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Sallysouth
Super Nomad
Posts: 1835
Registered: 10-9-2003
Location: Capo Beach
Member Is Offline
Mood: missing Baja...
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My Dad has left the U.S.A.
He has decided to live out the rest of his life SOB with Mija.What if he doesn't have an FMT or what if he passes away while there? I know, two
entirely different questions, but I need to know what to expect.He is healthy besides his mild Alzhiemers.I got him a check up just before he left.He
takes no meds besides his bladder pills and Exelon patches for memory.I am also wondering if we need to get him Medivac insurance. Any advice is very
appreciated! More Q's to come....Thanks, sally p.s. he is 87 and a Baja pioneer from the 50's.
Happiness is just a Baja memory away...
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bajaguy
Elite Nomad
Posts: 9247
Registered: 9-16-2003
Location: Carson City, NV/Ensenada - Baja Country Club
Member Is Offline
Mood: must be 5 O'clock somewhere in Baja
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An ID bracelet for starters
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DianaT
Select Nomad
Posts: 10020
Registered: 12-17-2004
Member Is Offline
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As difficult as it is, since he has made the decision to live out the rest of his life in Baja, I think there is no need for Medivac insurance---that
would only go against what he wants.
Tough, tough thing to do, but maybe try to start the letting go process---he is 87 and it sounds like this decision is his last wish.
We always want the best for our loved ones, but our idea of what is best, is not always what they think is best, or what is really important to them.
It is a difficult thing.
Hope you can visit him, and when the time comes, find proper care for him in the place he has chosen.
Never easy, never easy!
Just my thoughts. And my thoughts are with you during another difficult time for you.
Diana
[Edited on 1-31-2011 by DianaT]
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Sallysouth
Super Nomad
Posts: 1835
Registered: 10-9-2003
Location: Capo Beach
Member Is Offline
Mood: missing Baja...
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Diana, you have No idea how hard it has been.(well maybe you DO!) There was the talk of getting him back here if needed for med emergency.He really is
very healthy except for his short term memory.I can see him living another ten years.I have begun the "process".I took them to the airport on
Friday.He said as he hugged me"please don't forget me".Then he asked if I would come down and stay with him.I will in the spring.So hard after losing
my Mom two years ago so suddenly.Thank you for your kind words and thoughts.Sally
Happiness is just a Baja memory away...
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BajaGringo
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3922
Registered: 8-24-2006
Location: La Chorera
Member Is Offline
Mood: Let's have a BBQ!
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Make sure he establishes a relationship with a local doctor. If he were to pass away down here it will be much easier to deal with if he has a local
physician of record...
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toneart
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4901
Registered: 7-23-2006
Member Is Offline
Mood: Skeptical
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Sally,
Where is he going to live? What town? Did you say he will live with your daughter? Are you closely in touch with her?
I think, when he declines it is fairly easy to get in home assistance, and with compassion as well.
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shari
Select Nomad
Posts: 13052
Registered: 3-10-2006
Location: bahia asuncion, baja sur
Member Is Offline
Mood: there is no reality except the one contained within us "Herman Hesse"
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oh my Sally...I'm sure this is tough on you. I would also suggest that someone close to him, a neighbour, amigo whatever has all his contact
information in the event of an emergency...they need to know who to call.
Excellent suggestion about establishing an amistad with a doctor for sure...suerte and it is admirable to let dad do his thing.
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Sallysouth
Super Nomad
Posts: 1835
Registered: 10-9-2003
Location: Capo Beach
Member Is Offline
Mood: missing Baja...
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B.G., that is a very good idea and I have voiced this to my daughter. Bajaguy, that is also a very good idea.Tony, he will be living in an area I have
not been to yet, but the house is looking at the Hilton, north of Cabo, south of El Tule where she(Mija) just relocated from.Yes we are in contact
whenever we want via a phone # she has here, to there.Can you tell me what you know about your last sentence? And to Shari, not too sure what you are
saying about contact info.Mija has a live in "nanny/housekeeper/cook" so he is never really alone.And yeah, he should be allowed to do his own thing,
even if I /we have our reservations about his choices.I just want him to be happy. Abrazos, Sally
Happiness is just a Baja memory away...
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toneart
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4901
Registered: 7-23-2006
Member Is Offline
Mood: Skeptical
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Sallysouth
B.G., that is a very good idea and I have voiced this to my daughter. Bajaguy, that is also a very good idea.Tony, he will be living in an area I have
not been to yet, but the house is looking at the Hilton, north of Cabo, south of El Tule where she(Mija) just relocated from.Yes we are in contact
whenever we want via a phone # she has here, to there.Can you tell me what you know about your last sentence? And to Shari, not too sure what you are
saying about contact info.Mija has a live in "nanny/housekeeper/cook" so he is never really alone.And yeah, he should be allowed to do his own thing,
even if I /we have our reservations about his choices.I just want him to be happy. Abrazos, Sally |
Mine was a general statement about the availability of people who caretake elderly people. I observed that in Mulege with a guy who had cancer and had
decided to die there. He lived alone and didn't have much money. A kind local stepped forward and sat with him, prepared food, assisted him to the
bathroom and ran errands, through to the end.
Someone always knows someone, in their family or friends who would be available for that kind of work. Those kind of references are usually reliable.
Compassion is a virtue that Mexicans have within their culture.
It sounds like, between your daughter and her housekeeper, and in that location with view, he should be very happy. It seems like your father made a
good choice for himself. Is your daughter happy about it?
I think you will make the adjustment, emotionally, once he is settled. Especially, knowing he is with your daughter and in such a wonderful place...in
Cabo! When you make your first visit, you will feel even better about his decision. I hope so. Best of luck with all of that. 
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Bajafun777
Super Nomad
Posts: 1103
Registered: 9-13-2006
Location: Rosarito & California
Member Is Offline
Mood: Enjoying Life with Wife In Mexico, Easy on The Easy
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SallySouth, your topic and suggestions here are just a reminder to all of us to make sure our wishes are well known before we get to 87 and memory
problems start occurring.
We need to talk about what we would like to do and how we want to be handled when the Lord takes us home. Family members should also accept and follow
our wishes as best as they can.
I say this as my boys do not exactually like the thought of my wife and I living down South, so we started with staying 4 months last year during the
summer and will do the same thing this summer at Las Gaviotas.
Sometime, somewhere we will be staying longer like 6 months and maybe after two years more jump it to 8 months before jumping fulltime.
Sort of like my funeral wishes of being cremated and ashes spread into the ocean. My wife didn't like it too much nor did my boys until I said,"Look I
love the ocean and don't want people crying over me, as I have had a good run enjoying life along with them. I told them take me on an ocean cruise
ship and do the deed late at night when all the stars are shinning. Told them to toast me before dumping me in the ocean and all hug each other
afterwards and saying dad got his wishes followed now he is at peace. I tease them with saying remember roast me,toast me and dump me!LOL Keeping it
humorous is my way of putting it more into what I am.
I am restressing these things more now since reading your topic, as we just never know when the Lord will call us home. Very good suggestions by those
posting but I just wanted to put a little more twist to it. WE all need to keep people aware of our wishes in good health, so they don't doubt us in
bad health for decisions or lifestyles we may want to do. Hope your DAD the best and may you have peace in his desire to make himself satisfied with
what life he has left and hope every day is better than the day before for him. Take Care & Travel Safe "No Hurry, No Worry, Just FUN"
bajafun777
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Cypress
Elite Nomad
Posts: 7641
Registered: 3-12-2006
Location: on the bayou
Member Is Offline
Mood: undecided
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Your dad must be a real character. He'll be fine.
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Pescador
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3587
Registered: 10-17-2002
Location: Baja California Sur
Member Is Offline
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When my wife developed Lung Cancer we moved out of our Mexico house and went back to Colorado and spent our time for the next year and a half totally
tied up with the medical system and cancer treatment. That was what she wanted to do and it gave her some comfort knowing that she was doing
everything possible in the system that she believed in to treat the disease.
I had a good friend who lived in Mexico develop a Cancer and when it developed into a later stage, he decided that he was not going to go through
all of the Chemo and Radiation therapy and was going to live out his days surrounded by his family and friends in Mexico. He received very good
medical care for pain management and got to do the things he really liked to do like playing weekly poker games and talking with all his friends
during the day. We all knew he was dying but we had some great times sharing and helping him make arrangements for the final eventuality.
After experiencing both of these situations, I came to the conclusion that it depends totally on the person and what they find important and that
for me, I would live out my final years in Mexico. I find the medical system, while not at the same level of development as the United States, much
more humane and personal. I have checked in to assisted living here and it is usually run by the church to be very affordable and a great place to be
if you need that sort of thing. The culture is much more respectfu land caring of the elderly than I find in the United States.
So, if I had a disease or condition that had a known cure that was only available in the US, then I would go back and have that done, but I would
probably go to Europe in the same situation. For example, there is a new treatment for Macular Degeneration that would need to be done in the US.
The other thing you may want to consider is to get him an FM2 or FM3 so that he can get Seguros Popular insurance which will cover him in Mexico
for medical care and will be based on his income. It is very affordable and does provide great coverage in Mexico. I have Medicare, a high
deducdtible supplement plan for the US, but have Seguros Popular for Mexico.
[Edited on 1-31-2011 by Pescador]
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shari
Select Nomad
Posts: 13052
Registered: 3-10-2006
Location: bahia asuncion, baja sur
Member Is Offline
Mood: there is no reality except the one contained within us "Herman Hesse"
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sally, what I meant was that in the event of an emergency, whoever is close to him like the housekeeper should have all the important information at
hand and know who to call first and it is important to have a plan...in the event of....whatever, sickness, a fall, death etc.
I am always trying to get contact info on expats here in case something happens as I may likely be the person who would have to deal with
"authorities".
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Eli
Super Nomad
Posts: 1471
Registered: 8-26-2003
Location: L.B. Baja Sur
Member Is Offline
Mood: Some times Observing, sometimes Oblivious.
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Sally, Good for Your Dad, and good for You and Juanita making this happen for him.
I remember when my grandfather was in his last few years, we moved him from So. Cal. to Oregon, back to So Cal, back up to Oregon, a few times. He
would get to one place and want to be in the other, it was not easy for him or us, but we did what we could to make his life bearable.
When Dad was finishing up his time on this planet, we made a couple of trips North of the boarder for treatment and meds, but in the end, he passed on
where he most wanted to be, Buena Vista, at home in his own bed surrounded by family and friends who Loved him. I hope I am equally fortunate.
I wish him the best of Luck and hope he has the peace of mind that will permit him to stay here for the remainder of his years. Also, I bet this means
you will be coming down more often and I might finally get to see you which would be very cool.
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mcfez
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8678
Registered: 12-2-2009
Location: aka BN yankeeirishman
Member Is Offline
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Alzhiemers
My dad fell to this. Nasty. I was the one that had to deal with it.
My strong advise:
Let your dad be happy at any cost. His time is very limited. Deal with the worst of this situation when "that time comes"....not now.
I put dad in a home. What a freakin mistake .......and I am haunted each day.
Old people are like the old cars, made of some tough stuff. May show a little rust, but good as gold on the inside.
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BajaGringo
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3922
Registered: 8-24-2006
Location: La Chorera
Member Is Offline
Mood: Let's have a BBQ!
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I agree with the sentiment to let him follow his wishes. Life is a series of passages and the last chapter of our life here on earth a very special
one. Tomorrow is promised to no one so just let him be happy doing what he wants to do today.
There is no greater gift you could give him right now...
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oladulce
Super Nomad
Posts: 1625
Registered: 5-30-2005
Location: bcs
Member Is Offline
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Sally-
What if you signed him up for a year of Medivac insurance (the policy we have would cost $250 for your Dad, for example). You've got so many other
things on your mind right now at least you can cover that base and move on. Maybe he'll need it and it will be worth every penny, or maybe he'll never
use it. You'll have a year while he's getting settled in to find out and maybe it will help you sleep a little better.
Of course you want your dad to be happy, but it sounds like he may have said "I want to move to Mexico" and all the preparation and planning was
dumped in your lap. Others have shared poignant examples of end-of-life decisions to live in Mexico, but it sounds like your Dad wanted to move to
live some more!
I think it's wonderful that he's able to do so, but unfortunately the consequences of future illness or injury will probably fall upon you to deal
with. You can only do your best Amiga, and you're doing a good thing.
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Sallysouth
Super Nomad
Posts: 1835
Registered: 10-9-2003
Location: Capo Beach
Member Is Offline
Mood: missing Baja...
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I think Mija is going to get him Medivac.And Mcfez, no way will he be going to a "home"!!We will do whatever it takes to avoid that.They alfeady have
the contacts in place in case Juanita is not there.I also like the idea of finding him a personal doctor.It would make him feel more secure, I
think.Also thanks for the advice, Pescardor on the FM's and Seguros Popular.I will discuss this with Juanita.To Tony, Yes, Mija is happy about it.She
loves her Grampa very much and is a kind soul.He has been staying with her on and off for the last two years so they both know what to expect.He is
very happy there.No memories to haunt him and no stress.When he is in his home here, all he does is worry about things he has no control over.I'm glad
he is where he wants to be.Sara, YES! This does mean I will be down more and we can catch up after all these years!!!Thanks for the well thought out
responses and kind words.Sally
Happiness is just a Baja memory away...
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wessongroup
Platinum Nomad
Posts: 21152
Registered: 8-9-2009
Location: Mission Viejo
Member Is Offline
Mood: Suicide Hot line ... please hold
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Sally... best wishes and peace... to all...
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slimshady
Nomad
Posts: 291
Registered: 9-3-2008
Member Is Offline
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Not a bad place to spend one's last days on this earth. Let him enjoy himself.
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