Pompano
Elite Nomad
Posts: 8194
Registered: 11-14-2004
Location: Bay of Conception and Up North
Member Is Offline
Mood: Optimistic
|
|
Today is Tax Day. Got the new forms?
I have just received the latest tax forms from the IRS.
It's the new short form with only 2 pages.
Page 1. Enter your yearly income on this line $________.
Page 2. Send it to us.
P.S. I know how this JOKE will probably get hijacked into something political, but can we please just try to keep it humorous, instead? No right
wing, no left wing...por favor?
If you have any other favorite IRS jokes, please post them.
[Edited on 4-15-2013 by Pompano]
I do what the voices in my tackle box tell me.
|
|
|
bajaguy
Elite Nomad
Posts: 9247
Registered: 9-16-2003
Location: Carson City, NV/Ensenada - Baja Country Club
Member Is Offline
Mood: must be 5 O'clock somewhere in Baja
|
|
| Quote: | Originally posted by Pompano
I have just received the latest tax forms from the IRS.
It's the new short form with only 2 pages.
Page 1. Enter your yearly income on this line $________.
Page 2. Send it to us.
|
And it is only going to get worse 
|
|
|
vgabndo
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3461
Registered: 12-8-2003
Location: Mt. Shasta, CA
Member Is Offline
Mood: Checking-off my bucket list.
|
|
Personally, I'm already too poor to be asked to pay taxes. But for those of you feeling the pinch, here's the tip of the iceberg of the story of the
people who aren't feeling the pinch at all. B of A, Exxon, FedEx, etc etc. Those companies historically support liberal causes, right? Don't waste
too much time trying to change my mind, I won't be following this to OffTopic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=P...
Undoubtedly, there are people who cannot afford to give the anchor of sanity even the slightest tug. Sam Harris
"The situation is far too dire for pessimism."
Bill Kauth
Carl Sagan said, "We are a way for the cosmos to know itself."
PEACE, LOVE AND FISH TACOS
|
|
|
monoloco
Elite Nomad
Posts: 6667
Registered: 7-13-2009
Location: Pescadero BCS
Member Is Offline
|
|
| Quote: | Originally posted by vgabndo
Personally, I'm already too poor to be asked to pay taxes. But for those of you feeling the pinch, here's the tip of the iceberg of the story of the
people who aren't feeling the pinch at all. B of A, Exxon, FedEx, etc etc. Those companies historically support liberal causes, right? Don't waste
too much time trying to change my mind, I won't be following this to OffTopic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=P... |
Doesn't everyone use the "Double Irish
with a Dutch sandwich" strategy? It works great for me!
|
|
|
Udo
Elite Nomad
Posts: 6346
Registered: 4-26-2008
Location: Black Hills, SD/Ensenada/San Felipe
Member Is Offline
Mood: TEQUILA!
|
|
My CPA just informed me that they filed an "EXTENSION" with the US IRS.
I was peeed!
He had my workbook filing for 8 weeks!
Udo
Youth is wasted on the young!
|
|
|
elgatoloco
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4332
Registered: 11-19-2002
Location: Yes
Member Is Offline
|
|
| Quote: | Originally posted by Udo
My CPA just informed me that they filed an "EXTENSION" with the US IRS.
I was peeed!
He had my workbook filing for 8 weeks! |
Udo. You should be peeed. I have had the same accountant since 1981 when I started my business. Her firm is in Anaheim. Let me know if you need her
number for future use. She is the best.
I will be heading over to the main post office tonight for my annual ritual where I send the IRS and State my final payment postmarked 11:59 4/15.
MAGA
Making Attorneys Get Attorneys
|
|
|
msteve1014
Senior Nomad
Posts: 947
Registered: 12-2-2006
Member Is Offline
|
|
In the old days ( when I was young) there were jokes about some local unions having a 2 question journeymans exam.
got 50 bucks?
got it on you?
|
|
|
durrelllrobert
Elite Nomad
Posts: 7393
Registered: 11-22-2007
Location: Punta Banda BC
Member Is Offline
Mood: thriving in Baja
|
|
More about the Internal Rubinyou service
A pizza shop owner was being audited by the IRS. The deli owner asked, "What is wrong? Why am I being audited?" The IRS auditor replied, "You have got
two trips to Europe down as business expenses. What is your explanation?" The pizza shop owner replied, "We deliver!"
A tax preparer, uncertain as to whether a client's wife was entitled to the an additional exemption for being sixty-five years of age, sent the
husband an e-mail requesting the information. The next day he got an answer back: My wife says she is not 65, nor will she ever be!
This [preparing my tax return] is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher.
Albert Einstein
It is seldom given to mortal man to feel superior to a tax lawyer.
Anthony C. Amsterdam
Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results.
Receptionist: "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the
samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's.
Frankly, that's either bad or terrible."
Mr. Smith: "What do you mean?"
Receptionist: "Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for
Alzheimer disease and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which is
your wife."
Mr. Smith: "That's terrible! Can we do the test over?
Receptionist: "Normally, yes. But you have an HMO, and they
won't pay for these expensive tests more than once.
Mr. Smith: "Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
Receptionist: "The doctor recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don't sleep with her."
A man about to have a heart transplant was offered the choice of either a 26 year-old marathon runner's heart or the heart of a 62 year-old IRS agent.
He picked the agent's heart because he said it had never been used.
The Tax Code of the United States has become so complicated and confusing that over half of all taxpayers now have their tax forms prepared by
professionals. There are two good reasons to call the IRS help line for your tax questions instead. First it is FREE. Second, if you do not like the
answer you can just call again later, the answer will be different every time.
Enron Accountant: The Andersen auditors have just left, sir.
Enron VP: Did they check the books?
Enron Accountant: Very thoroughly.
Enron VP: What did they say?
Enron Accountant: They want 15 percent to keep quiet.
Taxpayer describing his dilemma...
I am involved in a big dispute with the IRS. I say my car should be 100% deductible, the IRS says 50%. I use the front seat for business and the back
seat for entertainment.
Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the man replied, "You cannot do this - I am an IRS agent!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"
Bob Durrell
|
|
|
![[*]](images/xmbforum/default_icon.gif){kind=icon}
