BajaNomad - Don't anger the Wind Gods

Don't anger the Wind Gods

Osprey - 9-7-2007 at 08:51 AM

Hurricane Henriette

Dear Lowlife Cabeño (for the Spanish challenged, a resident of Cabo San Lucas, Mexico),

I don’t know what you did or who you did it to but your transgressions have incurred the wrath of the wind gods. While they visit upon you appropriate avengement they inadvertently cause serious collateral damage.

For this reason we demand you remove yourself from this place, return to Weaselbreath, Arkansas for the balance of your punishment and leave us what’s left of our erstwhile Eden.

In the last couple of summer season you have brought down upon us unspeakable destruction from a chilling chain of storms such as Ignacio, Marty and John. Even now we suffer through another direct hit tempest named Henriette. While Henriette carries half the force of some powerhouse tempests, it is dropping an inch of rain each hour, turning timid arroyos into raging copper-stained rivers.

I am not a bystander; like thousands of others I have been frantically moving about for two solid days and nights doing all the hundred and one things necessary to protect property, people and pets from the awesome power of wind and water.

It is 11:32 AM – the wind and rain began ten hours ago and may not abate for another eight hours (one storm, Ignacio stalled and punished us for 50 straight hours).

My wife and I choose to pass the storm right here on my outside patio under the palm palapa which has held up admirably for twelve years in this stormy corridor. We lost power at 8:00 AM – it usually takes several days for it to be restored, during which time our lives are changed to mimic those who once lived in caves or wikiups. I mean my forebears no dishonor when I say the bucolic lifestyle is dull and arduous.

Our patio is surrounded by a tropical jungle of greenery – I watch the grinding wind bend and brake and ruin the delicate platano de jardin, shred and flatten an emerald hummock of luxuriant heliconium, defoliate the resilient plumeria, denude the fragile limbs of the flamboyant, the Tree of Fire. A latte river runs down the dirt street at our gate, forming a lake on the bajada near the beach. We can see powerlines snap and arc but the whipcrack sound is lost in the howls and susserations of the terrible wind.

We hold hands in a tacit vow of partnership; we’ll need all our strength when the storm abates. We will do whatever is necessary to mend our broken trappings, our lives and our dreams.

And you, the one who caused all of this, I hope one of your timeshare gomers shakes your hand to thank you for the vacation-investment opportunity of a lifetime, then passes on to your palm the rare and ravenous flesh-eating bacteria just before you step up on to the 10:30 Three-Star Aguila autobus to Yuma.

capn.sharky - 9-7-2007 at 09:14 AM

I have heard of Bum---k, India....but Weaselbreath, Arkansas is a new one to me. Is land cheap there. Do the Clinton's live there part time? Que Paso?

What a dips---t!

Dave - 9-7-2007 at 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by capn.sharky
I have heard of Bum---k, India....but Weaselbreath, Arkansas is a new one to me.

It's either Bum---k, Iowa or Idaho. I've heard there is also a Bum---k, Egypt but...who cares?

toneart - 9-7-2007 at 10:11 AM

I presume Osprey's piece is either fiction or was written Tuesday during Henriette. I hope that particular "lowlife Cabeno" is not still evoking the wrath of Henriette reminants.

Don Alley - 9-7-2007 at 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dave

Quote:

Originally posted by capn.sharky
I have heard of Bum---k, India....but Weaselbreath, Arkansas is a new one to me.

It's either Bum---k, Iowa or Idaho. I've heard there is also a Bum---k, Egypt but...who cares?

C'mon...no such place in Idaho.

But there is an Athol, Idaho.

Sure there is

Dave - 9-7-2007 at 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Don Alley
C'mon...no such place in Idaho.

Just ask the Senior Senator from Midvale.

toneart - 9-7-2007 at 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dave

Quote:

Originally posted by Don Alley
C'mon...no such place in Idaho.

Just ask the Senior Senator from Midvale.

Gnome-ad - 9-7-2007 at 06:05 PM

Osprey ~

I hate to say it, but it may have been a friend of ours here in TS who caused this. He kept saying for a couple of weeks and I quote exactly, "I want to experience a real hurricane and have my panties scared off." It was a case of be careful what you wish for with second thoughts expressed as Henriette came closer. He found out you can't watch the US Open or whatever when the electricity is out ...

Hope your life and garden can return to normal soon.

CaboRon - 9-7-2007 at 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dave

Quote:

Originally posted by Don Alley
C'mon...no such place in Idaho.

Just ask the Senior Senator from Midvale.

He sure stuck his foot in it didn't he :lol:

CaboRon - 9-7-2007 at 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gnome-ad
Osprey ~

I hate to say it, but it may have been a friend of ours here in TS who caused this. He kept saying for a couple of weeks and I quote exactly, "I want to experience a real hurricane and have my panties scared off." It was a case of be careful what you wish for with second thoughts expressed as Henriette came closer. He found out you can't watch the US Open or whatever when the electricity is out ...

Hope your life and garden can return to normal soon.

Gnome_ad,

We need names.......

It appears that the TV Gods punished him for his transgressions.... :lol:

CaboRon

CaboRon - 9-7-2007 at 06:36 PM

Quote:

Gnome_ad,

It wasn't Amir was it ? :lol:

I thought his posts during the storm were getting a little whimsical :lol:

CaboRon

Gnome-ad - 9-8-2007 at 12:23 PM

CaboRon ~

To protect the non-innocent

I cannot divulge names, but I WILL SAY that it was not me or Amir who wished for any such events … no danger of us annoying the TV gods either, unless it annoys them that we currently don’t own a TV (poor us).

:lol:

DENNIS - 9-8-2007 at 12:31 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Gnome-ad
Osprey ~

"I want to experience a real hurricane and have my panties scared off." It was a case of be careful what you wish for with second thoughts expressed as Henriette came closer. He found out you can't watch the US Open or whatever when the electricity is out ...

"He" wears panties?

woody with a view - 9-8-2007 at 12:38 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by DENNIS

Quote:
Originally posted by Gnome-ad
Osprey ~

"I want to experience a real hurricane and have my panties scared off." It was a case of be careful what you wish for with second thoughts expressed as Henriette came closer. He found out you can't watch the US Open or whatever when the electricity is out ...

"He" wears panties?

are we the only ones that noticed, Dennis?

woody with a view - 9-8-2007 at 12:39 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Dave

Quote:
Originally posted by capn.sharky
I have heard of Bum---k, India....but Weaselbreath, Arkansas is a new one to me.

It's either Bum---k, Iowa or Idaho. I've heard there is also a Bum---k, Egypt but...who cares?

it is two counties over from "Pigsknuckle, Arkansas"

Gnome-ad - 9-8-2007 at 12:43 PM

Hey you guys ~

I only reported what I heard him say (more than once). I did not check to see if he actually wears panties ... I will take his word for it and will not check, even if you plead with me.

I did ask after the storm how his panties were and if indeed they were scared off. He replied, "Nearly."

vandy - 9-8-2007 at 12:43 PM

In my environmental science classes in North Carolina a few years ago, I had a professor who said that blaming a hurricane for the destruction of your home is like painting yourself gray, lying in the road and blaming the truck that hits you.

Osprey - 9-9-2007 at 07:58 AM

Vandy, I was just having some fictional fun. Can't blame the hurricane for where you chose to live -- after all, it is The Tropics. So I blamed a guy in San Lucas. Your prof brings up some interesting foundation for existential pondering. How about painting yourself yellow and laying on the center line? How about the tope position? Go out proudly being a tope. And down here most folks hug the center, many go around the topes. b-tching and complaining about my troubles is my hobby anyway so I wouldn't, couldn't live anywhere else.

Cypress - 9-9-2007 at 09:22 AM

It's too cold in Idaho for hurricanes, but that guy can come up here this winter and freeze his panties off. I intend to be down in Mulege. Anybody know of a 3 or 4 month rental that will be available from Nov. thru March at a very reasonable rate? Two people. No pets. Please u2u if you have/know of anything. Thanks.

woody with a view - 9-9-2007 at 10:38 AM

Quote:

Go out proudly being a tope

toneart - 9-9-2007 at 11:44 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Osprey
Vandy, I was just having some fictional fun. Can't blame the hurricane for where you chose to live -- after all, it is The Tropics. So I blamed a guy in San Lucas. Your prof brings up some interesting foundation for existential pondering. How about painting yourself yellow and laying on the center line? How about the tope position? Go out proudly being a tope. And down here most folks hug the center, many go around the topes. b-tching and complaining about my troubles is my hobby anyway so I wouldn't, couldn't live anywhere else.

One of my favorite cartoons of many years ago was a one pane drawing. The cartoon strip was called "The Quigleys' or "The Quigmans".....something like that. Anyway, it showed a guy lying across a road, feet up and wearing a tie.
The caption was, "Afflicted by a low sense of self-esteem, Bob decided to take a job as a speed bump.

Gnome-ad - 9-9-2007 at 04:24 PM

Good reason to work on my self esteem - do not want to go out as a tope, speed bump or Hobb's knobs!

Don't think our friend is interested in freezing his panties off - he's a SoCal boomer, but I'll make him the offer ...

Osprey - 9-9-2007 at 04:54 PM

Gnome-ad, in the U.S. those are Botts Dots

Gnome-ad - 9-9-2007 at 05:41 PM

Thanks Osprey -

I will add that to my list of jobs to not apply for or volunteer to do!

Iflyfish - 9-11-2007 at 01:06 AM

I am just a tope from Muskogee.......or something like that?

Iflyfish

pappy - 9-11-2007 at 09:38 PM

panties? no, i wear speedos which allow me the ability to swim/ traverse water epsodes....

pappy - 9-11-2007 at 09:40 PM

to clarify, i'm not the one to wish upon having my panties scared off...just always got the gear for what's needed to survive the storm...