Udo
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A GRINGO'S GUIDE TO BEING ON TIME IN MEXICO
NOTE: I PERSONALLY DID NOT WRITE THIS. IT IS A COPY & PASTE FROM THE PUNTA BANDA BULLETIN BOARD, AND IT WAS WRITTEN BY A PERSON WHOSE
HANDLE IS electriclarry, who in turn copied it from Facebook
This really is something the we gringos need to realize:
The following was posted by a friend on Facebook - being 'on-time' has always been an issue with me, maybe you as well, so perhaps this will explain
the behavior of our local natives...
A Gringo’s Guide to Being on Time in Mexico
Arriving at social gatherings in Mexico is a true art form. For Mexicans, it comes naturally. They know exactly when to show up for parties, coffee
dates, dinners, etc without offending anyone or being offended by others.
For expats, we need a few years of careful cultural study before we finally stop checking our watches in annoyance every time we plan a meetup at
Sanborns. When an American says a party starts at 7pm, you can be sure that all guests will be there at 7pm (and leaving at 9pm haha). In Mexico ,
parties start whenever and end some time before everyone has to go to work the next morning.
Hopefully I can help you jump ahead in your quest to being on time in Mexico by laying out what I’ve learned as an American in Mexico over the past 9
years.
1. One-on-one
So you’re in Mexico , and you’ve agreed to meet someone for coffee, or maybe a late dinner. If you made these plans more than one day in advance, I’m
sorry to tell you that your plans do not exist. It’s useful to check ahead to make sure the other person doesn’t already have plans for that time, but
your plans aren’t official until you call or text them the day of the meeting to confirm. Here’s how to do it:
Step 1: Tell the person you would like to meet up with them the following day. Mention the general time (morning, lunch, dinner, night, etc), but
don’t bother with an actual time just yet.
Step 2: The morning of said meeting, text or call the person with something along the lines of, “Good morning! Can you still meet me today? Does 8pm
at Sanborns sound good?”
Step 3: Now we’re getting into expert level. This is my secret to saving yourself a lot of headache… Text the person 30 minutes before the scheduled
time with something like, “Getting ready now! See you in half an hour. Can’t wait!” This will help ensure they don’t forget or back out. It also gives
them an opening to let you know if they will be late.
Step 4: Arrive 10 minutes later than whatever time they plan to arrive. It’s ok because they will be 15 minutes late.
Step 5: If for some reason you arrive after the other person, even if it’s 30 seconds after, you have to give a lame excuse. You can just quickly say,
“Sorry, traffic was bad” or whatever you want, but you have to give some reason. Otherwise it would be awkward. I don’t know why. It’s just what you
do.
2. Small groups of friends
The lead-up to plans with groups of 3 – 10 friends is the same as with a one-on-one. (Confirm the day of, etc.) However, things get a little tricky
because the time is likely to be pushed back further and further the closer you get. With modern technology, I recommend a text chat group with this
group of friends so you can get a play-by-play. Be ready to leave your house at the set time. If you planned to meet somewhere at 8pm, that’s the time
you should be putting your shoes on to leave. BUT… don’t actually leave your house until you get a text from someone saying, “Ok I’m here. Where are
you guys?” This way, you won’t be the first to arrive, but you won’t be the last, either.
3. House parties
If you show up within 30 minutes of a Mexican party’s scheduled start time, congratulations: you have just earned a spot on the planning committee. If
you’re a family member of the host, you’ll be asked to run to Walmart to pick up soda, paper plates and tortilla chips. If you’re not a family member,
you will have to help set up chairs and tables, then sit around in awkward silence waiting for everyone else to arrive. I try to arrive 1 hour after
the scheduled time. That way you’re not the first person to arrive, but you’ve still made it in time to score the best taco ingredients and see the
piñata. If you have close friends or family attending the same party, you can always call or text them to see when they plan on being there.
Bonus tips!!
While Mexicans are rarely on time for social events, they always try to be on time for business meetings, interviews, class, doctor’s appointments,
exams and movies.
Never, ever make plans with a Mexican on a Sunday. Sunday in Mexico is strictly family day, and unless they’re inviting you to their cousin’s birthday
party or their nephew’s baptism party, there’s no way they’re going to make time for you.
The Mamá Factor: Even if you follow all the proper steps, keep in mind that a Mexican may still cancel on you at any time if their mom calls and asks
them for something. (I’ve had friends cancel on me at the last minute to go to the grocery store with their mom… more than once.)
[Edited on 9-24-2014 by Udo]
Udo
Youth is wasted on the young!
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bajabuddha
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Wonderful, Udo. I'd quibble a few minor points, but picky-picky-picky! So I'll suffice to give it a 9 of 10.
One of the first language lessons is, MAÑANA. It does not mean tomorrow, it just means, "not today". I always ask mis compadres when they say
''mañana"...
"es mañana Mexicana? O mañana Español?" Always good for a grin in familiar circles. 
I don't have a BUCKET LIST, but I do have a F***- IT LIST a mile long!
86 - 45*
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Udo
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You are right, bajabuddah.
Udo
Youth is wasted on the young!
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dasubergeek
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Hahahahaha... I'm the king of "Bueno, a las siete entonces... pues, a las siete hora mexicana, o a las siete hora inglesa?"
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Udo
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The best information I obtained from the piece is the part about calling the appointed party several times.
Until I read the guide, I was always wondering why my dinner guests in Bahia Asunción were 1-2 hours late, (except for Shari) who was right on time.
Udo
Youth is wasted on the young!
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shari
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Mood: there is no reality except the one contained within us "Herman Hesse"
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that is indeed a very astute description of how to deal with appointments and invitations. My first years here I was always that person that arrived
waaaaay too early.
Dances dont really get going till at least 11:00 too.
When folks are concerned about being late to something I always tell them....dont worry...if you are a half hour late...you are a half hour early!!!
[Edited on 9-25-2014 by shari]
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Maron
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neat and true
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bajabuddha
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............mañaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-na........ (con Pacifico y Nada Mas)
My first winter (as in a full 6 months) in Baja was winter of '95-->.... resulted in settling in 4-corners region the next spring. No offense
meant, but was a smooth transition to Navajo Standard Time after 6 months of Mexican Standard Time. After 8 years there, have been in southern NM
(town of less than 5k) and it ain't NEW, and it ain't Mexico, but it's still on Mexican Standard Time. That's why I love it all so............
despacio, con quidadao... tranquillo... por que ch*nga no...
Jack Nicholson summed it up in 'Goin' South' with ... "a little Spanish Pause...."
I don't have a BUCKET LIST, but I do have a F***- IT LIST a mile long!
86 - 45*
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dasubergeek
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Except for festivals. If you go late to festivals there will be no food, because everyone eats first.
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4Cata
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Excellent tips, wish I'd known them before I went to SF Shrimp Festival too soon. Nothing open except tequila vendors, no food and I hadn't eaten so
I'd have room for all the versions of shrimp that I'd heard about. Big mistake. Drinking Margarita House's home tequila was another BIG mistake.
Never got to enjoy any food and rest of day was lost. You'd think a retired bartender like me would have known better.
Agaveros, silk in a bottle, a beautiful bottle!
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DENNIS
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That's ECLECTICLARRY.......Larry Dean. Still here, and one of the good guys.
.
[Edited on 5-10-2015 by DENNIS]
"YOU CAN'T LITTER ALUMINUM"
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Hook
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I know that many ex-pats and Mexicanos embrace being late as some overt sign that you are different than the rest of North America; with their wealth,
their work ethic and promptness. That you're sooo ex-pat that you practically have Hispanic blood in your veins, now.
Let's face it; descendents of northern Europeans like the English, the Germans and the Scandanavians are just ON TIME. The descendents of southern
Europe just AREN'T. These are outrageous generalities, of course........
At a large gathering like a festival or large party, it doesnt make much difference when people arrive or leave, I get that.
But when it's a small gathering, especially a one-on-one, it's just incredibly inconsiderate to waste someone's time by arriving "when you please".
My wife and I are still as punctual as when we were working. We've become somewhat infamous about it in town......."why are you people so ON TIME,
when you've been living down here for seven years?" I expect not to be kept waiting, unnecessarily, so I give others the same consideration. Anything
else is rude to us.
Yes, we're from northern European stock. 
I once asked a Mexicano to come fishing with me at about 6am. Apparently, he arrived about 45 minutes late. I learned this from someone else at the
dock, who saw him arrive. I left about 25 minutes before that. At times, fish are on their own schedule, in terms of feeding. I plan on being there
when that happens.
So many of my local friends just have no concept of prior planning. They just let life's currents sweep them along and just cant foresee the obvious
things in life that are going to make them.........LATE. These aren't people with young children; I get that, too.
And they really don't regard TIME as a valuable commodity. There's ALWAYS more time to do ANYTHING, even if it strays into the dreaded (to a gringo)
MANANA territory.
I have a gringo gal friend who has all but married into an affluent Mexican family. She decided to do the whole traditional turkey-on-Xmas-day thing
and invited his brothers and sisters, of which he has many. Lots of prep and timing goes into that kind of meal, of course.
I think the first ones arrived about an hour and a half late; the whole time making lame excuses by phone as to why they were delayed. The others
arrived over the next hour after that, including her potential mother in law. They arrived to cold mashed potatoes and gravy and turkey, of course,
that needed to be microwaved on individual plates. So much for the elegant sit-down meal she was planning. She was crushed. And probably a bit naive.
But now that she's been in the family for a few years, she's learned............she's habitually late to anything I invite her to. I just shake my head and laugh. You learned the wrong lesson, girlie!! Well, to me,
she did.
Now that we're discussing this, someone should start a thread about how the locals WILL NEVER CALL YOU WITH BAD NEWS, even when it isnt even their
fault, and even when it will save you a boatload of inconvenience.
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Udo
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You hit the nail right on the head, Hook, with your observations.
I was brought up to arrive to an event somewhat early.
And when I invite people for dinner in the US, I demand promptness, because I am one who demands perfection of my food and timing/temperature are
critical if they want deliciously prepared food.
In restaurants we used to prepare food about ½ done and finish it in the oven or salamander.
Udo
Youth is wasted on the young!
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