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cessna821
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Posts: 148
Registered: 9-17-2010
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Living at ease in Baja
Mexicans are partly descended from Spanish speaking people, and they have typical Spanish manners, courteous and polite.
Just today I saw a big expat, American or Canadian, push past some Mexicans queueing in a tienda without ackowledgement of any sort.
I was in the same queue to pay for my groceries and as I stood there several Mexicans came in and passed in the same way, and each of them
acknowledged the folks in the queue with a nod and "Con Permiso". All smiled and replied.
Such a difference in attitude, and ambience.
It makes me wonder if these differences in culture are the main cause of expat problems in Baja.
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jimgrms
Senior Nomad
Posts: 664
Registered: 9-30-2005
Location: oceanside ca
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Mood: its always good
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Nah just some folks are rude
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vgabndo
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3461
Registered: 12-8-2003
Location: Mt. Shasta, CA
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Mood: Checking-off my bucket list.
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It pains me when I see this and I often let the people who've been offended know how I feel, but I wonder how a person might "remain at ease" and
still make their discomfort known to the offenders.
Undoubtedly, there are people who cannot afford to give the anchor of sanity even the slightest tug. Sam Harris
"The situation is far too dire for pessimism."
Bill Kauth
Carl Sagan said, "We are a way for the cosmos to know itself."
PEACE, LOVE AND FISH TACOS
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sancho
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Posts: 2524
Registered: 10-6-2004
Location: OC So Cal
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Expats should know manners/customs, Tourists maybe
not so, some expats are
in Mex to enjoy it for what it is, learn the language, etc., while some are there for the cheaper living, climate,
fishing, drinking. I do know from experience
that standing in line in Mex, one should not give much room
between yourself and the person standing in front of you,
otherwise Mex Nationals tend to think you are not in line,
a word I try to use when appropriate is quesira, which I believe
is I wish, in place of I want
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David K
Honored Nomad
Posts: 64755
Registered: 8-30-2002
Location: San Diego County
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Mood: Have Baja Fever
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Sounds like a rude person, no matter where he is from, or just not paying attention to how it's done?
Have you seen the behavior of 'Mexican Nationals' in traffic anywhere in Mexico (Guadalajara comes to mind), and getting into line at the border?
Somehow the highly courteous Mexicano loses it when he gets behind the wheel. Family business greed is another fail... Guadalupe Canyon Hot Springs
comes to mind.
I was told the story of 'frogs in a well' by a (Mexican National) friend of mine...
In the Mexican well, as soon as one frog gets above the others finding a method out, his brothers at the bottom jump up and pull him back down!
He continues to tell me in the (Norte) Americano well, the frog that gets an advantage is cheered on, and he helps the other frogs to get out too!
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shari
Select Nomad
Posts: 13047
Registered: 3-10-2006
Location: bahia asuncion, baja sur
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Mood: there is no reality except the one contained within us "Herman Hesse"
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that sound just plain rude all right....when I first moved to Asuncion, I experienced the opposite which baffled me! Often, locals would simply step
in front of me in line like I wasnt even there...I accepted it for years until one day I was fed up and stood up for myself...politely...canadian
style of course...umm...excuse me miss, I think I may have been here in line and it's my turn. The lady looked at me as if I had 3 eyes and continued
to pay for her purchases...but I felt better.
It doesnt happen at all anymore...I guess I just had to put in my time...but it did upset me for quite awhile.
but yes, I do think that many problems people have in Mexico results from a lack of understanding of the culture and ways of doing things here.
The perfect example is when I hear people complaining about the slow service when they never bring the cheque after a meal...but in Mexico it is
considered very rude to just bring the cheque if it isnt asked for...it's just different.
I did have to learn to step up and just yell out my order at taco stands instead of waiting for them to take my order...I would be at the front of the
line...right in front of them and people behind me were getting served after they shout...Dame dos de carne asada! and not even a please or thank
you...my my.
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bajaguy
Elite Nomad
Posts: 9247
Registered: 9-16-2003
Location: Carson City, NV/Ensenada - Baja Country Club
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Mood: must be 5 O'clock somewhere in Baja
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Cheque????
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bajajudy
Elite Nomad
Posts: 6886
Registered: 10-4-2004
Location: San Jose del Cabo,BCS
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| Quote: | Originally posted by sancho
a word I try to use when appropriate is quesira, which I believe
is I wish, in place of I want |
I believe that it is quisiera which means I would like and is considered more polite than quiero which means I want.
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shari
Select Nomad
Posts: 13047
Registered: 3-10-2006
Location: bahia asuncion, baja sur
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Mood: there is no reality except the one contained within us "Herman Hesse"
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Oh excuse me bajaguy...my canadian is showing!
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dasubergeek
Senior Nomad
Posts: 694
Registered: 8-17-2013
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I had to force myself, when I first started going, to use the 'tú' form more often, especially at places like taco stands ("Dame dos de carne asada"
instead of "deme dos de carne asada"). I grew up speaking French, and in French you would never, ever, ever address someone you don't know as "tu"
unless they were a small child or a pet.
On the other hand, Mexicans have much more florid manners when they are being formal. I get stared at when I talk in Spanish to Puerto Ricans or
Dominicans because when I don't hear them, I've become conditioned to say, "¿Mande?"
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Paulina
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 3810
Registered: 8-31-2002
Location: BCN
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I have a "waiting in line' story to share.
Once upon a long time ago, at a town dance on New Year's eve, I was waiting my turn in a long line to use the toilet. I was finally at the door, next
up. As the door opened and the ladies that were inside came out, two other ladies came out of nowhere, loud and laughing,they rushed the door to get
in ahead of me.
I really had to go.
So I joined them.
They were a bit taken back, as I assume they expected me to give up my place in line. I closed and locked the door, smiled and motioned for them to go
ahead. They were like deer in the head lights.
So I went.
I'm not shy.
I had my own t.p. and politely offered it up when I was done, rinsed my hands and leaned against the door, implying that I would wait to open it after
they had finished.
They peed in silence.
Those two ladies turned out to be sisters and have been my friends since.
P>*)))>{
\"Well behaved women rarely make history.\" Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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Desertbull
Senior Nomad
Posts: 558
Registered: 8-27-2003
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Neal Johns deals with this all the time....
His list of 200+ Wives in Waiting are constantly cutting each other down...
DREAM IT! PLAN IT! LIVE IT!
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Zapotec
Nomad
Posts: 176
Registered: 11-1-2012
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Good thread. I heard of an ex pat who tried to steal a home from its owner! Hard to believe but it is a true story! He didn't get away with it,
though. And the ex pat hadn't even lived in Baja for that long either!
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oladulce
Super Nomad
Posts: 1625
Registered: 5-30-2005
Location: bcs
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Good one Paulina 
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MitchMan
Super Nomad
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Registered: 3-9-2009
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I don't know what it is, but Mexicans seem to exhibit child-like impatience and impetuousness when in lines or when driving in traffic. You'll get
honked at if you don't take off immediately when the green light comes on. Never made sense to me as Mexicans really don't care if they are on time
to anything.
BUT, it's been my observation that Mexicans in Baja generally are very quick and generous to give help to you when you need it most, especially in an
emergency. I've never ever seen the likes of that in the USA, in general.
Every time I get miffed by Mexican impetuousness, I remind myself of the many times that I got help when I really, really needed it, and then I calm
down...it's the least I can do.
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sequoyah
Junior Nomad
Posts: 98
Registered: 11-13-2013
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One of the first things I witnessed when I got to Ensenada was an American boater saying loudly to someone at the Port Captains office "Is that 30
minutes going to be real time or Mexican time?". He made me want to throw up.
I have encountered mostly kindness, good humor, a willingness to help and a graciousness that is hard to even describe from the people of Baja. And
most of what I have seen from the ex-pats here is respectful and thankful.
But I have also seen ex-pats and tourists who act like colonialists. Some talk loudly about the flaws and the difficulties, assuming an attitude of
superiority and an arrogance that is obvious.
They are certainly bound to have a negative effect no matter how much money the tourist industry provides. I hate to see that.
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sequoyah
Junior Nomad
Posts: 98
Registered: 11-13-2013
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"Me gustaría" is the term I was taught.
Someone told me early on that this was a polite way of making a request and it seems to be happily accepted by most people.
| Quote: | Originally posted by sancho
Expats should know manners/customs, Tourists maybe
not so, some expats are
in Mex to enjoy it for what it is, learn the language, etc., while some are there for the cheaper living, climate,
fishing, drinking. I do know from experience
that standing in line in Mex, one should not give much room
between yourself and the person standing in front of you,
otherwise Mex Nationals tend to think you are not in line,
a word I try to use when appropriate is quesira, which I believe
is I wish, in place of I want |
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sancho
Ultra Nomad
Posts: 2524
Registered: 10-6-2004
Location: OC So Cal
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| Quote: | Originally posted by sequoyah
"Is that 30 minutes going to be real time or Mexican time?"
|
While that satement is arrogrant, rude, there is some
deal of truth to it, I believe the Hawaiian Isles time is referred to
Island Time. Gringos are a bit obsessed with the clock,
In Mex, manana doesn't necessarily mean tomorrow, but
courtesy goes a long way
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sequoyah
Junior Nomad
Posts: 98
Registered: 11-13-2013
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It was the way he said it.
| Quote: | Originally posted by sancho
| Quote: | Originally posted by sequoyah
"Is that 30 minutes going to be real time or Mexican time?"
|
While that satement is arrogrant, rude, there is some
deal of truth to it, I believe the Hawaiian Isles time is referred to
Island Time. Gringos are a bit obsessed with the clock,
In Mex, manana doesn't necessarily mean tomorrow, but
courtesy goes a long way |
I am learning that time is different here, and that's fine. He said it in a really arrogant and condescending way… and to someone who was going out
of his way to assist him.
I haven't seen a lot of that, but I want to hide when I do.
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oxxo
Banned
Posts: 2347
Registered: 5-17-2006
Location: Wherever I am, I'm there
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Mood: If I was feeling any better, I'd be twins!
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| Quote: | Originally posted by sancho
| Quote: | Originally posted by sequoyah
"Is that 30 minutes going to be real time or Mexican time?"
|
While that satement is arrogrant, rude, there is some
deal of truth to it, I believe the Hawaiian Isles time is referred to
Island Time. Gringos are a bit obsessed with the clock,
In Mex, manana doesn't necessarily mean tomorrow, but
courtesy goes a long way |
I know I have told this story on BN before but it is one of my favorites and shows how goodnatured Mexicans can be.
I had a blockage in my sewer so I called my Mexican plumber, Pablito, a rolly-polly kind of guy. Pablito surveyed the problem and said in Spanish, "I
can fix this in a Mexican minute!" I said, Pablito how long is a Mexican minute? (he set me up). He responded in English, "About two days!" He then
started laughing so hard he had trouble catching his breath. I love Mexicans!! (he was done in a couple of hours, even replaced a section of line
that was cracked and clogged with tree roots, no further problems in 4 years)
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