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Bajatripper
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Quinceañeras In Mexico (15th Birthdays)
My daughter celebrated her 15th birthday last summer. Had she been staying the summer at her mother’s place in Washington, she would have had a
get-together with ten or fifteen of her friends at either the youth center at the local military base or at the city’s bowling alley. It would have
been a low-key informal affair and they’d have eaten pizza and perhaps some lumpia (a filipino party favorite) made by her mother.
If my ex-wife had succeeded in convincing me to let her take my daughter with her to visit family in the Philippines over the summer, the
celebration—if there was one—would have been a small affair and my daughter would have spent the occasion surrounded by people she couldn’t
understand, sweltering in some first-rate tropical heat.
But my daughter, who spent most of her formative years living with Bajalera and me in Mexico, celebrated her Quinceañera (15th birthday) in
La Paz.
For those who don’t know it, the Quinceañera has traditionally been the Big Birthday Event for young ladies in Mexico. Interestingly, no such
coming-of-age party is held for young men. By tradition fourteen-year-old Mexican girls magically become señoritas on their 15th birthday. On
that day, they’re transformed from little kids not to be taken too seriously into young ladies who are allowed to dance at social gatherings and go on
dates with young suitors, under the watchful eye of a chaperon, of course. Families of means were expected to throw a huge formal affair full of
ritual and symbolism to officially present their eligible bachelorettes to society. Such occasions have often been used by families to create new
political ties or resurrect old ones with prominent local families and the guest lists frequently included more friends of the celebrant’s parents
than of her own. The young lady’s padrinos (godparents) were often selected with an eye to social or political connections. To pay for the
affair, it wasn’t (and still isn’t) unusual for less well-off families to assume loans that could take years to repay. But if all went well, the
celebration could be seen as an investment in the family’s future.
Although the Quinceañera is no longer what it once was (what is?), the party can still be a heavy economic burden for many families. Often, middle
class folks begin saving and planning for the event a couple of years in advance—or, at least the girl’s mother does. With three months to go, the
family has reserved the salon de eventos (social hall) where the affair is to be held and made an appointment at the family church for a
Quinceañera mass to be held on or near the birthdate. A person with dancing experience is hired to choreograph a vals (waltz) and perhaps a
baile sorpresa (surprise dance) to be performed for the guests by the birthday girl and a few of her closest male friends (for the waltz).
The music and choreography for the two dances is a carefully guarded secret in the weeks leading up to the event. Often, a video production company
is contacted to make a video collage of images of the young lady as she grew up and to take video at the event itself. A Quinceañera dress is bought
or ordered from a trusted seamstress and a pair of high-heeded shoes—traditionally the young lady’s first—are bought. In the week before her birthday,
the birthday girl poses for a formal portrait in full regalia. In the past, these pictures were for el recuerdo (the memory), but in more
recent times such photographs are enlarged, framed and mounted at the entrance to the salon de eventos for the guests’ viewing as they arrive. These
days, many Quinceañeras have a theme, my daughter's was "Carnaval" so masks were provided to the guests.
On the day of the Big Event, the Quinceañera is taken to a beautician to have her hair and nails done and makeup applied before putting on her
quinceañera dress and going to mass at a local church. The celebrant can be taken to church in the family sedan (although it will usually be treated
to a good detailing and adorned with flowers) or a car may be hired for the occasion. The celebration of the mass, known as an action de
gracia (giving thanks), marks the official beginning of the day’s festivities. At the mass, the young lady gains another padrino and madrina in
her life (Mexicans typically acquire godparents when they are baptized and when they do their First Communion). While guests are encouraged to attend
the mass, many don’t bother, especially men.
After the mass, the young lady is loaded up in the car and taken away while the people begin arriving at the salon de eventos for the party, which is
by invitation only with controlled access. The event is usually a formal affair with fine line, chair slip covers and perhaps a floral arrangement.
Music can be live or provided by a contracted DJ de luz y sonido (light and sound DJ) and is often a combination of both. Guests are usually
seated as they arrive and offered a drink while they wait for the Quinceañera to make her grand entrance. Each table includes a centerpiece that is
meant to be taken by one of those seated at the table as a remembrance of the event. This can vary from something made at home with the girl’s name on
it to a lavish crystal piece. Women or young girls are the ones who usually take them home.
The guests clap when the young lady is finally ushered in and begins to perform her personalized waltz accompanied by her chamberlanes. The
waltz is a sort of “coming of age” ritualized affair that involves her passing amongst the boys until she settles with one. After the waltz, the
Quinceañera takes a seat at center stage and her father comes out and kneels before her, taking off the shoes she has been wearing up until now
(usually casual shoes), and replacing them with her first pair of high heels, symbolizing her coming of age. Once the shoes are in place, the two of
them will share a dance together, her first official dance in the adult world. At some point, the padrino will butt in to take over the dance and he
will often be followed by the girl’s uncles, cousins and brothers. After this song is over, if she has chosen to, the celebrant will dance the “baile
sorpresa,” which is usually a modern, heavily-choreographed dance. After this, the floor is open to dancing before dinner is served.
At least, that is how quinceañeras have traditionally been celebrated in Mexico (with the exception of the baile sorpresa, which seems to be a recent
addition). Since we have three kids that are in the age group, we have attended several quinceañeras in the last couple of years and have noted how
they are changing since I attended them in my younger days. As many of the city’s salon de eventos now have pools, pool parties—previously unheard
of—are becoming more popular. At a couple of the recent quinceañeras we attended it was painfully obvious that the party was really something the
mother wanted for herself, which left the birthday girl feeling like she hadn’t even celebrated her own birthday. Instead of hosting the traditional
party, some families we know have offered their daughters the choice of a car or travel abroad (one went to Disneyland with her family)—likely to
avoid all of the headaches that go with putting on such an affair.
For my own daughter’s Quinceañera, we had an amalgam of the traditional Mexican celebration with liberal gringo leanings, which included the omitting
of several of the traditional aspects of the affair. Since we aren’t particularly religious in our family, we opted out of the mass and passed up the
chance to add to the godparent list (she only has one set). Because our place is quite large and has a pool, we decided to host the event at home,
although we did rent tables and chairs and accompanying accoutrements for the occasion. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law are excellent professional
seamstresses, so each made a part of my daughter’s dress and my wife added her own touches to it. With the advent of MP3 technology, my daughter had
no problem burning several CDs of her favorite music and we used the family stereo for sound. I cooked lasagna salad and garlic bread for seventy
people and a good friend provided the cake, which was beautiful and simply delicious.
The guests all seemed to enjoy the party, many leaving only after I turned off the music at 2 a.m. (I turned it down at 11 p.m.). Most important to
me, my daughter had a great time and was much appreciative of the family effort it took to host the event.
But I’m sure glad I only have one daughter.
My Proud Quinceañera
With her "chamberlans" two of whom are her brothers
The Grand Entrance
Dancing the Waltz
Her first Official Dance with the Old Man. That was a touching moment for me since she knew just what to say
Dancing the Baile Sorpresa
The Birthday cake, complements of a good friend
The center pieces for the table, given away
There most certainly is but one side to every story: the TRUTH. Variations of it are nothing but lies.
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DENNIS
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Bajatripper
For those who don’t know it, the Quinceañera has traditionally been the Big Birthday Event for young ladies in Mexico. Interestingly, no such
coming-of-age party is held for young men. By tradition fourteen-year-old Mexican girls magically become señoritas on their 15th birthday. On
that day, they’re transformed from little kids not to be taken too seriously into young ladies who are allowed to dance at social gatherings and go on
dates with young suitors, under the watchful eye of a chaperon, of course. Families of means were expected to throw a huge formal affair full of
ritual and symbolism to officially present their eligible bachelorettes to society.
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A more indelicate term for the event is "Puberty Rites." Our culture has a similar celebration called a "Debutante Ball," but, again, in our case,
passage into womanhood seems to be reserved for the well-to-do, and blue collar candidates need not apply. One girl's country club is another's
drive-in movie.
.
[Edited on 12-22-2012 by DENNIS]
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watizname
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Oh,-- STUFFIT Dennis.
Congrats Tripper. You have every right to be proud.
I yam what I yam and that\'s all what I yam.
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Ateo
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Very cool and unique post. Thanks Bajatripper.
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willardguy
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so up until they're 15 they are chica's is that correct? and when does a senorita become a senora? 
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jbcoug
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Tripper,
Thanks for sharing a once in a lifetime event. Very impressive! Beautiful daughter and proud dad make for a pretty awesome day.
John
\"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.\" Andy Rooney
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Terry28
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That is one beautiful young lady..You have every right to be proud!!
Mexico!! Where two can live as cheaply as one.....but it costs twice as much.....
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DENNIS
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| Quote: | Originally posted by watizname
Oh,-- STUFFIT Dennis.
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I guess you never took an Anthropology class in college. Look up that big word if it leaves you confused. It's spelled C-o-l-l-e-g-e.
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capt. mike
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biggest one i ever saw was at Serenidad. Dad was a rico contractor. Spent thousands - good for Johnson.
Band played till 4:00 am.....no sleep that night.
formerly Ordained in Rev. Ewing\'s Church by Mail - busted on tax fraud.......
Now joined L. Ron Hoover\'s church of Appliantology
\"Remember there is a big difference between kneeling down and bending over....\"
www.facebook.com/michael.l.goering |
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David K
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Thank you Steve (BajaTripper) for the look at the event... happened just several days after we were there at your beautiful La Paz home.
How fortunate that your daughter could have her birthday in La Paz and be with her friends and most of her family.
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watizname
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I guess I should have written STUFF IT. Your remark just sounded a little
S-N-I-D-E to me. 
I yam what I yam and that\'s all what I yam.
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Udo
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Thanks for the history background, Steve.
We are invited to a Quinceañera this afternoon (as well as the night).
Shari explained what the story is behind the celebration, but your written explanation is quite detailed.
Mil Gracias!
Udo
Youth is wasted on the young!
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TMW
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Great, thanks for sharing. A proud young lady and a very proud dad.
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DENNIS
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| Quote: | Originally posted by watizname
I guess I should have written STUFF IT. Your remark just sounded a little
S-N-I-D-E to me. |
Nothing snide intended....only background on one tradition as practiced in different cultures.
Tripper is an Anthropologist and I'm sure he took no offense. I would hope not, anyway.
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EnsenadaDr
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Modern Rites
What a beautiful girl and what a wonderful dad to do that for her. It looks like you went all out!! I plan on giving my daughter her Quinceanera in
Mexico. She as well grew up in Mexico. And the only rites that I will observe is the right to keep my daughter's mind occupied with education and
other interests till she so she has a fighting chance to support herself in this world. Puberty may be a physical readiness to bear children, but a
parent with any brains wouldn't allow their young adolescent to get herself in a situation that would make that a reality. So I agree with DENNIS
that rite is ancient and hopefully in our day and age, stays in the history books of anthropology. If other parents allow their girls to get
precocious, then they are not fulfilling their obligations as parents. It happens, and when it does, it is heartbreaking. | Quote: | Originally posted by DENNIS
| Quote: | Originally posted by watizname
I guess I should have written STUFF IT. Your remark just sounded a little
S-N-I-D-E to me. |
Nothing snide intended....only background on one tradition as practiced in different cultures.
Tripper is an Anthropologist and I'm sure he took no offense. I would hope not, anyway. |
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EnsenadaDr
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Mood: Move on. It is just a chapter in the past, but don't close the book- just turn the page
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A senora is generally a married woman. I did ask that question to some local Mexicans, and generally it doesn't depend on age, it is more when they
are actually married. If you see an older woman you would say Senora because in the Mexican culture you would assume they are married. Chica is a
slang word, mostly the corrrect word for girl is muchacha. Like Steve, I am sure, our daughters are precious to us and our little princesses, and we
want the best for them. | Quote: | Originally posted by willardguy
so up until they're 15 they are chica's is that correct? and when does a senorita become a senora? |
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Bajatripper
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| Quote: | Originally posted by willardguy
so up until they're 15 they are chica's is that correct? and when does a senorita become a senora? |
Officially, when they get married. But "señorita" is also reserved, informally, for use with virgins. On ranches in the interior I've heard people say
of young unmarried ladies "ya no es señorita" (she is no longer a señorita) in reference to women who had "relaciones" already.
There most certainly is but one side to every story: the TRUTH. Variations of it are nothing but lies.
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shari
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wonderful detailed post on a very important cultural event...and what a lovely daughter...I bet she loved the ritual. It is most girls dream party and
even poor folks save for a long long time and can spend thousands on the 2 day event.
One other thing they do here is the girl/woman stands up on a chair and it blindfolded or covers her eyes as the damitas and little girls dance around
her in a cirlce...she waves a Barbie doll over her head and throws it back....kind of like throwing the bouquet in a wedding. The lucky girl who
catches it gets a beautiful big fancy Barbie to keep...this signifies the throwing away of her childhood dolls.
The tradition here is to have a big feast the following day to feed everyone...all the hung over folks who danced till 3-4 in the morning...so it is a
2 day event.
We are thrilled that Udo & Jana will join us tonight and see it in person...it will be good to dance a cumbia with Iflyfish too!
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Bajatripper
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| Quote: | Originally posted by DENNIS
| Quote: | Originally posted by watizname
I guess I should have written STUFF IT. Your remark just sounded a little
S-N-I-D-E to me. |
Nothing snide intended....only background on one tradition as practiced in different cultures.
Tripper is an Anthropologist and I'm sure he took no offense. I would hope not, anyway. |
None whatsoever, Dennis. Finding out how little a degree in anthropology is actually worth now that I'm job searching. I'm thinking of taking up truck
driving, that seems to pay pretty well
There most certainly is but one side to every story: the TRUTH. Variations of it are nothing but lies.
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Bajatripper
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Thank you all for your positive comments, my daughter will enjoy reading them later today. I figured this would be another of my "three-comment"
posts, but wanted to do it anyway.
There most certainly is but one side to every story: the TRUTH. Variations of it are nothing but lies.
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