Osprey - 9-20-2015 at 11:09 AM
With apologies to Baja Blanca
SPANISH FOR DUMMIES
I’ve lived in a small Mexican fishing village for the last 20 years. I don’t speak Spanish but I speak the language. I speak Pueblo --- this is, I say
what I hear the villagers saying.
I have the book “501 Spanish Verbs”. Lately I’ve offered it to several gringo snowbirds who want to learn the language but so far, no takers. The
thing just sits there daring me from the bookcase. I have begun a hundred times to memorize the words but the book is for readers who want to earn a
Pulitzer in Spanish.
The first verb I tried to learn is an important thing to my wellbeing: EAT. I thought that would be a snap; it is only three letters and everybody
eats so I jumped right on it. Then I learned a lot of rules about permission, daydreaming and guessing. The conjugations were messy: I eat, I am
eating, you, ate, ate, we, will, would, may, might, have, had, shall have, would have, may have and I might have. Whew!
I was thinking “Maybe I have swerved into something here.” So that’s why my neighbors don’t speak proper Spanish; they are bad guessers and don’t
like to be told when to eat.
Verbs are action words and many of my Mexican friends and neighbors, like me, don’t move around much (especially in the summer). So I gave up on
learning the 14 ways to make sure no one mistakes my meaning. I was able to cut the list down to 3 or 4 conjugations. Then I thought “Can’t that plan
work for all verbs?”
The plan works for me. If I want to tell somebody I went to La Paz I just say La Paz, point NW and say “The other day”. Now there are some grumbling
gringos who might scold me for walking around my backhand but that’s often a plus since I use about 5 times more Spanish words than I need and in that
sense learn more of the language.
Another plus to this simple method is that I am forced to talk about things that stay put, don’t move around and I kid you not, there are thousands of
them to choose from. The adjectives don’t really warrant any serious study because most of them aren’t in the dictionary --- they are mostly all curse
words (and really good ones too).
Choyeros don’t care to speak proper Spanish to Mexicans from D. F. because they get lost in the verbiage. I’m often flattered when I’m asked to
interpret for visitors. The greetings, the message is usually cut short because of the cursing. The mainlanders can sometimes compete with the cursing
as we both learn some Mayan and Indian words meant for very adult people.
When I don’t get all of the local language, I know they must be talking about things that move which they do not wish to describe with adjectives. I
have yet to run out of nouns. I told you, you can’t count em.
woody with a view - 9-20-2015 at 11:31 AM
Excellent, exactly the way I learnt. A few random words and now I'm pretty good at getting a sideways look on occasion! After a couple of days tho,
I'm almost fluent in Pueblo!
[Edited on 9-20-2015 by woody with a view]
chippy - 9-20-2015 at 12:10 PM
Glorifying bad spanish in well written english is funny. Don`t leave the pueblo!
Osprey - 9-20-2015 at 12:58 PM
Glorifying? Glorifying? Now I'll have to go look that up.
AKgringo - 9-20-2015 at 01:24 PM
Most of the Spanish I know, I learned in the late 50s and 60s when my family would spend several months at Manzanillo on the mainland. Not much
English was spoken there then, and as a youngster, it was easy to soak up enough lingo to get by.
I was never very good grammatically, but the few words I knew came off close enough to the right inflection and cadence to fool people into thinking I
understood more than I actually did.
The pattern continues today, aggravated by hearing loss, and CRS (can't remember sh!t) so I have a lot of one way conversations and puzzled looks.
Some times the correct word pops into my mind, that I did not even think I knew, other times the word is completely wrong. For instance, I know I
told several people (in Spanish) that my old dog was my sweetheart, but the word I used was Tia (aunt). I think it was Coco that was kind enough to
correct me. Most people are too polite to correct my poor Spanish, but I wish they would!
BajaBlanca - 9-20-2015 at 03:04 PM
I love this ! And I can certainly relate after staying in Poland and throwing out words and hoping against hope that someone would understand. They
say that this is the secret to learning faster. Throw it out there and eventually the brain puts sense into it.
I gotta tell ya, compared to Polish, Spanish is pan comido.
(I just learned this new expression recently. Pan comido or bread that has been eaten = a piece of cake).
Very well written, Osprey. No dummies here!
pauldavidmena - 9-20-2015 at 07:31 PM
Once you've mastered conjugating the verb "ch!ngar", you've conquered a very wide swath of Mexican Spanish.
lamissmanners - 9-20-2015 at 07:49 PM
As a person who flunked Spanish 101 three times before I went on to Spanish 102 I feel your pain. The 500 Spanish Verbs is not the way to go to
learn. Ha the best way is to date someone with whom you don't share a common language! Duolingo.com is a good site to learn with and it works on the
slow internet in Baja.
EngineerMike - 9-22-2015 at 06:17 PM
I was asked by a motel clerk in GroNegro where I learned Spanish. I told him, "En la calle." He had obviously spent time in the States & said,
"Hey, what up Holmes!"
I said, "No esa calle."