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4x4abc
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4289
Registered: 4-24-2009
Location: La Paz, BCS
Member Is Offline
Mood: happy - always
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Quote: Originally posted by David K  | | Barry, I hope that Ken and I will reconnect once this crazy time is past. Thanks for your concern and friendship. Ken and I have been friends for 20
years, camped together several times, and there is never a situation where skin color or political differences changed my feelings for him.
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this is a classic, David!
Knowingly or not - you hurt Ken.
It is the hardest thing among friends to say "You hurt me!"
Ken did. So it must have been pretty serious.
And your response? YOUR feelings towards him.
This is in line with my police friends.
Their response to the complaints and concerns from BLM?
They wanna talk about their hurt feelings.
If we don't learn to take the hurt of others seriously, we are in trouble.
Harald Pietschmann
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Ken Cooke
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8946
Registered: 2-9-2004
Location: Riverside, CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: Pole Line Road postponed due to injury
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| Quote: Originally posted by David K | What?
I don't use color as a judgement and you know that. You have always related to me that you were harassed at the border and by police because you were
black. That was you telling me.
Now, I don't recall any San Quintin talk when we last met, but if you said you got stopped and didn't know why, it would have been natural for me to
remind you, what YOU said... that you get harassed for being black.
We took a lot of happy photos before our goodbyes. Doug can verify that there was no uncool talking either.
Finally, if I did upset you, why not reach out to me rather than bring this up here on the forum. We have been friends for 20 years. Color or politics
are not a reason I use for friendship determination.
Finally, if I did hurt your feelings unintentionally, then I apologized sincerely. I value friendships and would come to your defence any day.
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You're mistaken, David. On February 1st when I was speaking with you, Doug Means, John Marnell and my wife you made the odd comment, "Because you are
BLACK?" When I was bringing up a Police stop in San Quintín that had nothing to do with 'Driving while Black'.
Then, there was the odd comment about you asking if I was a drug dealer? Where do you make this stuff up? Are you okay?
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paranewbi
Senior Nomad
Posts: 913
Registered: 4-15-2011
Location: San diego
Member Is Offline
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| Quote: Originally posted by Ken Cooke | | Quote: Originally posted by David K | What?
I don't use color as a judgement and you know that. You have always related to me that you were harassed at the border and by police because you were
black. That was you telling me.
Now, I don't recall any San Quintin talk when we last met, but if you said you got stopped and didn't know why, it would have been natural for me to
remind you, what YOU said... that you get harassed for being black.
We took a lot of happy photos before our goodbyes. Doug can verify that there was no uncool talking either.
Finally, if I did upset you, why not reach out to me rather than bring this up here on the forum. We have been friends for 20 years. Color or politics
are not a reason I use for friendship determination.
Finally, if I did hurt your feelings unintentionally, then I apologized sincerely. I value friendships and would come to your defence any day.
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You're mistaken, David. On February 1st when I was speaking with you, Doug Means, John Marnell and my wife you made the odd comment, "Because you are
BLACK?" When I was bringing up a Police stop in San Quintín that had nothing to do with 'Driving while Black'.
Then, there was the odd comment about you asking if I was a drug dealer? Where do you make this stuff up? Are you okay? |
Still no answer to David's question as to why this wasn't handled through personal channels?
Did you remove that consideration when you decided to remove David from your relationships without him even knowing that was done?
And then are you the type of person that strikes out in public shaming to deliver a blow of hurt to another as you perceived you received from the
same?
Not a friend worth having I would say.
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Barry A.
Select Nomad
Posts: 10007
Registered: 11-30-2003
Location: Redding, Northern CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: optimistic
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| Quote: Originally posted by 4x4abc | | Quote: Originally posted by David K | | Barry, I hope that Ken and I will reconnect once this crazy time is past. Thanks for your concern and friendship. Ken and I have been friends for 20
years, camped together several times, and there is never a situation where skin color or political differences changed my feelings for him.
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this is a classic, David!
Knowingly or not - you hurt Ken.
It is the hardest thing among friends to say "You hurt me!"
Ken did. So it must have been pretty serious.
And your response? YOUR feelings towards him.
This is in line with my police friends.
Their response to the complaints and concerns from BLM?
They wanna talk about their hurt feelings.
If we don't learn to take the hurt of others seriously, we are in trouble. |
Feeling "hurt" by the comments of those we KNOW are friends and not intending to "hurt you" is an emotion and a choice you make. Most of the
problems in this world are caused by those who emotionally "feel hurt" and lash out like a young child. THAT is what my close-friends, Family, and
schools have always taught me, anyway, and has always made sense to me.
.
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SFandH
Elite Nomad
Posts: 7084
Registered: 8-5-2011
Member Is Offline
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| Quote: Originally posted by Barry A. |
Feeling "hurt" by the comments of those we KNOW are friends and not intending to "hurt you" is an emotion and a choice you make. Most of the
problems in this world are caused by those who emotionally "feel hurt" and lash out like a young child. THAT is what my close-friends, Family, and
schools have always taught me, anyway, and has always made sense to me.
. |
Just curious. How do I interpret your use of quotes around the word hurt?
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Barry A.
Select Nomad
Posts: 10007
Registered: 11-30-2003
Location: Redding, Northern CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: optimistic
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| Quote: Originally posted by SFandH | | Quote: Originally posted by Barry A. |
Feeling "hurt" by the comments of those we KNOW are friends and not intending to "hurt you" is an emotion and a choice you make. Most of the
problems in this world are caused by those who emotionally "feel hurt" and lash out like a young child. THAT is what my close-friends, Family, and
schools have always taught me, anyway, and has always made sense to me.
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Just curious. How do I interpret your use of quotes around the word hurt? |
"Hurt" is the word most prominently used in this thread. That is why I put it in quotes. But I believe that the emotional feeling of being hurt is a
much bigger subject than intended in this thread, and Harold (and other's) opened up the door to that, IMO.
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Ken Cooke
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8946
Registered: 2-9-2004
Location: Riverside, CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: Pole Line Road postponed due to injury
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| Quote: Originally posted by David K | Ken, you sit on this hurt for over four months then blast me on Nomad during this crazy riot period? Why didn't you confront me then or soon after?
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David - I told people. Just not you. So, please leave me out of your stereotype narrative.
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Ken Cooke
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8946
Registered: 2-9-2004
Location: Riverside, CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: Pole Line Road postponed due to injury
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This weekend in Riverside
Back to the thread.
I found this posting on Facebook by photographer Kurt Miller of Riverside's Mt. Rubidoux. I was told that this cross has a plaque dedicating this
landmark to Junipero Serra. I learned that this cross was repainted and no longer displays these messages. But, here they are.
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motoged
Elite Nomad
Posts: 6481
Registered: 7-31-2006
Location: Kamloops, BC
Member Is Offline
Mood: Gettin' Better
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David,
A simple and unconditional apology initially would have been appropriate.....
Don't believe everything you think....
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Ken Cooke
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8946
Registered: 2-9-2004
Location: Riverside, CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: Pole Line Road postponed due to injury
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Admit to your lies and please STOP!
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Ken Cooke
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8946
Registered: 2-9-2004
Location: Riverside, CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: Pole Line Road postponed due to injury
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..and no more calling me a drug dealer. That left me floored. I don't know where you and your family decided to make this stuff up. I never lie
about the people that I know, much less those that I care about. Get over yourself and stop with the racial stereotypes. Conservative politics are
never kind to me and I want to be left alone.
---------------------------------
This thread is about a social justice movement that is gaining momentum against Junipero Serra. I am a mere bystander who is pointing out that what
information has been previously shared about him has missed the mark. Being part Cherokee, I find this alternate angle very interesting.
I don't know how much further these protests will go, but this is a groundswell moment that isn't going away. Millennials and younger have seized
this moment and refuse to move forward in a world where their lives and perspectives are marginalized. Racial stereotypes are definitely under
attack, and that discourse needs to end, obviously. Let's hope that positive, lasting change will come of this current upheaval.
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David K
Honored Nomad
Posts: 64845
Registered: 8-30-2002
Location: San Diego County
Member Is Offline
Mood: Have Baja Fever
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I never called you any such thing. Maybe the cops thought you were a drug dealer, I know you are not.
I respect that you are a special-ed teacher and that you like to take people to Baja... in addition to the times we camped together on Shell Island
twice and then Pole Line Road and Guadalupe Canyon, too.
We all took photos of each other and your Jeep... Leidys hugged me as we said goodbyes... There was no hate, no anger, no shock... and absolutely
nothing other than friendship for you. I can post the photos again. Doug Means and I had no discussion of anything like that being said during our
drive back south, either.
I apologized, more than once... it is posted above... do you not accept that and want to toss 20 years of friendship away? As I said, what more do you
want from me?
This was the last photo taken before we all departed... no anger, no hurt, no disgust, and not a word from a friend telling me I hurt his feelings or
was rude/ racist/ a creep for saying such things... not a word for almost five months.
[Edited on 6-29-2020 by David K]
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pacificobob
Super Nomad
Posts: 2306
Registered: 4-23-2006
Member Is Offline
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| Quote: Originally posted by David K | I never called you any such thing. Maybe the cops thought you were a drug dealer, I know you are not.
I respect that you are a special-ed teacher and that you like to take people to Baja... in addition to the times we camped together on Shell Island
twice and then Pole Line Road and Guadalupe Canyon, too.
We all took photos of each other and your Jeep... Leidys hugged me as we said goodbyes... There was no hate, no anger, no shock... and absolutely
nothing other than friendship for you. I can post the photos again. Doug Means and I had no discussion of anything like that being said during our
drive back south, either.
I apologized, more than once... it is posted above... do you not accept that and want to toss 20 years of friendship away? As I said, what more do you
want from me?
This was the last photo taken before we all departed... no anger, no hurt, no disgust, and not a word from a friend telling me I hurt his feelings or
was rude/ racist/ a creep for saying such things... not a word for almost five months.
[Edited on 6-29-2020 by David K] |
photographic evidence of love for all! well...maybe not progressives
[Edited on 6-29-2020 by pacificobob]
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Barry A.
Select Nomad
Posts: 10007
Registered: 11-30-2003
Location: Redding, Northern CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: optimistic
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| Quote: Originally posted by pacificobob | | Quote: Originally posted by David K | I never called you any such thing. Maybe the cops thought you were a drug dealer, I know you are not.
I respect that you are a special-ed teacher and that you like to take people to Baja... in addition to the times we camped together on Shell Island
twice and then Pole Line Road and Guadalupe Canyon, too.
We all took photos of each other and your Jeep... Leidys hugged me as we said goodbyes... There was no hate, no anger, no shock... and absolutely
nothing other than friendship for you. I can post the photos again. Doug Means and I had no discussion of anything like that being said during our
drive back south, either.
I apologized, more than once... it is posted above... do you not accept that and want to toss 20 years of friendship away? As I said, what more do you
want from me?
This was the last photo taken before we all departed... no anger, no hurt, no disgust, and not a word from a friend telling me I hurt his feelings or
was rude/ racist/ a creep for saying such things... not a word for almost five months.
[Edited on 6-29-2020 by David K] |
photographic evidence of love for all! well...maybe not progressives
[Edited on 6-29-2020 by pacificobob] |
Most Progressives mean well, I will give you that, but they are so clueless of how things work in the world of human beings. As a Career Cop I
learned that along the way.
[Edited on 6-29-2020 by Barry A.]
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Ken Cooke
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8946
Registered: 2-9-2004
Location: Riverside, CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: Pole Line Road postponed due to injury
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Thank you for apologizing, David. Now, I don't feel as angry as I have felt after trying to figure out your words and motives. Take care of yourself
and your family.
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4x4abc
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4289
Registered: 4-24-2009
Location: La Paz, BCS
Member Is Offline
Mood: happy - always
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| Quote: Originally posted by Barry A. |
Feeling "hurt" by the comments of those we KNOW are friends and not intending to "hurt you" is an emotion and a choice you make. Most of the
problems in this world are caused by those who emotionally "feel hurt" and lash out like a young child. THAT is what my close-friends, Family, and
schools have always taught me, anyway, and has always made sense to me.
. |
anyone who has ever expressed difficult emotions will probably appreciate your lecture on how to display/express those emotions best.
Harald Pietschmann
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4x4abc
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4289
Registered: 4-24-2009
Location: La Paz, BCS
Member Is Offline
Mood: happy - always
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| Quote: Originally posted by Barry A. |
Most Progressives mean well, I will give you that, but they are so clueless of how things work in the world of human beings. As a Career Cop I
learned that along the way.
[Edited on 6-29-2020 by Barry A.] |
what a great week on this forum. Another classic!
Cops as the masters in the knowledge of how things work in the world of human beings.
Skip therapy, priests or advice from good friends - ask a cop.
Too bad that so many "patients" have died in the process of enlightenment.
Harald Pietschmann
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Barry A.
Select Nomad
Posts: 10007
Registered: 11-30-2003
Location: Redding, Northern CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: optimistic
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| Quote: Originally posted by 4x4abc | | Quote: Originally posted by Barry A. |
Feeling "hurt" by the comments of those we KNOW are friends and not intending to "hurt you" is an emotion and a choice you make. Most of the
problems in this world are caused by those who emotionally "feel hurt" and lash out like a young child. THAT is what my close-friends, Family, and
schools have always taught me, anyway, and has always made sense to me.
. |
anyone who has ever expressed difficult emotions will probably appreciate your lecture on how to display/express those emotions best.
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Harald, as you can tell, I do not like negative emotions as they are often so shallow and unfulfilling for those that express them, let alone those on
the receiving end. Any satisfaction in expressing them is usually short lived, in my experience. I went to a marriage counsellor once, with my
first wife of 24 years, which was a disaster for both of us after we both said emotionally what we really felt. Live and learn. We divorced, and
have been good friends ever since for some 38 years now. I remarried, she did not (whatever THAT means) LOL
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MrBillM
Platinum Nomad
Posts: 21656
Registered: 8-20-2003
Location: Out and About
Member Is Offline
Mood: It's a Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Day
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There is a simple word for .................
.......... Those sensitive folks who find themselves emotionally-stressed/depressed by the negative comments of others:
Wimps.
OK, there's actually a couple more [idiomatic] terms referencing female anatomy, but ............
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Ken Cooke
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8946
Registered: 2-9-2004
Location: Riverside, CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: Pole Line Road postponed due to injury
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Serra article from the San Jose Mercury
Link: https://www.mercurynews.com/2020/06/23/destruction-of-junipe...
Takeaways from this article:
1. School children are taught the good and bad about mission life, no longer required to build a mission as part of school frameworks.
2. The Pope's 'Doctrine of Discovery' is the root of institutional racism as it provided grounds for the enslavement of Indigenous people.
3. Junípero Serra requested the Spanish forces to treat the Indigenous community with respect.
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