eating
we tell of our story and someone knew about the shooting also and confirmed the Machete guys's demise but not the shot cop ? One more beer and we're
off on the road again, I hadn't yet mentioned that all during our trip my buddy is smoking joints like cigarettes .
Everything is going great until the 2nd. checkpoint ( buddy is putting out a joint as we're coming up on it ( SH*T !) I open the window full in hopes
to air it out FAST !
Well they hassle us badly and even make us empty out our pockets. My buddy has a lighter but no cigs ?
The Feds are asking where are your smokes ? Then WHERE IS THE MARIJUANA ??? Luckily I had brought about six cigars in bag next to me , so I pull um
out and show them.
They still search like crazy but come up with nothing, They got real close when one of them asked about my friends little pocket of his Levis, he has
two joints there so he sticks his finger in and slides the joints over as he opens it up to show nothing there .
Mid way through the search we tell of the Cop shooting and it diverts their attention a bit....
They searched the heck out of the front of the car but not the back as it was as full as anything . It's a Honda Element ( I own one also ) great
cars.
After the scare, I change my underwear as we drive on wishing I would have bought an 8 pack of beer.
A little while latter my buddy opens the little compartment overhead and discovers a forgotten pipe that is loaded with hash.
So he commences to get rid of it by smoking it away while I lite up a cigar to mask the smell.
I have him stash the stuff in the back except for a joint to smoke.
We get by "pot hole city" and before Guerrero Negro the 3rd. checkpoint is upon us as he is smoking a joint, I roll down my window , he hands me whats
left of it and I casually toss it out inconspicuously. We see a dog checking out the truck in front of us and we both Sh*t our pants simultaneously
!!!
For unknown, but much appreciated reasons they take the dog away before we pull up. Again they question and check the Holy heck out of us but didn't
bring the dog over, thank you Jesus. We once again tell of the Cop shooting story. This time they don't make us empty pockets , thank God as my buddy
has the pipe in one of them. ( I didn't know this till after the fact ).
A while latter I tell my friend "thats it " NO MORE ! I am a OK looking gringo with virtually no body hair ( especially my ass ) so I probably
wouldn't fair well in a Mexican prison. My moobs wouldn't help the matter either..... ( For those that don't know what moobs are, Man boobs )
We finally get to Guerrero Negro and check into the TerraSal Hotel. First thing is straight to the bar, well restaurant, for MUCH NEEDED Margaritas.
We're up early again this morning, stop at Pemex for gas y coffee. I now tell my buddy ( I know. I should have told him WAY before this )
he has to get rid of it all. I do let him have one joint ( his last of the trip ) as the next checkpoint isn't till San Ignacio .
We pick a spot on the highway to bury his stash ( he will get it when he drives back in June ) NOT with me !
I tell him I have had enough excitement for this trip and would prefer a non eventful day. PLEASE ....
We get to the San Ignacio checkpoint and breeze through as we do with all the rest of them. Figures.........
Well the relaxing day I wanted was not to be. When one of the many large trucks pass us going the opposite way my buddy gets too close to the edge
and the tires leave the pavement, we get all squirrelly but he does recover . One more pair of underwear needed.
Later we see smoke in the distance , when we get to it there is a big truck gutted from fire still smoking. It had run off the road.
Later in Santa Rosalia we stop for beer ( this time I by a six pack ) and tacos.
Well we make it to Todos Santos in 10 hours, safe and sound , barely.
Believe my I will never do anything like that again ! I was a fool.
They say that God protects drunks, fools and babies, well two outa three ain't bad.... |
not to mention hilarious