Osprey
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3694
Registered: 5-23-2004
Location: Baja Ca. Sur
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Special Fishing Program (New)
Gar Un Teed Fishing System
Warning
For Professionals Only
This system is not for the casual angler. It is not some cheap new gadget or lure that claims to entice more fish to bite. The system is for
Professionals Only. The price of the system is $2,100 U.S. and consists of a set of 10 CDs, 7 fishing devices (lures), 3 pieces of fishing equipment,
10 nautical maps, 3 reference books and 120 Fish Oil Capsules. All of the components will include free shipping in the U.S. and Mexico, are
water-proof and glow in the dark.
Most of our clients are big time tournament players who buy almost every new product that comes out to enhance their chances of winning (catching
fish). Now is a very good time to buy because we are thinking about raising our prices to get more money from rich, spoiled Bisbee types around the
world.
The system unlocks the mysteries of salt water fishing like no other program in the world. You will learn the answers to so many questions it will
have your head spinning.
1. What is water temperature and why should I care about that?
2. What is salinity index and why shouldn’t I care about it?
3. Just what, if anything, does plankton and phytoplankton have to do with fishing?
4. Why must I learn the Mayan language to read the book about tides?
5. Why do I have to take fish oil capsules?
6. How can I avoid doing the six months of fishing muscle exercises?
7. Why should I learn culling by long-line release?
8. What is a soft gaff?
9. Where can I buy oxyacetylene for the program’s line splicer? Won’t the airlines have some restrictions on oxy and tanks I’ll need for that part of
the process?
10. Is it legal for me to sell marlin meat on Ebay? How efficient is your meat storage and shipping facility? Isn’t $11 a pound for storage and
shipping a little steep?
11. Why does your guarantee say I can “get some of my money back” if I’m not completely satisfied?
12. Where were the guide and deckhand profiles for tipping developed?
13. Do you have some special arrangement with Sam Adams beer company? Why must I drink just that one kind of beer when I fish?
14. Can you explain in more or better detail what the Slumps entail? The word appears several times in your guarantee agreement and I would like to
know why.
The whole program will be drop shipped to the address you provide within 90 days of payment. Since the amount of payment is too large for Paypal and
we don’t accept checks, you’ll have to deliver the cash to the below address (my house). Please include an additional $88 U.S. to avoid a lifetime of
spam from fishing gear sellers from all over. Believe me when I say it is money well spent unless you just get a big laugh after being sent 10,000
Walkin Worms COD.
The Osprey
La Ribera, BCS
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classicbajabronco
Nomad
Posts: 226
Registered: 1-2-2010
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great deal.....does this system work in tin boats as well. How much for replacement lures?
where can I buy Sam Adam's in Bcs....Does El Rey sell it?
are the fish oil capsules the suppository type?
[Edited on 5-29-2010 by classicbajabronco]
[Edited on 5-29-2010 by classicbajabronco]
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Osprey
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3694
Registered: 5-23-2004
Location: Baja Ca. Sur
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Classic: sorry, no tin boats. CD #3 is a special fighting chair catalogue. The fish oil releases pheramones (sp) in perspiration (civilized fishermen
do not sweat) which ends up on lures/bait/line/hooks and has a "Friendly" smell to the fish. The capsules are taken orally. Good reason to ask though
-- I once swallowed some suppositories by mistake and with all the good they did me I might as well have shoved..... well, you know the rest.
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classicbajabronco
Nomad
Posts: 226
Registered: 1-2-2010
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well, that it explains it....I must not be civilized...because with the heat the last few days...I have sweated buckets! However, my sweat already
has a fishy odor.
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classicbajabronco
Nomad
Posts: 226
Registered: 1-2-2010
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Osprey,
where can a guy get a license in La Ribera, Jimmy doesn't have them does he? You don't have his email do you?
Bronco
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Iflyfish
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3747
Registered: 10-17-2006
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Well, I purchased this really great system and have found that it really works. I have only a couple of problems. I want a fancy hat with my Gar Un
Teed Fishing System. I only buy clothes with the labels on the outside and don't want to be laughed off the deck. I really don't need the socks that
came with the kit cause none of the other guys wear socks with their deck shoes.
The other issue is the one you have already mentioned. The fish oil did not come with instructions on the label so I have been using them as a
suppository and now my clothes are soiled with unmentionables. Really disgusting.
By the way, the worms were cavorting in unmentionable ways when they arrived and I was too embarrassed to keep them so I sent them off to an
appropriate XX website that will remain anonymous.
I found that the lures ran shallow and that was perfect for the company I keep.
I would highly recommend this system to all the other Nomads out there who like me who no longer actually fish but still buy fishing gear.
Iflyfishwhenaskedthoughneveractuallywetalinecauseitsreallymessytoactuallycatchfish
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Osprey
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3694
Registered: 5-23-2004
Location: Baja Ca. Sur
Member Is Offline
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I thank you for not mentioning the core of CD #7 where I can hook you flyguys up with bird poachers from the Amazon (the jungle, not the book/music
company). There's a whole section there with pix of exotic fish caught only on flies made from the feathers of juvenile Birds of Paradise (which is
also the name of a bar in Todos Santos where I once caught parotitis, a canarial disease which is untweetable).
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Iflyfish
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3747
Registered: 10-17-2006
Member Is Offline
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I am afraid that the only social disease I have so far is a membership in Nomads.
As to the feathers. They arrived in excellent condition save for the minor pieces of flesh attached, but I consider that part of the deal. I used the
flesh to catch flies, hence my name, Iflyfish.
Sorry to hear about the canarial disease, at least you weren't caught the time you transported seals accross the border for immoral porpoises, and
don't void where prohibited by law.
You have though pun-ished us all.
Iflyfishwithexhoticwormsthatcameinaboxoffeathersfrom
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Pescador
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3587
Registered: 10-17-2002
Location: Baja California Sur
Member Is Offline
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Ok, I promise to sign up as soon as you: send me a free sample lesson like in Rosetta Stone Spanish Classes, and give me a heads up on whether or not
you use sliding egg sinkers.
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Cypress
Elite Nomad
Posts: 7641
Registered: 3-12-2006
Location: on the bayou
Member Is Offline
Mood: undecided
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about those sliding egg sinkers.........
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Osprey
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3694
Registered: 5-23-2004
Location: Baja Ca. Sur
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No weights of any kind are used by professional fishermen. If you can't get the fish to come to the surface you have not mastered the message in the
program. Sinker makers world wide are retooling to make surface lures just for this new program. Don't know how they will sell off what they now have
stocked but watch for more green bands on fingers, necks and wrists when buying silver jewelry from street/beach vendors.
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Santiago
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3512
Registered: 8-27-2003
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My friend really wants to know if this program will get the skunk off a used boat.
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Osprey
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3694
Registered: 5-23-2004
Location: Baja Ca. Sur
Member Is Offline
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Only if the boat qualifies as a yacht. Stamped right on the first big envelope new clients recieve in the mail is NO BUBBAS.
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Pescador
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3587
Registered: 10-17-2002
Location: Baja California Sur
Member Is Offline
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Oh, darn, does that mean before I qualify to buy, I have to get Momma new teeth. (forget new teeth, we are talking teeth period) But I am OK as far
as the yacht is concerned, we just put in a new fancy fighting chair that used to be the recliner that set in front of the TV for years. We were
going to put the refrigerator on board to keep the beer really cold but figured the extension cord was gonna be pretty long. Course if this Osprey
program works as well as it should then we might be upgrading to a new pontoon boat and then we can have the whole family along when we go.
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bajadave1
Nomad
Posts: 225
Registered: 7-20-2004
Location: Los Barriles, BCS
Member Is Offline
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Bronco....license
One of the farmacias on main street in Los Barriles can sell you a license.
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