Santiago
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Serious issues on George y Ms Tioga's blog
For those of you who remember George Leher and his blog about his boondocking adventures in Baja, you might find his recent tragedy and how he is
dealing with it worth your while. The link takes you to his late
September post when he found out he had a family emergency and then just click on the "Tomorrow" button in the lower right hand corner of each day's
post to take you through the process. He's given his permission to supply this link. Very moving and thought-provoking, to say the least.
http://blog.vagabonders-supreme.net/2010/09/music-memories.h...
[Edited on 10-28-2010 by Santiago]
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David K
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Just read it all and viewed the video... wow, very sad and I wonder why with all he had going for him...
Thanks Jim, that was 'deep'!
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Skeet/Loreto
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WHY???
Why did he take his Life. ??
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David K
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Maybe his dad will reveal the contents of the note eventually?
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Skeet/Loreto
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David: I never understood why the Police where looking for him. I did not pick it up. Did You?
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David K
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A mystery? What I am curious about is no mention of a wife... Can a single man so easily become a foster-dad? Great that he was able to do so much, if
he was single... There is sure a missing element here... the photos sure show a happy, successful person... his dad seems most devoted to him, Almost
a reverse roll? Anyway, I am very sad for Jorge (the dad) and for the lives affected by David's death.
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Skeet/Loreto
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Yes. Avery Tragic Story and told from the heart.
I think I picked up that the Front Door had been knocked in by the police. Maybe to serve a Warrant. Sure not much in the concord News Papers.
I know the area where he took his Life, one of the most beautifull places going this side of yosemite park. A couple of miles from Buck meadows where
I worked as a Bartender and invented the Two-Eyed Tequilla.
Let me know if you get any other news ,
Skeet
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Iflyfish
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Heart wrenching stuff! Those of us who are left behind are left with a ton of questions and that is hard!!
What a tragedy in this good man's life. I hope as he goes through his grief that he will come out the other side even more alive!!
Iflyfish
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vgabndo
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Having lived through the suicide of a family member, and having had to pick through the remains of a life so recently ended, I was reminded of the
horrible reality and aweful pain that can be found in a well worn shoe.
The temptation if far too great to "read between the lines" here and project a judgement which may be terribly wrong.
I hope that George will finally share the truth he has learned; both for himself and for what we all can learn from it.
Mostly, I sense that George will be OK. His story will be with me for a lot longer than these tears on my cheeks.
Undoubtedly, there are people who cannot afford to give the anchor of sanity even the slightest tug. Sam Harris
"The situation is far too dire for pessimism."
Bill Kauth
Carl Sagan said, "We are a way for the cosmos to know itself."
PEACE, LOVE AND FISH TACOS
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Skeet/Loreto
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Well said:
Vag.
I too have gone through the suicide of a Sister. Still have moments that tears me up inside.
His story was from the heart and his realization that there was nothing he could do about it speaks very Loud.
God Bless Him.
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TiogaRV
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This is Tioga George
My son, David, committed suicide the day after the police broke thru his front door on September 19, 2010. David was a quiet guy, never married, but
a foster parent for 16 years.
It was a difficult task for David to be a single foster parent. David was a senior software engineer at Bay Area Rapid Transit [BART] for 25 years.
He started working at BART in 1985, when he was only 20 years old. When David died, he was the Division Manager of Research & Development.
Being a single foster parent meant, that whenever school phoned that one of his kids were sick, David would have to leave work to take the kid from
school and stay with the kid until he was well enough to return to school.
David had two foster kids living with him when he died. They were two half brothers with the same mother. They both were brain damaged children,
because the mother took drugs during pregnancy.
David was the victim of a false police report initiated by this mother. Unfortunately, when a police report is begun during recent years and includes
a charge by a minor child, the person charged is considered guilty until proven innocent.
Being a foster parent was a major part of David's life. After the warrant was served, his foster kids were taken from him. I guess that this loss
was just too much for David. And he decided to end his life.
This is a great tragedy. Not only for myself, David's mother and brother. But for the foster kid program in Contra Costa County. During the 16
years that David was a foster parent, he cared for over 30 foster kids. Some for long periods of time. One for nine years from 9 years old to 18
years. One for eight years from 10 years old to 18 years.
Often Child Protective Services would phone David late on an afternoon, usually a Friday afternoon, pleading with him to take some kids. David most
often said yes to CPS. Very tough to do this too. Because most of these kids were damaged from being around criminal parents.
David was a very generous man, giving help including money to the foster mothers who had foster kids with him from his own pocket. At the time of his
death, David had been helping the mother who initiated the false report that led to his suicide!!
I found on David's desk, resumes that he prepared for this woman to help her find work. Neighbors of this woman told me that David often gave this
mother $200 gifts to help her out. Did that gift thing often. Unfortunately this woman, according to neighbors, used David's money to support her
drug addiction.
I've reported all of this to the detective in charge of David's investigation. To me it is a moot issue since David is dead. I have no hard feelings
against this woman, as she is living in a hell of her own making. She screwed up her kids with drug taking during pregnancy, beat her own kids with
sticks according to neighbors, and witnessed her own husband rape her 12 year old boy. That 12 year old boy was one of David's foster kids the day
that the search warrant was served on David.
This is a true nightmare, a horror story. Will justice be done here? Only time will tell.
George
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David K
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Sorry George... very sorry for your pain amigo.
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shari
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Dear George....I feel your pain brother and share your tears...my heart goes out to those left behind. But know this...your son has been chosen for
greater work. He has proven himself worthy through his life of dedication to a greater good. The creator works in mysterious ways we cannot even begin
to fathom.
since this is so fresh, it is the most painfull thing you will endure...but please try to find peace ...have faith that David is now on the angels
team and can do even greater work...help us poor mortals even more than he aready has. He has left behind a legacy in those children he fostered...he
was a brave man. Sometimes suicide can be considered cowardly but I would imagine it takes great bravery. We have no right to judge...we have no idea
what goes on in the minds and hearts of others.
David had a calling...he lovingly did what he had to do when he selflessly accepted damaged souls into his life and his ultimate act was also to do
what he had to do to to find his own peace.
Fly with the angels David and know that you were well loved.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And I want to thank you George for sharing your tragedy with the world. Your blog was moving to say the least and hopefully will help others in some
way. Your honesty is a blessing and I am glad you are getting lots of support...it will help you heal...open your heart and receive all the love that
is coming your way.
(My partner and I operated a crisis centre for teens and later a group home so I have an idea what David was dealing with and admire his courage to
foster kids in need of a loving parent...it aint easy and one ends up absorbing some of the pain we try to lift from our kids)
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Santiago
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Jorge: Thank you for this post.
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wessongroup
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Mood: Suicide Hot line ... please hold
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Thanks Shari.... that is the way I would like to "think" of it too....
George.... can only wish you peace ... and thank you for sharing...
And I'm going to take your advise " I am going to re-double my efforts to be uncritical, non-judgmental, loving, caring and sensitive to all of those
that I care for and love. And the most important thing that I am going to do, is to never take them for granted again!"
Your experiences which you have shared have tremendous value to all...
Thank you for opening a "window" into your sons life and letting light in .... it is a just super view of ones life helping to make things better for
all those he came in contact with....
You may be correct "I do not believe that we survive our physical death" but, will say David's physical presence will be around for a long, long
while.. he did so much good... it does work that way... in my book... as we are talking infinity so expect you will be seeing him again sometime...
but, that's just the way I look at the Universe ... and life...
Great job Dad and Mom.... he was a really super son, foster father, friend, and much, munch more.. to so many people ...
Again, peace... and I have been there on the not sleeping for days and days...
And Santiago, thank you for putting this up...
[Edited on 10-30-2010 by wessongroup]
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Iflyfish
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Thank you George, I have been moved deeply by your account of the death of your son. You have been an inspiration to so many in your life and your son
was an apple that did not fall far from the tree. He helped many that others who were neglected, abused and ignored. His life was spent doing very
good and important work, who among us could wish for more? When the bell tolls it is not our accumulated toys that will occupy our thoughts, it will
be the people we loved and who we cared about.
We all die and it is most difficult when our children die before us, it is not right and very hard to deal with. You are a model for us in how to take
on life directly as it presents itself and to seek help when needed.
I admire your openness and honesty. It is rare to find such quality of character in tragedies like this. It is in times like this that one’s true
character is shown and yours is stellar as was your sons. You are a model for us in how to deal directly with grief. There is such a range of emotions
one goes through in situations like this.
For me there was a powerful awakening to learn that being open to these profound feelings, allowing them to move thru me like a wave, allowed me to
land safely on the beach. It was also a discovery to learn that my grief came in waves and was interspersed with wonderful feelings and memories too.
I recall laughing heartily at my father’s wake and then wondering if something was wrong with me. He later came to me in a dream, on his belly riding
a skate board. He looked up at me and said “it’s the only way I could get your attention! Have fun!! He gave me a big smile and said “I am ok, don’t
worry about me, enjoy your life”
Abrazos Forte Amigo!
Iflyfish
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BajaBlanca
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I love that dream Iflyfish.
I cannot imagine the pain of losing a son, so George, you will be in my special prayers for a good while. Sounds like your son was an amazing human.
Wish I had met him.
thanks Santiago, for sharing.
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