How emotional do you get when your kids leave the nest?

My oldest (on the left) just headed back today for his 2nd year of college in the Midwest.

He's driving 2,300 miles with two of his college buddies from Orange County. Wife is pretty upset.





[Edited on 8-23-2021 by JZ]

Quote: Originally posted by RFClark

Generally women are more affected by it than men. Some, but not all suffer from what is called “empty nest syndrome”. It’s often worse if it’s an only or the last child to leave. If the women in question is at or near her change in life it can make it more severe too! Usually it improves after a period of time. Phone calls, Face time and texts help as do other children still at home or working outside the home. ‘ If you’ve been married a long time and have children you will probably have or will experience it at some point (I have!). That said many parents never really stop worrying about their children and ultimately grandchildren (I do!). I think it’s something natural to most of us and a good thing.

Quote: Originally posted by BajaBlanca

I cried for a whole month beforehand, in secret, so they would not be negatively affected. I was incredibly depressed for quite a while but I do have a funny story: I have two kids, one was born in December and the other I adopted and he was born in January. Same age so they went to college the same month. Marc, the one in Germany (American Air Force) now, left first. He went to Florida for college. Rafael, my adopted son, decided to go to UC Santa Barbara. They have a 3 day orientation for both parents and freshmen, and for months, he could not wait to leave. Oh my gosh, he made me miserable, complained about everything. Finally, the day to drive him up and go to orientation came. We lived in San Diego and it was a 4 plus hour drive. We left early Friday and of course, I had reserved a hotel for Friday and Saturday nights. We arrive and off to campus we went. First step in the process separated parents and students and lasted about 3 hours. We parents were asked not to let our students return home the first weekends after school started, so that kids would have time to adjust and become independent. Fat chance of his wanting to come home ran through my mind. Enter Rafael, he looks me in the eye and says, Mom, I think I made a mistake and I would like to go home. I sighed. Audibly. Looked him in the eye and said: Sure, no problem. I only ask that we go home tomorrow since I am really tired from the drive. He smiled and said OK. At lunch, he and I were at a table and he went to get his food. I saw a young girl at a table next to us, all by herself. Come to find she was Vietnamese, her mom spoke no English, the father had left them and created another family with another woman so, she was doing orientation by herself. She joined me at the table and when Rafael came back, I introduced her and suggested they attend the rest of the afternoon orientation together. They did and when he came back, at the end of the day, he said...I think I will be OK, Mom. Jeez, what a day! I still miss my kids being at home more than 20 years later hahahaha

Quote: Originally posted by billklaser

Having 4 kids that left for college almost 30 years ago now, I always looked at this as a transition to adulthood. We did things to aid this process, but also let them have independence for themselves. Now all is well with all 4 kids having done well for themselves! I never felt a sense of loss, but one of enjoying the process of life.

Quote: Originally posted by Timinator

I was kind of bummed when one came back!

Quote: Originally posted by Barry A.

Quote: Originally posted by billklaser   Having 4 kids that left for college almost 30 years ago now, I always looked at this as a transition to adulthood. We did things to aid this process, but also let them have independence for themselves. Now all is well with all 4 kids having done well for themselves! I never felt a sense of loss, but one of enjoying the process of life. Exactly, Bill. I can tell the exact same story with my 2 blood kids and my 2 Step-kids (3 boys and 1 girl)-----all 4 doing just great, 2 being College grads and being professionally employed (Lawyer, CEO). Interestingly, the one boy not a "College Grad" is doing the best financially, co-owning 7 different but similar small Health-clinics in Texas, all doing great. Neither my Wife nor myself were particularly "emotional" about their going off on their own other than being really proud of them. Our 4th Son, a College Grad, but physically handi-capped, is a "Stay at home Dad" and is really good at it, his Wife says. She is a CA Master Teacher. We are close to all of them, even tho they are really scattered around the Western USA.

Quote: Originally posted by John Harper

My parents raised us to leave the nest. Pretty sure they were happy to get rid of me and the next year my sister. We felt likewise. I'm sure your son will do just fine and he seems to have been raised very well by caring and thoughtful parents. Congratulations to you and your wife! The circle of life. Another chapter begins. John [Edited on 8-24-2021 by John Harper]

Quote: Originally posted by John Harper

My parents raised us to leave the nest. Pretty sure they were happy to get rid of me and the next year my sister. We felt likewise. I'm sure your son will do just fine and he seems to have been raised very well by caring and thoughtful parents. Congratulations to you and your wife! The circle of life. Another chapter begins. John