Gypsy Jan
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Really Upset
Well, I didn't want to use the "PO" phrase.
A very nice young girl who does work for us is pregnant.
Her boyfriend, who lives and works in the U.S.is all "OH BOY, what a man I am!"
He has no education and she has no education; she didn't graduate from high school.
I am so angry I can't even look or talk to to her and I am sputtering to myself like a madwoman. Her life is basically over. We have knowledge of
young women who live in tin cans (abandoned trailers) around us with three or more children while their "husbands" go to the U.S. and find American
women to support them.
I went and complained to the visiting priest and he told me that I had position in these matters.
[Edited on 5-11-2013 by Gypsy Jan]
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow mindedness.”
—Mark Twain
\"La vida es dura, el corazon es puro, y cantamos hasta la madrugada.” (Life is hard, the heart is pure and we sing until dawn.)
—Kirsty MacColl, Mambo de la Luna
\"Alea iacta est.\"
—Julius Caesar
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DENNIS
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There are alternatives to child birth.
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Ateo
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Sorry to hear about that. Kids, so easy to make, yet so hard to properly raise.
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paranewbi
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Gypsy Jan; You can still be a postitive force in mitigating the temptation to follow in the footsteps of the 'tin can' moms. Now might be the best
time to come along side this girl and keep her employed, counsel her in the times when those who celebrate this event are not the ones she can turn
to, and foremost be at least what you have been in her life, a mentor.
You'll have her ear if you keep her heart.
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Curt63
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Mood: Fish tacos and Tecate
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Gypsy Jan
Her life is basically over.
I went and complained to the visiting priest and he told me that I had position in these matters.
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Why is her life over?
What position do you have?
Its her life.
No worries
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Gypsy Jan
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 4275
Registered: 1-27-2004
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Mood: Depends on which way the wind is blowing
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She is Not Seeking My Input
I just see her future.
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow mindedness.”
—Mark Twain
\"La vida es dura, el corazon es puro, y cantamos hasta la madrugada.” (Life is hard, the heart is pure and we sing until dawn.)
—Kirsty MacColl, Mambo de la Luna
\"Alea iacta est.\"
—Julius Caesar
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BajaBlanca
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Location: La Bocana, BCS
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Her life, such as it was, is over.
But....my mom's maid, many moons ago in Brazil, got pregnant by her first boss and gave the daughter to her family to raise, so she could work.
Skip forward many years and she is working for my mom, who ok's her daughter moving in with us. Suely became part of our family. Skip forward more
years and Lulu gets pregnant again and wants to have the baby. Is not interested in being with the father at all. My mom, a catholic, accepts the new
baby into the family.
Skip forward again and Lulu gets cancer. Two years before she died, my mom and i discuss what will happen with the boy and i decide to adopt him. We
plan to do this AFTER Lulu dies. However, one day she approaches my mom and asks her to give me a call (they are in Brazil and I live in California)
to ask if I would like to adopt Rafael. Beautiful outcome to a very sad situation.
My kid is fun and crazy and mine and ornery and strong-willed and I love him.
So, life takes strange turns, Gypsy Jan. Your workers path will be VERY different but perhaps wonderful, in its own way. Cheer up and be there for
her, she needs you now.
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toneart
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Wow! Blanca, I never knew the circumstances of your adopting Rafa.
I watched him grow up into a fine young man. You are to be commended for the fine job you did in raising him and for taking on the adoption in the
first place.  I am proud to know you!
Tony (or "Toners" as you have always called me).
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EnsenadaDr
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Mood: Move on. It is just a chapter in the past, but don't close the book- just turn the page
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Gypsy, her life is not over!! You'd be surprised how resilient these young kids are. I have friends that graduated as Doctors and think they are
doing fantastic making $500 pesos a day. My classmate came up to me in the street the other day and was beaming and said, "I am working at Walmart" (I
guess they have a Doctor on the premises.) After 6 years of medical school. this was considered a great catch. Nobody makes a fortune down there
anyway even if they do have a great education. And many Mexicans don't want to leave Mexico and move to the US...for whatever reason, one being they
don't want to learn English. So take a big breath, and remove yourself from the situation...Mexico is NOT the USA...
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toneart
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Gypsy Jan
Well, I didn't want to use the "PO" phrase.
A very nice young girl who does work for us is pregnant.
Her boyfriend, who lives and works in the U.S.is all "OH BOY, what a man I am!"
He has no education and she has no education; she didn't graduate from high school.
I am so angry I can't even look or talk to to her and I am sputtering to myself like a madwoman. Her life is basically over. We have knowledge of
young women who live in tin cans (abandoned trailers) around us with three or more children while their "husbands" go to the U.S. and find American
women to support them.
I went and complained to the visiting priest and he told me that I had position in these matters.
[Edited on 5-11-2013 by Gypsy Jan] |
Jan,
I can understand your shock. But this is a syndrome that is common. Forget the guy. He is a butthead and he is gone. Now she is left with her family
and...you.
Hopefully your anger will pass and you can model a positive attitude for her. She needs this. She has seen it before, and she, her family and her
friends (her culture)will mke the necessary adjustments. What is important is how she deals with it.
In a Catholic country, which shuns birth control, their belief is that God will provide. And somehow, she will get by with her baby. The good news is
that she will have a baby to love and who will love her all her life. That you know her is a bonus. Give her love.
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EnsenadaDr
Banned
Posts: 5027
Registered: 9-12-2011
Location: Baja California
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Mood: Move on. It is just a chapter in the past, but don't close the book- just turn the page
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I agree. You know, the older I get, the more I love babies, they are just wonderful little people, and like it was mentioned, hopefully you will get
past the anger and enjoy the baby and her mom... | Quote: | Originally posted by toneart
| Quote: | Originally posted by Gypsy Jan
Well, I didn't want to use the "PO" phrase.
A very nice young girl who does work for us is pregnant.
Her boyfriend, who lives and works in the U.S.is all "OH BOY, what a man I am!"
He has no education and she has no education; she didn't graduate from high school.
I am so angry I can't even look or talk to to her and I am sputtering to myself like a madwoman. Her life is basically over. We have knowledge of
young women who live in tin cans (abandoned trailers) around us with three or more children while their "husbands" go to the U.S. and find American
women to support them.
I went and complained to the visiting priest and he told me that I had position in these matters.
[Edited on 5-11-2013 by Gypsy Jan] |
Jan,
I can understand your shock. But this is a syndrome that is common. Forget the guy. He is a butthead and he is gone. Now she is left with her family
and...you.
Hopefully your anger will pass and you can model a positive attitude for her. She needs this. She has seen it before, and she, her family and her
friends (her culture)will mke the necessary adjustments. What is important is how she deals with it.
In a Catholic country, which shuns birth control, their belief is that God will provide. And somehow, she will get by with her baby. The good news is
that she will have a baby to love and who will love her all her life. That you know her is a bonus. Give her love. |
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BajaBlanca
Select Nomad
Posts: 13195
Registered: 10-28-2008
Location: La Bocana, BCS
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thanks Toners ! I like knowing you too ....
I do hope everyone's input makes it easier, Jan, for you to deal with this situation.
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Heather
Nomad
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Registered: 10-31-2002
Location: National City, CA
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Jan, as a high school teacher for the last 20 years, I understand where you 're coming from! It always makes me a little sad when kids I had as
Sophomores come back to show me their babies when they're seniors...or recent grads....it makes me sad, because they look so sad!
They see friends enjoying their teens...and they have lot bigger things to worry about! Many have moms ready to help out, because often the guys
don't stick around for long!
I've also had male students bragging about having their babies...they generally get to stay in school...but on some you can see the pressure building
up!
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David K
Honored Nomad
Posts: 64759
Registered: 8-30-2002
Location: San Diego County
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Mood: Have Baja Fever
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Her life isn't over, just a new chapter is beginning... If she is unwilling/ unable to be a mom at this time, there are many potential moms who would
treasure the baby she is making and will give him/her the home needed.
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bajamedic
Nomad
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Registered: 12-5-2008
Location: Northern California
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Mood: Just waitin for baja
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My second wife and I are raising one of her adopted daughter’s baby that was conceived during a one night stand, neither “parent” wanted her… she is
now 3 years old. I too was angry when I heard about the situation, but I chose to be a positive influence in a little girl’s life. I am so glad her
mother did not abort her as planned and even though this is not how I had planned to spend my retirement, I am very happy to be able to spend my life
with a little angel and would not have it any other way. JH
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paranewbi
Senior Nomad
Posts: 913
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Location: San diego
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Bajamedic...what a blessing to have the time to devote to such a one as this! Your plans could have never matched the joy on your shoulders!
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David K
Honored Nomad
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Registered: 8-30-2002
Location: San Diego County
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Mood: Have Baja Fever
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Awesome!
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durrelllrobert
Elite Nomad
Posts: 7393
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Location: Punta Banda BC
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Mood: thriving in Baja
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| Quote: | Originally posted by EnsenadaDr
Gypsy, her life is not over!! You'd be surprised how resilient these young kids are. I have friends that graduated as Doctors and think they are
doing fantastic making $500 pesos a day. My classmate came up to me in the street the other day and was beaming and said, "I am working at Walmart" (I
guess they have a Doctor on the premises.) After 6 years of medical school. this was considered a great catch. Nobody makes a fortune down there
anyway even if they do have a great education. And many Mexicans don't want to leave Mexico and move to the US...for whatever reason, one being they
don't want to learn English. So take a big breath, and remove yourself from the situation...Mexico is NOT the USA... |
My wife's doctor in Canada got his degree in Mexico City and finished schooling up there. He speaks pretty good Canadian, but not much English 
Bob Durrell
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desertcpl
Super Nomad
Posts: 2396
Registered: 10-26-2008
Location: yuma,az
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| Quote: | Originally posted by bajamedic
My second wife and I are raising one of her adopted daughter’s baby that was conceived during a one night stand, neither “parent” wanted her… she is
now 3 years old. I too was angry when I heard about the situation, but I chose to be a positive influence in a little girl’s life. I am so glad her
mother did not abort her as planned and even though this is not how I had planned to spend my retirement, I am very happy to be able to spend my life
with a little angel and would not have it any other way. JH
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that is really hard to put in words, she looks like a little angel for sure, little cutie
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DavidE
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3814
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Location: Baja California México
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Mood: 'At home we demand facts and get them. In Mexico one subsists on rumor and never demands anything.' Charles Flandrau,
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Ann Landers offered a solution to prevent unwanted pregnancy aimed at women...
It involved the use of Aspirin...
"Open the bottle, remove a single tablet, clasp it between your knees..."
A Lot To See And A Lot To Do
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