Quinceañeras In Mexico (15th Birthdays)

My daughter celebrated her 15th birthday last summer. Had she been staying the summer at her mother’s place in Washington, she would have had a get-together with ten or fifteen of her friends at either the youth center at the local military base or at the city’s bowling alley. It would have been a low-key informal affair and they’d have eaten pizza and perhaps some lumpia (a filipino party favorite) made by her mother.

If my ex-wife had succeeded in convincing me to let her take my daughter with her to visit family in the Philippines over the summer, the celebration—if there was one—would have been a small affair and my daughter would have spent the occasion surrounded by people she couldn’t understand, sweltering in some first-rate tropical heat.

But my daughter, who spent most of her formative years living with Bajalera and me in Mexico, celebrated her Quinceañera (15th birthday) in La Paz.

For those who don’t know it, the Quinceañera has traditionally been the Big Birthday Event for young ladies in Mexico. Interestingly, no such coming-of-age party is held for young men. By tradition fourteen-year-old Mexican girls magically become señoritas on their 15th birthday. On that day, they’re transformed from little kids not to be taken too seriously into young ladies who are allowed to dance at social gatherings and go on dates with young suitors, under the watchful eye of a chaperon, of course. Families of means were expected to throw a huge formal affair full of ritual and symbolism to officially present their eligible bachelorettes to society. Such occasions have often been used by families to create new political ties or resurrect old ones with prominent local families and the guest lists frequently included more friends of the celebrant’s parents than of her own. The young lady’s padrinos (godparents) were often selected with an eye to social or political connections. To pay for the affair, it wasn’t (and still isn’t) unusual for less well-off families to assume loans that could take years to repay. But if all went well, the celebration could be seen as an investment in the family’s future.

Although the Quinceañera is no longer what it once was (what is?), the party can still be a heavy economic burden for many families. Often, middle class folks begin saving and planning for the event a couple of years in advance—or, at least the girl’s mother does. With three months to go, the family has reserved the salon de eventos (social hall) where the affair is to be held and made an appointment at the family church for a Quinceañera mass to be held on or near the birthdate. A person with dancing experience is hired to choreograph a vals (waltz) and perhaps a baile sorpresa (surprise dance) to be performed for the guests by the birthday girl and a few of her closest male friends (for the waltz). The music and choreography for the two dances is a carefully guarded secret in the weeks leading up to the event. Often, a video production company is contacted to make a video collage of images of the young lady as she grew up and to take video at the event itself. A Quinceañera dress is bought or ordered from a trusted seamstress and a pair of high-heeded shoes—traditionally the young lady’s first—are bought. In the week before her birthday, the birthday girl poses for a formal portrait in full regalia. In the past, these pictures were for el recuerdo (the memory), but in more recent times such photographs are enlarged, framed and mounted at the entrance to the salon de eventos for the guests’ viewing as they arrive. These days, many Quinceañeras have a theme, my daughter's was "Carnaval" so masks were provided to the guests.

On the day of the Big Event, the Quinceañera is taken to a beautician to have her hair and nails done and makeup applied before putting on her quinceañera dress and going to mass at a local church. The celebrant can be taken to church in the family sedan (although it will usually be treated to a good detailing and adorned with flowers) or a car may be hired for the occasion. The celebration of the mass, known as an action de gracia (giving thanks), marks the official beginning of the day’s festivities. At the mass, the young lady gains another padrino and madrina in her life (Mexicans typically acquire godparents when they are baptized and when they do their First Communion). While guests are encouraged to attend the mass, many don’t bother, especially men.

After the mass, the young lady is loaded up in the car and taken away while the people begin arriving at the salon de eventos for the party, which is by invitation only with controlled access. The event is usually a formal affair with fine line, chair slip covers and perhaps a floral arrangement. Music can be live or provided by a contracted DJ de luz y sonido (light and sound DJ) and is often a combination of both. Guests are usually seated as they arrive and offered a drink while they wait for the Quinceañera to make her grand entrance. Each table includes a centerpiece that is meant to be taken by one of those seated at the table as a remembrance of the event. This can vary from something made at home with the girl’s name on it to a lavish crystal piece. Women or young girls are the ones who usually take them home.

The guests clap when the young lady is finally ushered in and begins to perform her personalized waltz accompanied by her chamberlanes. The waltz is a sort of “coming of age” ritualized affair that involves her passing amongst the boys until she settles with one. After the waltz, the Quinceañera takes a seat at center stage and her father comes out and kneels before her, taking off the shoes she has been wearing up until now (usually casual shoes), and replacing them with her first pair of high heels, symbolizing her coming of age. Once the shoes are in place, the two of them will share a dance together, her first official dance in the adult world. At some point, the padrino will butt in to take over the dance and he will often be followed by the girl’s uncles, cousins and brothers. After this song is over, if she has chosen to, the celebrant will dance the “baile sorpresa,” which is usually a modern, heavily-choreographed dance. After this, the floor is open to dancing before dinner is served.

At least, that is how quinceañeras have traditionally been celebrated in Mexico (with the exception of the baile sorpresa, which seems to be a recent addition). Since we have three kids that are in the age group, we have attended several quinceañeras in the last couple of years and have noted how they are changing since I attended them in my younger days. As many of the city’s salon de eventos now have pools, pool parties—previously unheard of—are becoming more popular. At a couple of the recent quinceañeras we attended it was painfully obvious that the party was really something the mother wanted for herself, which left the birthday girl feeling like she hadn’t even celebrated her own birthday. Instead of hosting the traditional party, some families we know have offered their daughters the choice of a car or travel abroad (one went to Disneyland with her family)—likely to avoid all of the headaches that go with putting on such an affair.

For my own daughter’s Quinceañera, we had an amalgam of the traditional Mexican celebration with liberal gringo leanings, which included the omitting of several of the traditional aspects of the affair. Since we aren’t particularly religious in our family, we opted out of the mass and passed up the chance to add to the godparent list (she only has one set). Because our place is quite large and has a pool, we decided to host the event at home, although we did rent tables and chairs and accompanying accoutrements for the occasion. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law are excellent professional seamstresses, so each made a part of my daughter’s dress and my wife added her own touches to it. With the advent of MP3 technology, my daughter had no problem burning several CDs of her favorite music and we used the family stereo for sound. I cooked lasagna salad and garlic bread for seventy people and a good friend provided the cake, which was beautiful and simply delicious.

The guests all seemed to enjoy the party, many leaving only after I turned off the music at 2 a.m. (I turned it down at 11 p.m.). Most important to me, my daughter had a great time and was much appreciative of the family effort it took to host the event.

But I’m sure glad I only have one daughter.

My Proud Quinceañera


With her "chamberlans" two of whom are her brothers


The Grand Entrance


Dancing the Waltz


Her first Official Dance with the Old Man. That was a touching moment for me since she knew just what to say


Dancing the Baile Sorpresa


The Birthday cake, complements of a good friend


The center pieces for the table, given away

so up until they're 15 they are chica's is that correct? and when does a senorita become a senora?

I guess I should have written STUFF IT. Your remark just sounded a little
S-N-I-D-E to me.

Quote:

Originally posted by watizname I guess I should have written STUFF IT. Your remark just sounded a little S-N-I-D-E to me.

Modern Rites

Quote:

Originally posted by DENNIS Quote: Originally posted by watizname I guess I should have written STUFF IT. Your remark just sounded a little S-N-I-D-E to me. Nothing snide intended....only background on one tradition as practiced in different cultures. Tripper is an Anthropologist and I'm sure he took no offense. I would hope not, anyway.

Quote:

Originally posted by willardguy so up until they're 15 they are chica's is that correct? and when does a senorita become a senora?

Quote:

Originally posted by willardguy so up until they're 15 they are chica's is that correct? and when does a senorita become a senora?

Quote:

Originally posted by DENNIS Quote: Originally posted by watizname I guess I should have written STUFF IT. Your remark just sounded a little S-N-I-D-E to me. Nothing snide intended....only background on one tradition as practiced in different cultures. Tripper is an Anthropologist and I'm sure he took no offense. I would hope not, anyway.

None whatsoever, Dennis. Finding out how little a degree in anthropology is actually worth now that I'm job searching. I'm thinking of taking up truck driving, that seems to pay pretty well

will there be a jug of ricea at the celebration?

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Originally posted by Bajatripper I'm thinking of taking up truck driving, that seems to pay pretty well

Quote:

Originally posted by willardguy so up until they're 15 they are chica's is that correct? and when does a senorita become a senora?

More gender confusion. Better use an "A" at the end of "casada" if it belongs to a she.
Jes Kiddin'. I'm not the spelling cop around here.

Quote:

Originally posted by DENNIS Quote: Originally posted by greengoes When she is casado (married). More gender confusion. Better use an "A" at the end of "casada" if it belongs to a she. Jes Kiddin'. I'm not the spelling cop around here.

Stop it.

Would that be "hey...tú" or "oiga...usted"?