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Osprey
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[*] posted on 6-10-2010 at 04:30 PM
Exercise Program


Pontius Pilates



Maybe it was because of my Pa who, at age 12, ran away from home in Rhode Island to work the streets as a gambler. As far as I know this early occupational choice or natural aptitude put him on a track perpendicular to those who had to or wanted to work with their back and brawn to make a living.

I sorta followed in his footsteps and although business was my business, by dint of trick or device I was also able to avoid any kind of physical labor. He lived to be 94 and still had his own ticker (no bypasses or valves thank you) and other organs so I have not much feared the atrophy which might come from my lifestyle choices.

Now, at 73, I am surrounded by mature gringas who I see rushing about to finish their morning chores so they can get to Pilates class. They are very vocal about the benefits of the classes but they say some of those benefits come with the pain of strain; the pulling, turning, stretching of muscles I have never used.

I have not tried to draw these mature and supple gals out about “the program”. I have seen the name of the discipline, Pilates, on T.V. I find it ironic that the inventor of the system did not bother to change his name --- like Henry Hitler Shoes or something close. Could it be that the ladies have missed the point? Could the name and deeds of Pontius Pilate be totally unknown to them?

If I do need some tuning up I don’t feel comfortable asking these gals how I should go about it because I fear they would try to enlist me for their regimen. If I must, I’d much rather get some advice from men, the Nomad kind of men. I don’t think they would steer me wrong or give me advice that might send me to the clinic or the cracker-backer.

Maybe all I need to do is ask: “What do you guys do to get your much needed exercise?”
How best should I sneak into some easy low-impact form of movement?

Thanks in advance.
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Ken Bondy
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[*] posted on 6-10-2010 at 04:41 PM


I swim almost every day except in the winter months (Dec-Feb). I do lengths in the pool for about a half hour. That equates to a total of about 1/3 mile/day. When the weather prevents jumping in the pool I try to walk a mile a day on a treadmill, but mentally it is much easier to push myself into the pool than onto the treadmill. I actually enjoy swimming - walking on the treadmill is WORK.



carpe diem!
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DENNIS
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[*] posted on 6-10-2010 at 04:45 PM


Quote:
Originally posted by Osprey
“What do you guys do to get your much needed exercise?”

some easy low-impact form of movement?



Elimination is my favorite method of excercising. It's a form of isometrics.
My body just contracts and squeezes itself into a knot of wonder while poisens escape from my inner laboratory of filth. What a joyous moment.
You too???
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Osprey
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[*] posted on 6-10-2010 at 04:50 PM


Not me. Did it only once when I was in grade school. All that pressure took away my ability to spell.
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Osprey
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[*] posted on 6-10-2010 at 04:58 PM


Ken, you are a pal. I do get in the water and I have been able to just hang out there without moving anything. Evidently whatever that is around my waist has a specific gravity less than water and I whale away.
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[*] posted on 6-11-2010 at 07:09 AM


Hiking, gardening, dancing with 3 year old, helping friends move, shopping and trying on clothes - really - try it for 2 hours.
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[*] posted on 6-11-2010 at 07:33 AM


At the tender age of 65 I've taken up basketball. I walk to a local park, takes about 15+ minutes. Then shoot baskets for 20-30 minutes then walk home. I haven't played basketball since the 8th grade but I think I'm getting my shot back and maybe a NBA team is looking for a short fat old white guy to even the team out.
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Iflyfish
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[*] posted on 6-11-2010 at 07:35 AM


I have passed a lot of water in my days.....low impact exercise and very satisfying. Dennis works too hard.

I mostly exercise the digits via this technology and the elbow using wine bottles to strengthen my forearms. They get lighter as you exercise, always a plus, like the horse running back to the barn, easier as you progress.

There is always sex and a good feigned orgasm provides a lot of muscle contraction. A good scream is of course beneficial also. You can do the scream and sex at the same time to save time and effort. You have got to make exercise fun and easy if you are going to stay at it and this is why I recommend combining the scream with the sex.

Another often neglected form of exercise is the removal of toe jam. This can in and of itself be very satisfying as well as hygienic. Hygiene is very important; some say cleanliness is next to godliness, so one gets the extra benefit of spiritual growth from this particular form of exercise.

You do have an abundance of sand around you; use it as your exercise companion. Walk in it, particularly where it is soft, roll in it and stretch to remove it from those hard to reach cracks and crevices. Bury yourself in it, or better, let someone else bury you and struggle to get out by yourself. I can guarantee and hour of that will take off the pounds as well as provide whoever is burying you with a great deal of satisfaction if you provide them with the proper chair and libation, don’t forget the libation.

I will ponder more on this important subject and get back to you if anything else comes to mind. Thinking also is good exercise for the synapses. Those little guys need their aerobics too.

If you think about it a good cry or runny nose can really exercise those tear and sinus ducts. If you combine crying with drinking you can exercise the arms, tear ducts and sinuses.

Now one of my favorite forms of low impact exercise involves growing hair. I have found that as I age that the nose and ears are the most productive.

Iflyfish
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Osprey
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[*] posted on 6-11-2010 at 07:43 AM


Flyguy, you can't just leap into some of that stuff you brought up. Better to sneak up on some of it. Like the crying part > I can handle that but I'd like to start with a week or so of whining. What's an orgasm?

I know I will not stoop to the strenuous conclusion jumping done by a whole lot of people on this board. Can't be good for you. You could beak something.
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Iflyfish
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[*] posted on 6-11-2010 at 07:52 AM


Ok, I neglected to explain the big O. It's sort of like sneezing from the nether regions. Hard to achieve, but very satisfying I am told.

Which reminds me I neglected to even mention the sneeze, which can be excellent exercise for those around you if you give no warning.

As to the crying, your stategey of beginging with a good wine is an excellent idea, may I recommend zinfadel. Or a particularly bad two buck chuck can also start the water works if you think about what you are missing. Doing ones taxes can also provide excellent stimulation but is only good once a year.

Strenuous conclusions are also great aerobic exercise which along with editing can really get the old ticker going. Speaking of tickers, I wind my ships clock every Saturday morning, great wrist aerobics.

Iflyfishinmymindformentalexercise
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[*] posted on 6-11-2010 at 08:20 AM


I met this hippie dude who told me he straightens his spine through pee shivers. Pulling nose hair is good exercise...no pain no gain!



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[*] posted on 6-11-2010 at 10:15 AM


Quote:
Originally posted by Iflyfish
You do have an abundance of sand around you; use it as your exercise companion. Walk in it, particularly where it is soft, roll in it and stretch to remove it from those hard to reach cracks and crevices. Bury yourself in it, or better, let someone else bury you and struggle to get out by yourself. I can guarantee and hour of that will take off the pounds ....
Iflyfish


I couldn't believe how tiring messing around in the sand can be.

One year I took the kids to the Eureka dunes in Death Valley. They loved it. They ran up those things then rolled back down. Then they found some plywood and slid down that way. It looked like so much fun I decided to join in. Bad idea. I went up and down the small dune a couple of times and couldn't stop panting for the next hour. It was exhausting.

Then there was the time I planned to carry Alex on my back down into the Stanislaus canyon for some hard to reach trout. He was 5 at the time. You guessed it. I couldn't keep up with him as he scampered up that trail. That was a fun trip. We finished it off by swimming in one of those small pools at the base of the falls.

Leaving for baja tonight. Can't wait to try my new lures.
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[*] posted on 6-11-2010 at 10:43 AM


I was told to take my meds,don,t fight with my wife and exercise or die:o I don,t need much more to get moving:lol:

Five days a week my routine is start with stretching,than fast walk for 45 min. to an hour than finish with the weights,always been in good shape and ran alot so it wasn,t a big change for me.

Just yesterday my Doc cleaned me for three months:biggrin:
LDL....70
HDL....51
Total cholesterol.....116
Blood P........103/67
Pluse rate resting..........64

Not bad numbers for my age,turned 76 a couple days ago:biggrin:
Rob
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wessongroup
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[*] posted on 6-11-2010 at 10:46 AM


Looking good Rob... just watch the fighting with the wife... not bad for getting over that surgery... and considering what you must have done to your body... while in the area of Subic Bay.... :lol::lol:

[Edited on 6-11-2010 by wessongroup]




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[*] posted on 6-11-2010 at 11:07 AM


Getting out of bed 6 times a night is plenty of exercise for me.:biggrin::biggrin:

Liver....big enough for 3 transplants,
and lots of pressure 250/175.:biggrin::biggrin:

[Edited on 6-11-2010 by vandenberg]

[Edited on 6-11-2010 by vandenberg]




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Udo
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[*] posted on 6-11-2010 at 07:21 PM


I know about getting up several times a night to pee, just like vandenberg.
Then I started taking Beta Prostate, and after a month I was sleeping through the whole night.
To answer Osprey's excercise story:
Since I live in the mountains, walking on the hills is a great workout.
Once in Baja, my regular workouts will be beach walking and kayaking.

But when I first read your story, George, I was reading that the ladies were going to PIRATES class.
And I'm only on my first tequila shooter!

Note:
Baitcast's numbers are something to be jeallous about...most 25 year-olds don't have that great a number!

Mine:
Total cholesterol: 127...down from 333:O
BP: 115/77 average, down from 200/120:o
Pulse: 71 unless I look at my wife:yes::!:
PSA: 5.2, down from 7.7 and taking Beta Prostate (non prescription);D
Weight: 168 avg.:):tumble:




Udo

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[*] posted on 6-12-2010 at 10:15 AM


Here is another thread that will die in a few days. Huh Osprey?



Udo

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baitcast
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[*] posted on 6-12-2010 at 11:21 AM


A suggestion for those nite-time trips,when pills don,t get it done,three years ago I got a rotor rooter job,at the time psa was over 7 and I was getting no sleep and worn out,if I watch what I drink in the evening I,m good all nite now :biggrin: and just last week the psa was 1.7 there is hope.
Rob
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[*] posted on 6-12-2010 at 11:26 AM


Hey, Rob...

I am interested in your rotor rooter job. Could you tell me the procedure and effect on S.E.X life?
Did the rooter job bring you down to 1.7, or did you do something else?

That 1.7 is highly enviable!




Udo

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Bajatripper
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lol.gif posted on 6-12-2010 at 02:49 PM


Quote:
Originally posted by DENNIS
Quote:
Originally posted by Osprey
“What do you guys do to get your much needed exercise?”

some easy low-impact form of movement?



Elimination is my favorite method of excercising. It's a form of isometrics.
My body just contracts and squeezes itself into a knot of wonder while poisens escape from my inner laboratory of filth. What a joyous moment.
You too???


Your wit gets a chuckle out of me every time;D
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